Why do the British like acquiring new land?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
This is where getting high everyday will land you.
π︎ 168
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Since the start of the Covid outbreak I own the quietest bar in the land....
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 18 2021
The nation of Iran lies between the ancient lands of Babylon to the west and the mountains of Afghanistan to the east...
In other words, itβs between Iraq and a hard place.
π︎ 19
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︎ Dec 20 2020
What's the best ride in Candy Land?
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 18 2020
How do farmers measure land?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 27 2020
What do you call a plane that always lands rough?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Old Farmer: If you want your crops to grow, you must remember to fertilize your land properly.
New guy: That sounds like bullshit.
Farmer: Yes, exactly.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 17 2020
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
π︎ 19
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What do you call a large land mass that uncontrollably leaks into the ocean?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 01 2020
What sound does a 747 make when it crash lands ?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Does this make Switzerland the Holy Land?
π︎ 17
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︎ Oct 19 2020
THE LAND MINE WAS A....
GROUND BREAKING DISCOVERY
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 20 2020
A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked βwhat happens if the ball lands in the houseβ
The dad said βitβs a home-in-oneβ
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 14 2020
If a highly skilled bird lands on your fatherβs sweater...
Thatβs a pro sparrow on your fleecy dad. Looking forward to a happy 2021!
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich?
Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 06 2020
90 percent of my jokes don't land...
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Why did the Egyptian man wrongfully insist that he was still on land?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 30 2020
A company started selling land mines disguised as prayer mats...
The prophets were through the roof!
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Hurricane Marco is headed towards land
Hurricane polo is nowhere in sight
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Why was it so easy to see the aircraft on the grass lands?
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 08 2020
(1) What type of airplane bounces back up when it crash lands?
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
What does a pirate drive on land?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 29 2020
I was going to grow my own tabacco for smoking, but I don't have enough land.
I guess it's just a pipe dream.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
The government is finally allowing Lego Land to reopen...
...kids are lining up for blocks.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
What do you call a large land animal that doesnβt matter?
π︎ 15
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Gave my wife a dart and a map, "once this is over, I'll take you anywhere this lands"...
I guess we're going behind the fridge for two weeks!
π︎ 39
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︎ Mar 30 2020
A queen went travelling to a foreign land. She asked her two ladies in waiting to clean for each other while she was gone, so they wouldn't be out of practice when she got back. When she returned, the two had fallen in love and gotten married.
They were maid for each other.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
What should be the 2017 Oscars La la Land - Moonlight controversy renamed as?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 14 2020
My friend asked if I could explain what the land beside the sea was.
π︎ 14
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︎ Apr 16 2020
This is where getting high every day will land you
π︎ 36
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︎ Dec 24 2019
Some people say the land North of Texas is pretty rough
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 30 2019
What does a white man say when he gets more land?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 24 2020
What happened to the guy that sold land mines shaped like prayer maps?
The prophets were through the roof
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 08 2019
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Why was the miner so determined to complete digging on a second plot of land?
Because he had one tract mined.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 29 2020
Could the Uyghurs expand throughout the vast lands of Eurasia?
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 04 2020
A family drove to Disney Land, but they turned back and drove away
Because they saw the sign, "Disney Land left"
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 17 2020
La La Land
https://preview.redd.it/vqrhmb5n0p041.png?width=1508&format=png&auto=webp&s=0014f34cd14db921a6d037b7f7d1801d888a15de
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 24 2019
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 03 2020
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