WOOD yall give some wood puns

Wood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pancake_Pollack
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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10p% Wood puns by DadLAD (actually check his fb out though) youtu.be/Ypk06Wj926Y
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islarf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Wood puns

https://preview.redd.it/6egcw39r98z21.png?width=1626&format=png&auto=webp&s=07fa82d96e5340d3eed13d4c4832de6dffccd97b

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyw7
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Punny Redditors, I need your best "wood" puns!

I need help for a project! What are your best puns that have anything to do with wood?

Examples:

"Can I axe you a question?"

"I wood stay longer, but I have to leaf now"

EDIT: another one: "birch please!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cat_attack_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
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Hard wood deck
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jdenyer
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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What did the piece of wood say when it had nothing to do?

I’m board.

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πŸ“…︎ May 10
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Wood you say my dog is ok?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THMFL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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Talk about morning wood
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghakazian
πŸ“…︎ May 19
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"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."

"That's slander, man."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slashycent
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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They asked me how I put the wood together so well.

I said, I nailed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Hazeeq-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
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A bear is riding a bike in the woods

when he passes a man who notices him and yells:

"What the heck?! Bears don't know how to ride bikes!

The bear replies: "oh right, i forgot!" and tips over.

My uncle used to tell me this joke as a kid and it took me a while to understand the tiny but valuable lesson behind it.

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πŸ“…︎ May 11
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What's the weakest part of Tiger Woods game?

Driving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Light-Insight
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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What do you call a podium that eats wood?

Hannibal Lecturn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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I heard that Tiger Wood's car accident was caused by a problem with his tires...

He had a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrewlord
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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How does a T-Rex cut wood?

With his dino-saw

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
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Once I finally finished installing the thin wood flooring in my large living room, I thought to myself...

At lath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle-Zippers
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?

It was chipped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeoshua82
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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Someone asked how much I know about carving objects out of wood.

I replied, β€œA whittle.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
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I wood do it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theManlyMan8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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I wood not want to spend it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
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So a bear walks out of the woods onto a golf course

The golfers didn't want to bear with him about the whereabouts of Tiger Woods and ran towards another bearing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimalexp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...

I didn't expect it but he took a fence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexd281
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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How do you find your dog if it's lost in the woods?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
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A father and son were sitting in the woods.

Son: Dad, do trees poop?

Dad: Of course son, how do you think we get #2 pencils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beek77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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Did you hear about the tiger woods crash?

He’ll never drive again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/funbundle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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Tiger Woods was in a car accident this morning...

I heard he hit a birdie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FroshPresident
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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Never make love to a thin piece of wood without using protection.

If you forget, you might get a veneereal disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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Perhaps this is why wood floors are so popular these days
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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β€œHey, how much wood have you chopped so far?”

β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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Why did Tiger Woods' house burn down?

Because he got rid of all his hose.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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I thought Tiger Woods was supposed to be good at driving...

Ba dum tish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amazingwolfboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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Did you hear about Tiger Woods latest handicap?

Sorry, Too soon?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deplorable_guido
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.

The wolves may be predators but he pray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaFamous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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Why do you want to sleep in the woods?

Forrest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathBirdie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says β€œthey are knot holes”.

Miss4 says β€œif they are not holes, what are they?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
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What do hipsters cut wood with

A sahhhhh dude

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheThriftyAlmond
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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I once built a car out of wood

It wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sss69sss
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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I'm building my own guitar, but every time I look at the wood I've bought for it, I get overwhelmed by anxiety about how it will turn out.

I shouldn't have started with the fretboard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
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I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.

I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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My uncle just passed away from accidentally drinking wood varnish

It was a sad way to go, but a beautiful finish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SparkleFritz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Wife: I’m trying to cut a piece of wood, but it won’t stay in place.

Husband: I recommend that you use this clamp with my company’s logo on it.

Wife: I don’t need your advise!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ugueth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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"Hey!! How long have you been chopping wood for?"

"Not sure, let me check my logs."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...

I didn't expect it but he took a fence.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexd281
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report

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