No, really. I have a report on knees due this week, but I got too inebriated to finish on my own. My partner got pissed at me, which I understand because this project is a joint effort and all.
So I need Reddit's help to come up with some good ones to save the day and make the class laugh!
That's a moray.
While the nurse was getting me ready to go, she had to disconnect the wires and take off all tabs. She said there all wires removed. I said “thanks now I am wireless!”
The wife groaned
They get a small kick out of it
I can’t say the same for his felony.
"You've broken your hand."
She gasped audibly and said, “Yeah?”
I said, “Help! My knee is made of magnets!”
You can call me Limp Dick
"It's this job! I hate it!"
Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds.
I guess you can call them Japa-knees
He's okay though, this is Hollywood, it was a faux knee arrow.
He is now bruise knee
I heard my girlfriend from the kitchen say "Ow!"
I walked in and said "what happened?"
She said pointed to a drawer handle and said "I knee'd this"
I said, "Well, I can get you more"
He never liked Bruised Knee
Goofy: Which one?
Dad pointed to a red area near the top of my knee that was obviously the injury and said “where does it hurt? Is it your high knee, (then he points much lower) or your low knee?”
I respond, “it’s my high knee.”
Dad says, “it’s your heinie??! I thought you hurt your knee!”
I remember being furious. I have now pulled this one on my five year old, and I can’t wait until my one year old is old enough to be on the receiving end of it as well.
Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
Ask where it hurts and then say "oh so you hurt your High-knee" if it's the top of the knee, or "oh you hurt your Below-knee" if it's lower. My dumbest but favorite joke I've come up with.
He really gets a kick out of it.
I asked him if he had a 123.
Confused, he looked at me and asked what I meant.
I stared back and said, you have an ichi ni san.
Well that didn't workout...
My dad had knee surgery yesterday And my wife made some cookies, she wants to write some witty knee jokes on them with frosting and we "kneed" your help! Thank you in advance all your beautiful people !