WOOD yall give some wood puns

Wood

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pancake_Pollack
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
10p% Wood puns by DadLAD (actually check his fb out though) youtu.be/Ypk06Wj926Y
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Islarf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Wood puns

https://preview.redd.it/6egcw39r98z21.png?width=1626&format=png&auto=webp&s=07fa82d96e5340d3eed13d4c4832de6dffccd97b

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tyw7
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Punny Redditors, I need your best "wood" puns!

I need help for a project! What are your best puns that have anything to do with wood?

Examples:

"Can I axe you a question?"

"I wood stay longer, but I have to leaf now"

EDIT: another one: "birch please!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cat_attack_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
🚨︎ report
β€œHey, how much wood have you chopped so far?”

β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
"Hey!! How long have you been chopping wood for?"

"Not sure, let me check my logs."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
I guess you could say it gave him some wood
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ch3000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Tiger Woods and Cub Woods
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Wood fired Pizza

How is Pizza going to get a job now?!?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grunge615
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A tree’s wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen

You can call it a chemis-tree

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wergio256
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle just passed away from accidentally drinking wood varnish

It was a sad way to go, but a beautiful finish.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SparkleFritz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a lumberjack who moonlighted as a serial killer. He used wood chippers to dispose of the bodies, which is why he was so prolific.

Every once in a while, these guys come out of the woodwork.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
I can cut a piece of wood in half with my eyes.

It’s true I saw it with my own eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was stacking wood and a piece fell and tried to hit me

He was all bark and no bite

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MoondogGLOVER1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Every year around this time, my family and I go out to the woods to pick out and cut down our own menorah.

Happy Hanukkah dadjokes!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaspm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an exotic Italian supercar made entirely of wood?

Lumberghini.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoGoCrumbly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbour asked me β€œHey, how much wood did you chop today?”

I said, β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

πŸ‘︎ 197
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought about dressing up as a plank of wood for halloween

I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call wood that's scared?

Petrified

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Every time the camper heard something rustle in the woods he shouted, "It's a grizzly!"

Guess he was a bit bearanoid.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deejaydoug
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I wood. Wood you?
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrumpAzz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck?

If a wood chuck could Chuck Norris

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad told me he met that famous actor on his walk in the woods.

Huge axeman

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.

I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Tiger Wood’s favorite place to go on vacation?

The golf coast.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jom_and_Terry0306
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Elijah Wood name his shop that sells only bells?

Lord Of The Dings

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sportscar carved out of italian wood?

A lumberghini

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-sunnydaze-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...

She says, β€œOh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”

The guy replies, β€œI don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”

πŸ‘︎ 449
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I cut my foot whilst chopping wood

It was an axeident waiting to happen

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the scariest wood?

BAM! BOO!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TagMeWhenAliens
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A pillow made from wood
πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rd916
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Walk in the woods

Two guys are walking through a forest when they come across a lamppost. The first guy turns to the second and says "Whats a lamppost doing out in the middle of knowhere" and the second replies. "That's Narnia business"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFallsAlot32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If a woman has a baby on a piece of wood.

She would give birth on the labour board.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the crazy people find their way out of the woods ?

They followed the psycho path

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I was able to salvage some sandpaper from my wood shop fire...

But it was in rough shape.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you make a coffin with? Mourning wood.

Ha...Ha

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cory-gang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was a great wood worker,

until the termites really took their toll.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamsD351GN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Lil Jon’s favourite type of wood for bbq?

Mesquite skeet

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dragontail
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, β€œWhat was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”

The other replied, β€œTiiiiimmmber!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the spookiest type of wood?

Bam-boo!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I pulled over a truck going 80 miles an hour in a 55 zone. He had a cargo of axe-like tools used for shaping large pieces of wood.

He was hauling adze!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.