I’d rather eat pork, you pine!
He refers to himself as a conifer
My boss was setting up a teleconference between our home office and our branch office in Washington D.C. I wasn't attending this meeting, but was outside the room getting some coffee when he came out. We made some small talk and he said he was waiting on everyone in the D.C. office to finish eating before he headed back into the room. This was my moment to shine:
Me: "Oh, were they eating conifers?"
Boss (slightly confused) "No"
Me: "You're right. They probably eat D.Ciduous food out there"
Too good not to share.