What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying on your front porch?
I was engaged to a girl once with a wooden leg
But I had to break it off
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
My friend broke his leg, so I wrote, "You're stupid " on his cast.
I was adding insult to injury
Did you hear about the guy with five legs?
His pants fit like a glove.
I once dated a girl missing 1 leg, it didn't work out though...
I'm lack toes intolerant.
A pirate walks in a bar with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch
The bar tender says “wow how’d you get that peg leg?” The pirate says one day I was out sailing and a shark jumped aboard and tore it clean off” next the bartender asks “and the hook? How’d you get that?” The pirate responds “well we were out whaling and one leapt out of the water and bit my hand clean off” the bartender then asks, “ok so what about the eyepatch??” The pirate responds “I was out walking on the deck of my ship when I looked up and a seagull shit right in my eye” the bartender is a bit confused and says “that made you lose your eye?” “No” says the pirate “it was my first day with the hook!”
Thought up this one all on my own and I'm proud of it: Did you hear the joke about the leg?
In my opinion, it wasn't very fu-knee.
I wanted to get tickets to a comedy club until I found out they cost an arm and a leg.
When I found out why I’m glad I didn’t go - the show wasn’t that humerus and the staff was short handed.
A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying in a pool of blood?
What do you call a dog without legs?
It doesn't matter what you call it, he's not coming.
I manage to cut off my enemies leg during a sword fight
The enemy: aww, you de-feeted me
I once broke my left arm and my left leg
I recently met a man with one leg named John.
He never told me the name of his other leg.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
What is grey, has four legs, howls at the moon, and eats cement?
A wolf...
I just added the cement to make it hard.
What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands, and two legs?
No arms no legs
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs .....at your front door?
Matt
...in your swimming pool?
Bob
....in your mailbox?
Bill
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs who is popular with the boys?
Hedy
What do you call a woman with no arms and 1 leg?
Eileen
What do you call a Chinese woman with no arms and 1 leg?
Irene
Archaeologists gathered to find the leg bones of ancient men
I just fell fell out of a window and broke my leg
It’s not going tibia ok for a while
I got bit by a Japanese mosquito on the leg, now I got a Japanese one and two
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
And a cow that plays with himself?
Beef stroganoff
Edited (h/t Hour_Radio1328 & logixdude)
have you heard of the guy who broke his legs on purpose?
Why don't the Chinese understand the human leg?
Because they constantly ask "Knee-How?"
What has six legs and feathers?
A physician broke his leg while auditioning for a play.
Luckily he still made the cast.
What do you call a world class athlete who injuries their leg?
Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
If they lifted up the other one, they’d fall over.
My hand slipped off the handle of the casket while carrying it to the hearse and left a deep bruise on my leg.
What has four legs and goes “oom, oom”?
Tried stealing a leg of lamb from the store
A staff asked me what I am doing with that. I replied, "Roasted with potatoes, vegetables and a lamb sauce would be great."
I once dated a girl with a wooden leg.
What do you do with a dog without legs?
You drag it around the block
What do you call a Spanish donkey with no legs??
Where do you find a cow with no legs ?
Exactly where you left it.
My monitor is on it's last legs
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs ?
My chair is missing an arm and a leg
And that doesn't sit well with me.
Why did Bono fall off the stage and break a leg?
He got too close to the edge.
My mate broke his leg, so I wrote "You are stupid" on his cast.
I was just adding insult to injury.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, it's not coming.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
What do you call a man with no arms or legs?
I was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg once...
....sadly, she broke it off."
Where do you find a dog without legs?
Right where you left him.
What do you call a dog, with no legs?
It doesnt matter, he is not coming
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
