What do you call a cow without legs?

Ground beef.

(My Dad was very excited to tell me this during our video chat tonight)

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mgereau
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 234
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg

That way you will start off the new year on the right foot

πŸ‘︎ 197
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

Because the cow has the udder

πŸ‘︎ 275
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Packaging69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember to lift your left leg up off the ground during the New Years countdown

So you can start the New Year off on the right foot

Edit: Thanks for the silver

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crustydog19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Make sure that your left leg is up before the clock hits midnight tomorrow.

That way you start 2021 on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaddyRecon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen......

What do you call a woman with two legs?

Noleen

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wondrouswanderer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Why do we tell actors to β€œbreak a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kattykat21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stalnoypirat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I have 6 legs, 8 arms, and 10 heads. What am I?

A liar.

πŸ‘︎ 487
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosh1990
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter they won’t come anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Project_1nth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
They tried to sack her, and she didn’t have a leg to stand on...
πŸ‘︎ 242
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I dreamt I was in a swordfight with a knight, and he cut off the bottom part of my legs.

Sadly I was defeated.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?

IHOP

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICKDOGG424
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him..

He wont come anyways

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Just before midnight tonight, I’ll lift up my left leg.

That way, I can start the new year on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

8 pirates!

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashoverkill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother lost his left arm and left leg in a terrible auto accident.

He is all right, now.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/numberthu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My legs aren’t made for walking

They’re bees knees

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bearclawbear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
If my brother gets his legs amputated...

Does that make him my half brother?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boodahbellie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was dating a girl with a wooden leg

but I broke it off.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I took all the crab legs at the all you can eat buffet

I have shellfish eating habits

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RZN_AZ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve bought my girlfriend a wooden leg for Christmas.

It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with long legs

High steaks

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheExplodingPie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cow milking stools have only 3 legs?

Cuz the Cow's got the udder!

πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanguard_The
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What time do you eat on leg day?

Lunge time

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d2p2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the doctor prescribe to the supernova who was complaining of the aching of their leg?

Nova-cain

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDreadist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does milking stool only have three legs?

Because the cow has the utter

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/11CaptainRex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Disabled!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TropicalMoonlight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A pool table!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Bruce Springsteen hurt his leg?

He was dancing in the dark.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What has 4 legs and goes AAAaaaah ?

A sheep with no lips.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Turkey say after its leg got bitten off

β€œLost my leg in β€˜nom”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlessedThree_2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Back when I worked at a different brewery, one of the brewers only had one leg.

She was in charge of the hops.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DukeofZebulon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A man broke his leg in three places. He went to his doctor for advice.

β€œStop going to those places!”

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do we say break a leg in the theatre?

Its because everyone in the play is in a cast

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akien0222
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Broke a leg , it hurts so much

Had to take my friend to the hospital

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salvatoz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Japanese man say when he saw his boy scratch his leg?

1 2, 3?

Edit: read the numbers in Japanese

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor, I can't feel my legs!

I know, I've cut off your arms!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an antelope with no legs?

Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joyful_platypus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming home

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandybiotch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do they say β€œbreak a leg” in theatre?

Because every play has a cast

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st be sure to lift your left leg.

That way you will start the new year off on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkAmig0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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