My friend didn't trust the surgeon with no limbs

I said "don't worry, he's armless"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigconk69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Local TV weatherman breaks all of his limbs but insists on coming in to work...

...tune in at 11, to see his four-casts.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a book about limbs taking over the world

It was armageddon

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterCheezOtter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
This just in: 2 men broke into the city bank using nothing more than a few mannequin limbs.

Officials say we are dealing with an armed robbery

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The poor willow in my backyard just broke one of its main limbs off.

Now it's an amputree!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I can amputate grizzly limbs if I want to.

The constitution gives me the right to bear arms.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A man with muscular furred limbs and claws walks into a bar

The bartender gives the man a funny look then the man says: "What? I have the right to bear arms".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CuttingEdge132
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a specialised vendor today to buy a prosthetic limb.

But when I got there ownership had changed hands.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I work at a store that sells imported prosthetic limbs.

I never though I'd grow up to be an international arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a guy selling prosthetic limbs on my street.

He’s an arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I opened a shop selling used artificial limbs

I called it the second hand second hand store

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-m-meeseeks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Earlier today, a man was seen robbing a prosthetic limb factory.

Witnesses say he's armed and dangerous.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Electricman82006
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend started a business exporting artificial limbs to hospitals in foreign countries.

He’s an International Arms Dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A limb, a limb, my kingdom for a limb
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grenadier_Hanz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my kids that girls would often "go out on a limb" for Andre the Giant.

Then I showed them that famous photo of the four ladies sitting on his arms outstretched. (The sub doesn't allow photos posted)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishslap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are prosthetic limbs so expensive?

They'll cost you an arm and a leg.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kris754a
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If you cut off a pig’s limb it would be a hamputation.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youngdoorstop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My prosthetic limbs business has taken off and we made our first shipment abroad.

I am now an international arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 301
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Going out on a limb here, hoping this wood help with rekindling our relationship.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeliddle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
An octopus’s limbs look exactly alike

They’re itentacle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I replaced my bowstring with a thin tree limb.

It will break eventually, but it hasn't yet, so I'll nock on wood!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freeaboo_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I think...

I probably failed my arboreal safety exam.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The weather girl was wrong and got me into an accident which broke all my limbs...

it was a bad 4-cast

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Captain Hook bought his prosthetic limb at a second hand store.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yup4545
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I took out a loan with a bank who cut off your limbs if you didn’t meet the payments

Cost me an arm and a leg to keep up with their interest rates

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harry_Mote
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
They rushed me into the hospital with all my limbs detached, screaming in pain, but the doctor took one look at me and rolled his eyes.

β€œPull yourself together.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jollyben
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
You hear about the guy with new limbs?

I heard he's armed now

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsroman98
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Never wear feline prosthetic limbs that have been given a high military ranking...

It's a major faux paw.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I watched a documentary on people who had lost mobility in their limbs last night

It was lame.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbennett49
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tree who's limbs fell off in a storm?

An amputree

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LieutenantTan26
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Reading a paper looking at the difference between limb development in snakes & mammals someone asked what the composition of the snake genome is

I said: I bet it contains a lot of hisssstidines.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turtle_flu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Lost Limb

My friend lost his left arm... He's all right

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewjamesSB
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
🚨︎ report
Prosthetic Limbs

Dad overhears conversation: "... I heard he has to get prosthetics! How expensive do you think those are?"

"I bet they cost an arm and a leg."

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheD1ctator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Prosthetic limbs cost an arm and a leg.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/growlingbear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2016
🚨︎ report

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