There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?

It's been logged out.

πŸ‘︎ 470
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πŸ‘€︎ u/World-Tight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Son: β€œWhat crime would I be charged with if I broke into the Capitol and planted a forest?”

Dad: β€œWell I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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Why did the bear leave the forest he was living in?

Because it was unbearable to live there anymore...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexgen9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

β€œYou can't cut me down,” the tree complains. β€œI’m a talking tree!”

The man responds, β€œYou may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What is Forest Gumps password

1Forest1

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What generation does Forest Gump belong to

Gen A

πŸ‘︎ 414
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πŸ‘€︎ u/got_nohandz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires

because if they did the tents would be in a across fire

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chairlegnumber4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReaperWright88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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I was out hunting in the forest with my shotgun...

... and stumbled across a naked woman. She started flirting with me, so I asked her if she was game.

She replied yes, so I shot her.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?

Because it will dialogue.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.

Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anynamethatworks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"

The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting /r/Jokes/comments/iya4l4/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProCreeper_2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

πŸ‘︎ 21k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A hunter went out into the forest

He went into the woods during a deep fog and saw a figure, so he shot...

He mist.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asadleafsfan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the forest so noisy?

The tree’s bark.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s Forest Gump’s favorite kind of pasta?

Penne

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abuchunk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you rollerblade in a forest?

Because the floor is too sticky.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediWithBenefits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?

He used the toilet-trees.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suamigojose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s forest gumps password

1forest1 (kill me)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-has-the-funnies
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Magic Forest

A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack laughed and said, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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A lumberjack walking into a magic forest and chose a tree to chop down.

when he started swinging, the tree shouted, 'wait, wait! i'm a talking tree!' the lumberjack smiled and told him, 'and you will dialogue.'

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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What did the lumberjack say after cutting down the whole forest?

β€œI’m stumped!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hypnocrates
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said: β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 843
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A young man wants to become a lumberjack, so he goes to the forest and starts chopping.

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximusMatrix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Forest Gump's password?

1forest1

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ttocs77
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind forest creature?

No idear.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, β€œNO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack responded, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a crazy person walk through a forest?

He takes the psychopath

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A boat builder was showing his son one of his forests

he turned to him and said "son, one day this will all be oars."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtwilson32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What crime did the forest commit?

Treeson

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knittingmonster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it...

... then my illegal logging operation is a great success.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If you chop down a tree in the forest, but it doesn't understand why you cut it down

Do you think its stumped

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LtLama1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Three plants were fucking each other in the forest

They were having a treesome

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fakipo2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it's stumped?
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What's funnier mountain ranges or forest? /r/Jokes/comments/f26a8s/…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaio-renwar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a forest at a funeral?

Mourning wood

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmbossman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?

1forest1

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned, β€œAnd you will dialogue!"

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
A young man wants to become a lumberjack, so he goes to the forest and starts chopping.

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximusMatrix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 285
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silentknight1991
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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