I'm trying to come up with a good tree pun
I wood like to say a tree pun,
but I am going to branch off to different jokes and leaf you alone.
My dad told me to stop making tree puns.
But he's not the balsa me.
So I’m trying to work on tree puns
I guess you can say I’m branching out and sprucing them up a bit. They’re oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
I used to hear alot of tree puns
Most of them were all bark and no bite, even though they branched out to more deep rooted subjects. Some of the saps had to leave usually. Everyone was oakay in the end though, it left some of us feeling fruity. I was asked how the others were affected, but i told them i wooden know. I bought a wooden tv shortly after but everything was payperview.
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
Why did the tree cross the street?
They were opening a new branch on the other side
Dad: Why did the elephant climb the maple tree?
Daughter: (Studiously ignores him).
Dad: To eat some cherries.
Daughter: (Not looking up from her phone). Maple trees don't have cherries, Dad.
Dad: He brought his own.
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree
So I brought a tree home for Christmas
My son saw the huge tree and asked, "Are you going to put i up yourself?"
I replied, "No son I'm going to put it up in the living room."
Which tree wishes things were more like they used to be?
Why can you never find a hippo hiding in a tree?
Because they are so good at it.
what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?
I looked up my family tree.
Why were there no fighting games under the Christmas tree?
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.
What did the fog say to his long lost friend the tree?
A tree’s wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen
You can call it a chemis-tree
True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"
I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
How can you tell a dogwood tree from an elm tree?
What did the tree say when it ran into the mall?
Tina? Larry? Where is everybody?!? Oh my god, they’re all gone!!! ... Oooh a sale!
What did Jack yell when he angrily chopped down his favorite tree in The Nightmare Before Christmas?
What did the tree do when the bank was closed?
You know what they say about picking the right species of Christmas Tree?
It's a huge Pine in the Ash
Why is the tree in the water?
How do you call a country with deceiving tree?
Whats yellow and sits in the tree
A Prostitute tweetie
What does the Prostitute Tweetie say?
Just heard that about 5 mins ago at the Christmas dinner table... from my dad.
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!”
The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree.
The guy behind the counter said to my dad, "Are you going to put it up yourself?".
Dad replied, "Don't be disgusting, I'm going to put it in the living room."
I bought a massive Christmas tree at the weekend. The guy in the store asked "Are you planning on putting it up yourself?"
I said "Nah, I'll probably just put it up in the living room"
What did a tree say to its annoying neighbor?
What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree on you, it will kill you?
Today I started decorating the Christmas tree with my kids....
But they started screaming and complaining, so I had to take them down.
What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
What does a tree never do but sometimes have?
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
I have a pet tree...
It's like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter.
I clean all my weapons with tree sap.
Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns.
My kid asked me if I’m going to put the Christmas tree up myself.
I said I was gonna put it up in the living room.
Did you hear Santa got charged for flying around the yew forest?
He was charged with evasion of taxus.