The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 377
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What generation does Forest Gump belong to?

Gen-A

πŸ‘︎ 215
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/red_beard2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
Two skunks were named In and Out. One day, In went missing. Even though he was deep in the forest, Out found him right away. When asked how he did it, Out replied

"In stinked"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
I've always wanted to go to the Petrified Forest

But I've been too scared to go

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gideonindc
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."

"That's slander, man."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slashycent
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
A couple was in the forest painting words on fallen trees.

They were following their counsellor’s orders to have meaningful dye-a-log.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Why is it that nobody who lives within ten miles of Wisconsin's Forest Home Cemetery is allowed to be buried there?

Because they're all still alive!!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HughJamerican
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
What would you say about someone who likes automobiles, writing instruments, and forests?

That they’re in to carpentry!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deeoh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
A man is preparing to cut down a tree in the forest.

The tree says, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The man replies, "You're going to dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?

It's been logged out.

πŸ‘︎ 469
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/World-Tight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Forest Gump's password?

"1forest1"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBroodWitch99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
Why does it take one match to start a forest fire....

....but a whole box to start a camp fire.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
Why is there so much dirt on the forest floor?

Because nature abhors a vacuum

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frasaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down.

Do you think it's stumped?

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
A tree... In a forest? And no one is around?!

That's unheard of!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
A gambler visited rain forests every day and ended up getting penile cancer

I guess he was hitting the wrong sloths

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hadios10
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Son: β€œWhat crime would I be charged with if I broke into the Capitol and planted a forest?”

Dad: β€œWell I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReaperWright88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

πŸ‘︎ 21k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the bear leave the forest he was living in?

Because it was unbearable to live there anymore...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alexgen9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires

because if they did the tents would be in a across fire

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chairlegnumber4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I was out hunting in the forest with my shotgun...

... and stumbled across a naked woman. She started flirting with me, so I asked her if she was game.

She replied yes, so I shot her.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?

Because it will dialogue.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.

Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anynamethatworks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the forest so noisy?

The tree’s bark.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said: β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 845
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"

The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A hunter went out into the forest

He went into the woods during a deep fog and saw a figure, so he shot...

He mist.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asadleafsfan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you rollerblade in a forest?

Because the floor is too sticky.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JediWithBenefits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s Forest Gump’s favorite kind of pasta?

Penne

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abuchunk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A young man wants to become a lumberjack, so he goes to the forest and starts chopping.

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximusMatrix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the lumberjack say after cutting down the whole forest?

β€œI’m stumped!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hypnocrates
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?

He used the toilet-trees.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/suamigojose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walking into a magic forest and chose a tree to chop down.

when he started swinging, the tree shouted, 'wait, wait! i'm a talking tree!' the lumberjack smiled and told him, 'and you will dialogue.'

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind forest creature?

No idear.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, β€œNO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack responded, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What crime did the forest commit?

Treeson

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/knittingmonster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What generation does Forest Gump belong to

Gen A

πŸ‘︎ 413
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/got_nohandz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Forest Gumps password

1Forest1

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

β€œYou can't cut me down,” the tree complains. β€œI’m a talking tree!”

The man responds, β€œYou may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Magic Forest

A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack laughed and said, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s forest gumps password

1forest1 (kill me)

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i-has-the-funnies
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned, β€œAnd you will dialogue!"

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What's Forest Gump's password?

1forest1

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ttocs77
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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