WOOD yall give some wood puns
Wood puns
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Punny Redditors, I need your best "wood" puns!
I need help for a project! What are your best puns that have anything to do with wood?
Examples:
"Can I axe you a question?"
"I wood stay longer, but I have to leaf now"
EDIT: another one: "birch please!"
What did the piece of wood say when it had nothing to do?
Wood you say my dog is ok?
"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."
They asked me how I put the wood together so well.
A bear is riding a bike in the woods
when he passes a man who notices him and yells:
"What the heck?! Bears don't know how to ride bikes!
The bear replies: "oh right, i forgot!" and tips over.
My uncle used to tell me this joke as a kid and it took me a while to understand the tiny but valuable lesson behind it.
What's the weakest part of Tiger Woods game?
What do you call a podium that eats wood?
I heard that Tiger Wood's car accident was caused by a problem with his tires...
How does a T-Rex cut wood?
Once I finally finished installing the thin wood flooring in my large living room, I thought to myself...
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
Someone asked how much I know about carving objects out of wood.
I wood not want to spend it
So a bear walks out of the woods onto a golf course
The golfers didn't want to bear with him about the whereabouts of Tiger Woods and ran towards another bearing.
I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
How do you find your dog if it's lost in the woods?
Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!
A father and son were sitting in the woods.
Son: Dad, do trees poop?
Dad: Of course son, how do you think we get #2 pencils.
Did you hear about the tiger woods crash?
Tiger Woods was in a car accident this morning...
Never make love to a thin piece of wood without using protection.
If you forget, you might get a veneereal disease.
Perhaps this is why wood floors are so popular these days
“Hey, how much wood have you chopped so far?”
“Not sure. Let me check the logs.”
Why did Tiger Woods' house burn down?
Because he got rid of all his hose.
I thought Tiger Woods was supposed to be good at driving...
Did you hear about Tiger Woods latest handicap?
A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.
The wolves may be predators but he pray
Why do you want to sleep in the woods?
True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says “they are knot holes”.
Miss4 says “if they are not holes, what are they?”
What do hipsters cut wood with
I once built a car out of wood
I'm building my own guitar, but every time I look at the wood I've bought for it, I get overwhelmed by anxiety about how it will turn out.
I shouldn't have started with the fretboard.
I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.
I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.
My uncle just passed away from accidentally drinking wood varnish
It was a sad way to go, but a beautiful finish.
Wife: I’m trying to cut a piece of wood, but it won’t stay in place.
Husband: I recommend that you use this clamp with my company’s logo on it.
Wife: I don’t need your advise!
"Hey!! How long have you been chopping wood for?"
"Not sure, let me check my logs."
I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
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