I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/und88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"

I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."

Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Etereve
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I found a pine tree that identified as a wolf.

It was a firry.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slekrons
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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A pine cone told a dad joke

All he got was a pine groan.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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A mafia boss hired a hitman to take down a few pines in his front yard

The hitman asked: 'what do you want me to do after the job is done?' The mafia boss replied: 'I want you to go bury tree bodies.'

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Why are pine trees bad at sewing?

They always drop their needles!!

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shooception
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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I knew this girl who wanted bigger boobs, but couldn't afford proper implants, so she had her uncle make her a false set out of pine.Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though,

Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though, wooden tit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Why are pine trees so sentimental?

Because they are sappy

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevbeau7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Pros and Cons of Pine Trees

https://preview.redd.it/l1bw02kr5k131.png?width=799&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e9d827518b2c69da1d87c1815a47a208a906c7a

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMax0803
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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My neighbors were trimming their pine, so I thought I would pitch in to help

But I fell and now am in a very sticky situation...

I know this will resin-ate with many of you out there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trickyd9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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A squirrel is sitting on a branch in a pine tree when suddenly he feels the whole tree begin to shake violently.

He looks down and sees that a full-grown elephant is slowly clambering up the tree. When the elephant finally reaches the branch the squirrel asks, "Why on earth did you climb up into this pine tree?!"

The elephant then says, "I came up here to eat some pears, of course."

The squirrel, completely shocked at the elephant's ignorance, exclaims, "You elephants don't know the first thing about trees! This is a PINE tree, there are no pears here."

The elephant then explains, "Oh, I know, I brought my own."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhapsodicRaven
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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How does the colour of a pine tree change in central China?

It starts beige-ing

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CVSSR
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Why was the pine forced to walk the plank?

Because he was guilty of tree-ason.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Why was the pine tree sent to time out?

Because it was knotty

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghstmnky
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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What's a Pine tree's favorite fruit?

A Pine-apple!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theycallmeb77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
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What happens when you're lost in a pine forest?

"I don't know, pop, what?"

You go pine nuts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/annaftw
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2016
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Where do pine nuts come from?

Whenever my step-mom makes a recipe with pine nuts in it, my dad always says, "Ah yes, pine nuts. From the male pine tree!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mortalys77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2013
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Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?

Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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A squirrel is living in a pine tree, when one day, he feels it shaking, looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree. The squirrel shrieks, β€œWhat are you doing climbing my tree?” β€œWell, I’m coming up here to eat some pears.” says the elephant.

β€œYou idiot, this is a pine tree, there are no pears!”

β€œWell I brought my own pears.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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