My friend didn't trust the surgeon with no limbs
I said "don't worry, he's armless"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Local TV weatherman breaks all of his limbs but insists on coming in to work...
...tune in at 11, to see his four-casts.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
I read a book about limbs taking over the world
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
This just in: 2 men broke into the city bank using nothing more than a few mannequin limbs.
Officials say we are dealing with an armed robbery
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
The poor willow in my backyard just broke one of its main limbs off.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
I can amputate grizzly limbs if I want to.
The constitution gives me the right to bear arms.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
A man with muscular furred limbs and claws walks into a bar
The bartender gives the man a funny look then the man says:
"What? I have the right to bear arms".
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
I went to a specialised vendor today to buy a prosthetic limb.
But when I got there ownership had changed hands.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
I work at a store that sells imported prosthetic limbs.
I never though I'd grow up to be an international arms dealer.
π︎ 34
π
︎ May 27 2020
Thereβs a guy selling prosthetic limbs on my street.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
I opened a shop selling used artificial limbs
I called it the second hand second hand store
π︎ 44
π
︎ Feb 06 2020
Earlier today, a man was seen robbing a prosthetic limb factory.
Witnesses say he's armed and dangerous.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jan 24 2020
My friend started a business exporting artificial limbs to hospitals in foreign countries.
Heβs an International Arms Dealer.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
A limb, a limb, my kingdom for a limb
π︎ 25
π
︎ Sep 25 2019
I told my kids that girls would often "go out on a limb" for Andre the Giant.
Then I showed them that famous photo of the four ladies sitting on his arms outstretched. (The sub doesn't allow photos posted)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 21 2019
Why are prosthetic limbs so expensive?
They'll cost you an arm and a leg.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 15 2019
If you cut off a pigβs limb it would be a hamputation.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 20 2018
My prosthetic limbs business has taken off and we made our first shipment abroad.
I am now an international arms dealer.
π︎ 304
π
︎ May 05 2018
Going out on a limb here, hoping this wood help with rekindling our relationship.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 16 2019
An octopusβs limbs look exactly alike
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 09 2019
I replaced my bowstring with a thin tree limb.
It will break eventually, but it hasn't yet, so I'll nock on wood!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 30 2019
I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I think...
I probably failed my arboreal safety exam.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
The weather girl was wrong and got me into an accident which broke all my limbs...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 24 2019
Captain Hook bought his prosthetic limb at a second hand store.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 30 2019
I took out a loan with a bank who cut off your limbs if you didnβt meet the payments
Cost me an arm and a leg to keep up with their interest rates
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 09 2019
They rushed me into the hospital with all my limbs detached, screaming in pain, but the doctor took one look at me and rolled his eyes.
βPull yourself together.β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 23 2019
You hear about the guy with new limbs?
π︎ 55
π
︎ May 26 2016
Never wear feline prosthetic limbs that have been given a high military ranking...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 11 2018
I watched a documentary on people who had lost mobility in their limbs last night
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 30 2018
What do you call a tree who's limbs fell off in a storm?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 26 2017
Reading a paper looking at the difference between limb development in snakes & mammals someone asked what the composition of the snake genome is
I said: I bet it contains a lot of hisssstidines.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 10 2016
Lost Limb
My friend lost his left arm... He's all right
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 22 2013
Prosthetic Limbs
Dad overhears conversation:
"... I heard he has to get prosthetics! How expensive do you think those are?"
"I bet they cost an arm and a leg."
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jul 29 2014
Prosthetic limbs cost an arm and a leg.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 21 2016
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