Just a stranger in kneed of some knee puns

No, really. I have a report on knees due this week, but I got too inebriated to finish on my own. My partner got pissed at me, which I understand because this project is a joint effort and all.

So I need Reddit's help to come up with some good ones to save the day and make the class laugh!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RustyMoth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Guys give me some good KNEE puns. Yes, i am In-Knee-ciating, this because i really knee-d it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/totallyagenius
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
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A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,

"You've broken your hand."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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As we were at the top of the Eiffel Tower watching a beautiful sunset, I got down on one knee and said, β€œHoney?”

She gasped audibly and said, β€œYeah?”

I said, β€œHelp! My knee is made of magnets!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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What do you call a guy with an ant on his knee?

Anthony

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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My left knee has never committed a crime.

I can’t say the same for his felony.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nate_hawwk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Not Dat knee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Kid knee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BleepBlorb69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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*Slap knee* repeat x 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Turronno
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I took my son to see Santa today, but as soon as he sat on his knee he started crying. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's this job! I hate it!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Hello, my name is Richard, and I have a bad knee..

You can call me Limp Dick

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Fuck β€œKnee”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CowKestis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Knee-Slapper?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maiiflower_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Do you know when Chinese greet each other, they always ask about their knee?

Knee how?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chizhi1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Why did the kid rub herbs on his scraped knee?

Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHarrison007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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From a botched stunt, an actor took an arrow to the knee.

He's okay though, this is Hollywood, it was a faux knee arrow.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Just had double knee surgery in Japan

I guess you can call them Japa-knees

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b-dummy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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This Knee,Florida
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ithinkhisnameis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Their knee grows v.redd.it/kk122abx34451
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsiganology
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Did you hear Bruce Lee hit his knee

He is now bruise knee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_mike-2004
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?

He never liked Bruised Knee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BucketsOLouis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend hit her knee on a drawer handle

I heard my girlfriend from the kitchen say "Ow!"

I walked in and said "what happened?"

She said pointed to a drawer handle and said "I knee'd this"

I said, "Well, I can get you more"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsmith944
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My son and I both have knee problems

It is a joint issue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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My wife's knees hurt...i tild her she needs knee braces
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Mickey to Goofy: My knee hurts!

Goofy: Which one?

Mickey: Disney!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emil_Jorgensen05
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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What would you call your knee if it engages in a rap battle? Disney
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hellgirlxoxo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Today I was eating a hot cross bun when I dropped it on my knee.

Now I have a bunny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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Spitting image, * slaps knee*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sghirawoo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...

Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ViShAl2212
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Anytime someone hurts their knee try these:

Ask where it hurts and then say "oh so you hurt your High-knee" if it's the top of the knee, or "oh you hurt your Below-knee" if it's lower. My dumbest but favorite joke I've come up with.

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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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finding knee-mole, third part in the trilogy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billyonthereddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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When I was a kid, I fell down and hurt my knee. As I sat there crying, my father came over to check on me.

Dad pointed to a red area near the top of my knee that was obviously the injury and said β€œwhere does it hurt? Is it your high knee, (then he points much lower) or your low knee?”

I respond, β€œit’s my high knee.”

Dad says, β€œit’s your heinie??! I thought you hurt your knee!”

I remember being furious. I have now pulled this one on my five year old, and I can’t wait until my one year old is old enough to be on the receiving end of it as well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikehocksbig
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
That’s a knee slapper.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andr3w741
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Dis knee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueBeetle65
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Do you like my knee cap?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomenein
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Picture of my fiancee's knee cap.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jak0shadows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The other Knee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ithinkhisnameis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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Hot take: I'm a strong massage a knee advocate
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScholesRightFoot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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What is it called when your knee transplant fails?

Irony

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolkoala1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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I saw my son scratching his knee

I asked him if he had a 123.

Confused, he looked at me and asked what I meant.

I stared back and said, you have an ichi ni san.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lime_Meringue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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I was in the gym the other day, when I saw a man get down on one knee and propose to his girlfriend. Unfortunately she said no!

Well that didn't workout...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinHolroyd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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I tapped my 11 year old son’s knee yesterday and said β€œwhat organ is this?” He said β€œumm, my leg?” I said β€œnope it’s your kid knee”.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramalamahamjam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at a sandwich restaurant once. I got a meat and cheese sandwich, and when the waiter asked me what kind of meat I wanted, I pointed to his knee. He didn't know what I meant, so I left.

I guess he did understand that I wanted bologna.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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What do you call a guy with one toe and one knee?

Tony!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/falconman478
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I need some knee puns please

My dad had knee surgery yesterday And my wife made some cookies, she wants to write some witty knee jokes on them with frosting and we "kneed" your help! Thank you in advance all your beautiful people !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JKRHP
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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