My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.

I replied back: β€œSure, my door is always open.”

πŸ‘︎ 21k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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So I was in my room and I saw a group of ten ants just running around frantically. I felt badly for them so I made a small house for them. out of a cardboard box. This technically makes me their landlord and they are my....

Tenants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomicheart99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow

It was our last warming.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Hippie gets 3 months late on rent...So the landlord knocks on his door to let him know he’s being evicted

He opens the door and tells him β€œNamaste”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boobaloo222
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I complained to the landlord about having 10 insects in the flat... He said it's the previous tenant's fault.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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The envelope to our landlord with rent cheques
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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My landlord has been telling me he feels inadequate lately...

I wonder if he has a complex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zwirt2
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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My landlord keeps yelling at me for not turning down the music in my apartment

I guess he’s got a sound argument.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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My landlord kicked me out, so I dumped my old food on his lawn.

To the evictor go the spoils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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My Landlord Today

[via text message]

Me: The new fridge is in, and we're good to go! Thanks!

Landlord: Cool (get it????)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bighootay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
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How many bugs does it take to become a landlord?

Ten ants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2017
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One of my worst enemies is now my landlord

You can say our relationship went from feuding to feudal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2016
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Why do landlords like to rent their storefronts to Chinese restaurants?

Because they're lo mein tenants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/commisaro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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I said "my landlord is really turning the building around."

Friends dad: "How is she doing that? How is she going to make the front of the building the back?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2013
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Landlord gave a good one

While fixing a hose at my house, the landlord said, "In order to keep water from running on the wall, you need a shower curtain on the back to...CURTail any leakage."

We both mentally high fived each other, as his wife rolled her eyes.

Ninja Edit: We have an old style tub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pro_magnum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2015
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Dadjoked my new landlord today. (Potty humor within)

"I got a new toilet topper for you guys so you can put your shit in it!" "I usually just put my shit in the toilet!" Let's just say we got off on the right foot. Then the left. Also should add im 18 years old and this surprised my two best friends at the landlady.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiseryAd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
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Got my landlord twice last night.

Landlord: Yeah, he's Indonesian.

Me: That's cool, I'm more IndoJapanese.

(whoosh)

Landlord: Do you know why he named his son 'Timmy'?

Me: No, why?

Landlord: He said he had a dream.

Me: Then he should have named him Martin.

Landlord: Why are you laughing like that?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darthob
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2014
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Landlord hit me with this one today on his way out the door.

Me: Ugh, I'm bored.

Landlord: Nice to meet you bored, I'm Landlord.

Me: groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morendur
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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My dad "flipped the bird" to our business property landlord

Our cat at our small business killed a bird and left it in the floor. My dad grabbed it and tossed it out the front door onto the parking lot. I then asked him to toss it over the fence into our landlords unkempt field. The following text convo happened several hours later.

http://i.imgur.com/uOLsC46.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShawnBoo
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.

I told him, "My door is always open".

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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I made a small house with a cardboard box for the group of 10 ants running around in my room. Technically, I am now their landlord and they are my...

Tenants.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sadchowmrade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I was in my room and saw 10 ants running frantically. I felt bad for them, so I built a house for them. This kinda makes me their landlord and that kinda makes them my...

Tenants

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevonthe2nd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.

I told him, 'My door is always open!'

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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My landlord wants to talk to me about my high heating bills every month.

I said, β€œSure. My door is always open.”

πŸ‘︎ 336
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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My landlord wanted to talk to me about how high my heating bills are.

I said, β€œSure. My door is always open.”

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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My landlord has been telling me that he is feeling pretty inadequate lately.

I wonder if he has a complex.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karpish_the_smol
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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