Good way to land yourself in jail
Banker: sir, why is your land deed covered in... grease???
Why do the British like acquiring new land?
Just had about a dozen crows land in a tree near me
I'm getting real sick of this Corvid pandemic.
Why did the Jewish pilot refuse to land at the airport?
This is where getting high everyday will land you.
The nation of Iran lies between the ancient lands of Babylon to the west and the mountains of Afghanistan to the east...
In other words, it’s between Iraq and a hard place.
Since the start of the Covid outbreak I own the quietest bar in the land....
What's the best ride in Candy Land?
How do farmers measure land?
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
What do you call a plane that always lands rough?
Old Farmer: If you want your crops to grow, you must remember to fertilize your land properly.
New guy: That sounds like bullshit.
Farmer: Yes, exactly.
Does this make Switzerland the Holy Land?
What do you call a large land mass that uncontrollably leaks into the ocean?
What sound does a 747 make when it crash lands ?
A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked “what happens if the ball lands in the house”
The dad said “it’s a home-in-one”
THE LAND MINE WAS A....
GROUND BREAKING DISCOVERY
If a highly skilled bird lands on your father’s sweater...
That’s a pro sparrow on your fleecy dad. Looking forward to a happy 2021!
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
90 percent of my jokes don't land...
Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich?
Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah
Why did the Egyptian man wrongfully insist that he was still on land?
A company started selling land mines disguised as prayer mats...
The prophets were through the roof!
Hurricane Marco is headed towards land
Hurricane polo is nowhere in sight
(1) What type of airplane bounces back up when it crash lands?
Why was it so easy to see the aircraft on the grass lands?
What does a pirate drive on land?
I was going to grow my own tabacco for smoking, but I don't have enough land.
I guess it's just a pipe dream.
Gave my wife a dart and a map, "once this is over, I'll take you anywhere this lands"...
I guess we're going behind the fridge for two weeks!
The government is finally allowing Lego Land to reopen...
...kids are lining up for blocks.
What do you call a large land animal that doesn’t matter?
A queen went travelling to a foreign land. She asked her two ladies in waiting to clean for each other while she was gone, so they wouldn't be out of practice when she got back. When she returned, the two had fallen in love and gotten married.
They were maid for each other.
What should be the 2017 Oscars La la Land - Moonlight controversy renamed as?
My friend asked if I could explain what the land beside the sea was.
This is where getting high every day will land you
Some people say the land North of Texas is pretty rough
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.