I'm trying to come up with a good tree pun

But I'm stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockboxatx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I wood like to say a tree pun,

but I am going to branch off to different jokes and leaf you alone.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad told me to stop making tree puns.

But he's not the balsa me.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
So I’m trying to work on tree puns

I guess you can say I’m branching out and sprucing them up a bit. They’re oak-ay at the moment. But nothing that would leaf you hanging.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmiddleton6
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.

Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWackyPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonPhyres
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Poor sap, couldn't keep up with my tree puns. imgur.com/a/VOvok
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoPutThatThere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnapsCheese
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
🚨︎ report
I used to hear alot of tree puns

Most of them were all bark and no bite, even though they branched out to more deep rooted subjects. Some of the saps had to leave usually. Everyone was oakay in the end though, it left some of us feeling fruity. I was asked how the others were affected, but i told them i wooden know. I bought a wooden tv shortly after but everything was payperview.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lieghannsheriden
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 234
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Chemis-tree
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ACrazyCookie491
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the tree cross the street?

They were opening a new branch on the other side

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scarcityflow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Dad: Why did the elephant climb the maple tree?

Daughter: (Studiously ignores him).

Dad: To eat some cherries.

Daughter: (Not looking up from her phone). Maple trees don't have cherries, Dad.

Dad: He brought his own.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RipKipley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/und88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stalnoypirat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
So I brought a tree home for Christmas

My son saw the huge tree and asked, "Are you going to put i up yourself?"

I replied, "No son I'm going to put it up in the living room."

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Which tree wishes things were more like they used to be?

Pine

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stiney86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
Why can you never find a hippo hiding in a tree?

Because they are so good at it.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SumOfMostFears
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?

rick ash-tree

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/imboredwithlyf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I looked up my family tree.

I am the sap.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Why were there no fighting games under the Christmas tree?

They got Tekken

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saint_Talos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.

I said: β€œOf course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.

I'm stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unknownemoji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fog say to his long lost friend the tree?

"I mist you!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaykDoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A tree’s wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen

You can call it a chemis-tree

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wergio256
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"

I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."

Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Etereve
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you tell a dogwood tree from an elm tree?

By the bark

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the tree say when it ran into the mall?

Tina? Larry? Where is everybody?!? Oh my god, they’re all gone!!! ... Oooh a sale!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JumpinJaccFlash
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Jack yell when he angrily chopped down his favorite tree in The Nightmare Before Christmas?

Tiiimmmmmmbbeeerrrrrrr-ton

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Obrocheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the tree do when the bank was closed?

Started its own branch.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what they say about picking the right species of Christmas Tree?

It's a huge Pine in the Ash

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TangerineX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is the tree in the water?

It has swim trunks

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you call a country with deceiving tree?

A contree

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoSoonYetSoLate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats yellow and sits in the tree

A Prostitute tweetie

What does the Prostitute Tweetie say?

"Cheap Cheap"

Just heard that about 5 mins ago at the Christmas dinner table... from my dad.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bananarang1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

β€œYou can't cut me down,” the tree complains. β€œI’m a talking tree!”

The man responds, β€œYou may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree.

The guy behind the counter said to my dad, "Are you going to put it up yourself?".

Dad replied, "Don't be disgusting, I'm going to put it in the living room."

πŸ‘︎ 949
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a massive Christmas tree at the weekend. The guy in the store asked "Are you planning on putting it up yourself?"

I said "Nah, I'll probably just put it up in the living room"

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kreevbik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did a tree say to its annoying neighbor?

Leaf me alone

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/twozon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree on you, it will kill you?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 262
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I started decorating the Christmas tree with my kids....

But they started screaming and complaining, so I had to take them down.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A pool table!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a tree never do but sometimes have?

Leaves.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoLittlebook
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.

With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a pet tree...

It's like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter.

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I clean all my weapons with tree sap.

Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 321
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid asked me if I’m going to put the Christmas tree up myself.

I said I was gonna put it up in the living room.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlamingNinja925
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Tree joke

Did you hear Santa got charged for flying around the yew forest? He was charged with evasion of taxus.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.