property owners gone festive!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 606
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hotdamnitsolivia
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did Mariah Carey say when her boyfriend bought her an undeveloped property so they could build their dream house?

I donโ€™t want a lot for Christmas.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jayrandomer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why Isnt Ejaculation Allowed On School Property

Because it goes 27 mph.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Puberty2or3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.

Sir Veyor

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bombsaway1083
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My brother just made a really good investment on a property

It's a wise acre

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SeNoR_LoCo_PoCo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s the saying for when your protein powder gets spilled on your legal documents which divide all of your property after death?

Where thereโ€™s a will, thereโ€™s a whey.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Shadowlast
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Thereโ€™s a reason why pilots donโ€™t buy beachside property.

Too low terrain.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jlionbad
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you know it was against the law to let your long hair to cross over into someone else's property?

Yeah, that is called tress-passing.

(Especially when your neighbor stresses over your tresses.)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spotted_Lady
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You know what would be funny? A large group of people protesting, getting into fights with police and destroying property.

It would be a riot!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/flumanchu
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend discovered and claimed 15 ore veins as his property...

He was loded!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.

My neighbor is dead against it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 117
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/khanglikestowin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does the Property Brothersโ€™ dog specialize in?

Roofing

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AJohns9316
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My neighbor tried to wager money on whether I could jump the row of bushes between our properties...

But I don't like to hedge my bets.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Hugh Hefner kicked some monks off his property today

The monks were selling flowers in front of the playboy mention when they were kicked out. When asked about it, the monk replied โ€œif it was anybody else we would have gotten away with it, but only Hugh can prevent florist friarsโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BirdOfPrey37
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Vincent's property buying Uncle Donot Pass Gogh.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GatmanBegins
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My bisexual friend owns two properties

He covers both bases

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mortalily
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I thought I'd show off a section of our remote property. It's just a click away.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/elarandra
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I have 2 part-time jobs. For one, I put sodas into aluminum containers. For the other, I document a person's desires regarding what happens to their property after death

I can and I will.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A cowboy counted 48 horses on his property, but when he rounded them up...

he had 50.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/phillydog1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad likes to sit in his front yard chasing kids off his property...

...Like some Lawn Enforcement Officer.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 54
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Toberoni
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Dad: I have a lot of blind deer on my property.

Son: Really? How do you know they're blind?

Dad: Well, I have no eyed deer.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_Pebcak_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call an alloy of Fe and Ni which doesn't have magnetic properties ? IRONICAL
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/indian_potato
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I built an electric tence around my property yesterday.

My neighbour is dead against it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/simplyGagi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I put an electric fence up on my property.

My neighbor is dead against it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The_Nightman_82
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The thermodynamic properties of water is just amazing

Thatโ€™s why ice is so cool

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MartinBirk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call beachfront property that is owned by a cow?

Prime Veal Es-steak

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/melon_lawd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I thought about getting a robot to mow our garden, but it is a huge property.

Iโ€™m afraid that wonโ€™t cut it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pixelbert
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man was in court against another man who had trespassed on his property while freshly laid asphalt was drying, leaving a footprint.

For some reason, the judge was in favor of the trespasser.

The man slammed his hand down on the table. โ€œBut I have concrete proof!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Majikin__
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call bovine-owned beachfront property?

Prime Veal Es-Steak

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/melon_lawd
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Is it okay to peek into your neighborโ€™s house if you are still technically in your own property?

Personally Iโ€™m on the fence.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My depressed Italian buddy got into property development.

Now he's in a real estate.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you call a spanish guy crossing your property?

Trespassito

^((i am so sorry, alexa play despacito))

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mategi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Scientists have discovered an element with chemical properties that can't be predicted.

They're calling it the element of surprise.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sric2838
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I am become shovel, destroyer of public property
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/conditackler
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why is the English common law so concerned with property rights?

Because the English gentry insisted on proper tea rites every afternoon.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/adityakr082
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I read that the Stonehenge stones have musical properties...

This gives a whole new meaning to rock music.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WhoWhyWhatWhenWhere
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I never really met my neighbors until they tried to sue me over the ownership of some property.

Turns out we had a lot in common...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Newt24
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a Frenchman tell an egg that's trespassing on his property?

Get ล“uf my yard.

Explanation:

ล’uf if French for egg.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bcmwolverine
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife asked me what to do about renting a property to a couple who own a cat.

I shrugged and said, I dunno, urine charge...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mindsound
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Do you know why I allowed a police station to be built on my property out in the Styx?

Cause I've got too much crime on my lands.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/phat1369
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do pirates denote their intellectual properties?

ยฎ

๐Ÿ‘︎ 91
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mr_Tengu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A friend has deer using her property as a breeding ground. Some people would be mad, but cut them some slack. After all...

...they're just trying to make a buck.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/confibulator
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My kids think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil...

Because all of their presents came from Amazon last year.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 13 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Properties!

My dad is a trainer. In one of his training session, during introduction, a guy introduced himself and said, "I am in properties"(referring to his business). Dad replied,"Wonderful! I am in properties as well." "How", the guy asked. Dad said, "What do you call a 1 BHK apartment? A property. Right?" "I live in a 4 BHK." The guy stood up and left the room.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SitaRum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad "flipped the bird" to our business property landlord

Our cat at our small business killed a bird and left it in the floor. My dad grabbed it and tossed it out the front door onto the parking lot. I then asked him to toss it over the fence into our landlords unkempt field. The following text convo happened several hours later.

http://i.imgur.com/uOLsC46.jpg

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShawnBoo
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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