There once was a beautiful, snowy kingdom.

It was ruled by a fair king who joyfully ruled his land. Unfortunately, the kingdom was also home to a wicked thief who loved nothing more than causing mayhem for all the inhabitants of the land.

However, the thief was not your ordinary thief. He only stole bells. Any kind of bell, whether a tiny bell from a kitten’s collar, all the way up to the bell from the king’s royal bell tower.

When the king awoke one morning, the bell tower’s bell was missing. The king, being brave and noble, decided to follow the thief back to his lair. He chose four of his most loyal soldiers, mounted his horse, and rode off into the snowy woods, following the footprints left behind on the ground.

Soon, he and his soldiers arrived to a clearing in the woods. In front of them was a large, bell-shaped building. They found the thief’s lair!Pointing to the recent tracks left in the snow by the thief, the king announced to the soldiers,

β€œLook! The Fresh Prints to Bell Lair!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit_reddit03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
And Jesus said "come forth and win the kingdom of heaven!"

But I came 5th and won a teapot.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the kings and queens of the beverage kingdom?

The Royaltea

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Currently in the process of uniting a kingdom
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AyalaST
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the largest superlative of the animal kingdom?

Elephantastic

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HallaienHelge
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between the United States and United Kingdom

One word

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A limb, a limb, my kingdom for a limb
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grenadier_Hanz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A king sat on his throne in his beautiful kingdom. Before him were three glasses set on a table. The first two are filled with water, but the third one is empty. What is the name of the king?

Phillip the 3rd

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/some-tortel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom?

Dam right they are.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A KING WHO PROVIDES FREE ELECTRICITY TO HIS KINGDOM...

IS AN AMPERERER

πŸ‘︎ 231
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSwastik
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?

Because it would defeat the porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Eat_Comma_Dogs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m the animal kingdom, it’s considered a heinous crime for a malaria-infected mosquito to bite.

The insect police force was tracking one of these malaria-mosquitos, when the mosquito fled to a farm. First, she tried to hide in the house, until the farmer chased her away with a newspaper. She tried to hide in the barn with the horses, but the barn cat took a few swipes at the mosquito, and chased it from the barn.

Finally, the mosquito set eyes on sheep in the pasture.she decided all that thick wool would be the perfect place to hide from the insect police force.

The police force arrived shortly after. They first went to the house. No mosquito. They searched the horses. No mosquito. Finally, they got to the pasture with the sheep. After searching and searching, they could not find where the mosquito had hidden.

The mosquito was on the lamb.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadfullyBIzzy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the most religious animal in the animal kingdom?

The mantis, because they are always praying.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
News channels when Boris Johnson visits the Queen of the United Kingdom...

Queen receives BJ

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When kingdoms fought in the middle ages

They were playing for keeps.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Where In the animal kingdom do you go to get stuff opened?

Crow-bars

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How do the people of the 7 kingdoms pay for their coffee?

With their starbucks

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom do when she wants to make a hard copy of the monologue she will deliver at her inauguration?

She prints-a-speech.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fnnythe3hd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2016
🚨︎ report
A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMakeItAllUp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
If the Animal Kingdom was a dictatorship, why would a cow be named ruler?

Because cows have udder control.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cobbywriter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats the most sexually active animal in the animal kingdom?

a rhino because its horny

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flickrfrog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Giraffes have something that no other animals in the animal kingdom have. Do you know what that is?

Baby Giraffes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gambotron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do they put you when you're arrested in the Chocolate Kingdom?

Behind Fudge Bars

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SopwithStrutter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Of the entire animal kingdom, I'd have to say my favorite

Is steak... medium with just a little pink inside. With a salad is nice too. And potato with butter. Mmmm... love those steaks, roaming wild on the Savannah.

Sorry. Got distracted.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a kingdom ruled by grass?

A lawnarchy

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/projectimperfect
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2016
🚨︎ report
The Three Kingdoms

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sirmonkey95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Look, Simba. Everything the little fluffy bits touch is our kingdom.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0xFFF1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2015
🚨︎ report
How did the wise king of the cats bring peace to his warring kingdom?

He said: "Me-oww. You-oww. We-oww... NoMoOwe"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marlinspike
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
🚨︎ report
WWE decided to stop John Cena pay-per-view events in the United Kingdom.

Because when John Cena visits UK, EU can't see him.

Ba dum tss

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebadconsultant
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2016
🚨︎ report
My house is my kingdom. I always have the final word.

right honey?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KokishinNeko
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call the kings and queens of the coffee kingdom?

The Royaltea

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.