I don't Cedar benefit...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zman4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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There we were, driving through a small southern town with my mom and she says, β€œMaple, elm, cedar, all these streets are named after trees. I wonder why.”

Then there’s me over here, β€œI guess tree names were poplar. β€œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mapkar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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I smelled a balsam and cedar scented candle...

It made me pine for the woods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TayoftheDead
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2013
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My girlfriend was telling me that moths don't like cedar...

Me: "That's what moth balls are made of."

GF: "Really? Is that why they hate them?"

Me: "No, it's actually because they're so modest."

GF: Gives me puzzled look

Me: "They don't want you to cedar balls."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillerTuxedo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
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I moved to Iowa so I could

Cedar Rapids

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danlex26
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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I try to encourage my wife to come up with her own mom jokes. So when she asked me to make one up regarding wood, I got a little upset.

"Cedar, that's what I'm talking about. Its not oak-ee doke to take credit for what wood be my joke. Every bodhi has to create their own." I told her. Didn't mean to chop her down like that in hindsight. I hope she still pines after me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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Did you hear about the car made out of a tree?

It has the biggest trunk I've ever seen.

( http://inhabitat.com/the-unusual-cedar-rocket-is-the-fastest-all-electric-log-car-in-the-world/ )

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixiedonut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2016
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What is a tree's favorite salad dressing?

Branch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaiahjc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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A collection of my fathers best.

I was showing my dad some pictures from my trip to Europe. He saw a picture of a rock covered with moss and said, "I'm lichen that!"

For Christmas dinner we were having ham. The plate of carved ham was between my dad and I. Someone asked where the plate went. My dad says,"We're hoggin' it."

There was a store in my home town called carols cedar cellar. It was damaged in a flood and they knocked the building down exposing the basement. We drive by and my dad says,"Now you can cedar cellar."

I have so much to learn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roostermathis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2015
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Grandad Jokes...

There's a Russian fellow that lives in Beaver. His name is Urin Pavlovic. Today he was headed north and I was behind him. He started driving slow and erratic. Now I'll have to talk to my doctor. I had a problem passing Urin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaacdammit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2015
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Found this gem of a Dr. Dad joke on facebook today

"Someone asked me to see a patient with the last name Jew, and I asked the room number, and they didn't know, they said I could just look up her last name...and I said, 'Do you have any idea how many Jews there are at Cedars-Sinai?'"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mreverything1691
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2014
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