What kind of beer do timber cutters like best?


πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/BranfordJeff2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jazzy_Games
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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What did the spider say when the timber company moved into his neighborhood?

You logged onto my website!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowsoverylittle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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Instead of shouting "timber!", lumberjacks should shout "retreet"
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eisenhorn_UK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
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Timber: dating app for lumberjacks.

Slogan: I bet you wood.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kantina
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2016
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β€œHey, how much wood have you chopped so far?”

β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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What did the lesbian pirate say during sex?

Scissor me timbers!

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ‘€︎ u/huntingclue47
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Did you hear about the movie about trees?

Apparently it’s being directed by timber-ton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m3talh3ad05
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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WOOD yall give some wood puns


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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pancake_Pollack
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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What’s a tree’s favorite dating app?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameViolation666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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Me and my friends first day as a lumber jack

Me: Hey mate wood you mind if I ask a question

My friend: sure, axe your question

Me: I’m making an account on timber (tinder) can you help me?

My friend: sure just put you’re username etc. (you know the basic stuff) and then if you ever get a new phone you could just log in

Me: sweet

Ik this is bad I never make puns also I don’t mind criticism

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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What did the pirate say when he found his wooden leg in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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A couple jokes my sister has said over the years that I loved.

7+ years ago my sister and I were spending time with the makeshift hammock we had just built. She was spending more time than I was in it which led to argument.

Me: "Get out of the hammock or I will throw this Pretzel at your face."

Sister: "Go ahead and throw it at my face! I will just charge you with a salt!"

She laughed and winked as she shouted it.

Another time when she was around 8 or 9 she shouted something from the bathroom as she bathed.

Sister: "Everyone! what does a pirate say when his bath is too cold?"

Family: "What?"


These aren't even the best moments she has had. I just remember them most vividly.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/Braggle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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What's a tree's favorite dating app?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pratik007789
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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