property owners gone festive!
What did Mariah Carey say when her boyfriend bought her an undeveloped property so they could build their dream house?
I don’t want a lot for Christmas.
Why Isnt Ejaculation Allowed On School Property
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
My brother just made a really good investment on a property
What’s the saying for when your protein powder gets spilled on your legal documents which divide all of your property after death?
Where there’s a will, there’s a whey.
There’s a reason why pilots don’t buy beachside property.
Did you know it was against the law to let your long hair to cross over into someone else's property?
Yeah, that is called tress-passing.
(Especially when your neighbor stresses over your tresses.)
You know what would be funny? A large group of people protesting, getting into fights with police and destroying property.
My friend discovered and claimed 15 ore veins as his property...
I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.
My neighbor is dead against it.
What does the Property Brothers’ dog specialize in?
My neighbor tried to wager money on whether I could jump the row of bushes between our properties...
But I don't like to hedge my bets.
Hugh Hefner kicked some monks off his property today
The monks were selling flowers in front of the playboy mention when they were kicked out. When asked about it, the monk replied “if it was anybody else we would have gotten away with it, but only Hugh can prevent florist friars”
Vincent's property buying Uncle Donot Pass Gogh.
My bisexual friend owns two properties
I thought I'd show off a section of our remote property. It's just a click away.
I have 2 part-time jobs. For one, I put sodas into aluminum containers. For the other, I document a person's desires regarding what happens to their property after death
A cowboy counted 48 horses on his property, but when he rounded them up...
My dad likes to sit in his front yard chasing kids off his property...
...Like some Lawn Enforcement Officer.
Dad: I have a lot of blind deer on my property.
Son: Really? How do you know they're blind?
Dad: Well, I have no eyed deer.
What do you call an alloy of Fe and Ni which doesn't have magnetic properties ? IRONICAL
The thermodynamic properties of water is just amazing
That’s why ice is so cool
What do you call beachfront property that is owned by a cow?
I thought about getting a robot to mow our garden, but it is a huge property.
I’m afraid that won’t cut it.
A man was in court against another man who had trespassed on his property while freshly laid asphalt was drying, leaving a footprint.
For some reason, the judge was in favor of the trespasser.
The man slammed his hand down on the table. “But I have concrete proof!”
Is it okay to peek into your neighbor’s house if you are still technically in your own property?
Personally I’m on the fence.
My depressed Italian buddy got into property development.
Now he's in a real estate.
How do you call a spanish guy crossing your property?
^((i am so sorry, alexa play despacito))
Scientists have discovered an element with chemical properties that can't be predicted.
They're calling it the element of surprise.
I am become shovel, destroyer of public property
Why is the English common law so concerned with property rights?
Because the English gentry insisted on proper tea rites every afternoon.
I read that the Stonehenge stones have musical properties...
This gives a whole new meaning to rock music.
I never really met my neighbors until they tried to sue me over the ownership of some property.
Turns out we had a lot in common...
What does a Frenchman tell an egg that's trespassing on his property?
Get œuf my yard.
Œuf if French for egg.
My wife asked me what to do about renting a property to a couple who own a cat.
I shrugged and said, I dunno, urine charge...
Do you know why I allowed a police station to be built on my property out in the Styx?
Cause I've got too much crime on my lands.
How do pirates denote their intellectual properties?
A friend has deer using her property as a breeding ground. Some people would be mad, but cut them some slack. After all...
...they're just trying to make a buck.
My kids think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil...
Because all of their presents came from Amazon last year.
My dad is a trainer. In one of his training session, during introduction, a guy introduced himself and said, "I am in properties"(referring to his business).
Dad replied,"Wonderful! I am in properties as well."
"How", the guy asked.
Dad said, "What do you call a 1 BHK apartment? A property. Right?"
"I live in a 4 BHK."
The guy stood up and left the room.
My dad "flipped the bird" to our business property landlord
Our cat at our small business killed a bird and left it in the floor. My dad grabbed it and tossed it out the front door onto the parking lot. I then asked him to toss it over the fence into our landlords unkempt field. The following text convo happened several hours later.
I built an electric tence around my property yesterday.
My neighbour is dead against it.
I put an electric fence up on my property.
My neighbor is dead against it.
What do you call bovine-owned beachfront property?