My friend asked me how the text-to-speech feature works on his phone, but I didn't bother explaining it to him.

It speaks for itself.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
What geological feature has the deepest sense of humour?

sarchasm

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/Beebeebobo
📅︎ Jun 08
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Has anyone heard about the new feature on computers to pander toward the newer generation?

It's called Ctrl-ALT-YEET.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/TrueDitty
📅︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Two domestic abusers, very similar features...

A striking resemblance.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jan 11
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My eyes really are my best feature.

If you took them away, I couldn't even look at myself.

👍︎ 21
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👤︎ u/massivevivid
📅︎ Dec 27 2019
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My girlfriend just can't resist swimming in those water features outside of Japanese restaurants.

She just loves playing Koi.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/Elnateo
📅︎ Jun 21 2019
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I couldn’t figure out how to use the average feature on Excel

Now all my data is meaningless

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/lewtree5
📅︎ Aug 12 2019
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As a cartographer, I'm used to adding terrain features to maps.

But when it comes to establishing a boundary, that's where I draw the line.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/whudaboutit
📅︎ Jul 12 2019
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Why haven't we seen companies like Subaru with their safety features talk about their models next year having 2020 vision?

Since all model years are released a year early, they have a chance to start talking about it now.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/Subsum44
📅︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How many arrays do you give a software engineer for finishing a feature?

Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array!

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/rine117
📅︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
When a bear shops for a new family car, some features are a must-have.

For instance it needs to have adequate cub holders.

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
📅︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I travel around the country giving seminars on the beneficial features of dried grapes.

I’m in the business of raisin awareness.

👍︎ 113
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I guess that means it's a feature
👍︎ 450
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👤︎ u/Asmor
📅︎ May 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Hello! I thought that maybe some of you lovely punny people might want to support my enamel pin kickstarter as they feature these pun-tastic grumpy woodland animals 😄 I’ll put the link in the comments
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📅︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Detective movies often feature pretzels in them.

They both have a lot of twists.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/Pun-isher42
📅︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was hoping to buy a new car but I was after decent onboard storage so after the salesman specified lots of features about it, I asked "Cargo space?"

He replied "Car no do that, car no fly"

👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/LordJimsicle
📅︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
This feature seems to be working properly.
👍︎ 194
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📅︎ Oct 20 2016
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Why won't I ever make a water feature on top of a hill where a lot of baby horses are buried?

My mom taught me to never make fountains out of foal hills

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/geckothegeek42
📅︎ Apr 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Messing with the new messenger features.
👍︎ 144
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👤︎ u/cycleangelo
📅︎ Dec 22 2015
🚨︎ report
My job is to put dents into new cars to test their safety features.

Needless to say, the job is very depressing.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/Mr_Industrial
📅︎ Jun 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Look at those chiseled features!
👍︎ 42
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👤︎ u/tlddlttlddlt
📅︎ Jul 21 2013
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My wife is expecting in March so in preparation, I have been working on my dad jokes. She was just thinking about whose features will be more dominant when our little one arrives. She then asked me whose genes were stronger.

I said "probably Lee or Levis." I laughed for about 5 minutes.

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/mmoffitt15
📅︎ Jan 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Looking for Minecraft-based puns for a server name. Anything to do with mining, blocks, or any feature of Minecraft helps!

A friend of mine started a server recently and we're trying to brainstorm ideas for names for our server. Puns are always the right way to go. As long as it's not taken already and the .com or .org is available, anything is fair game! Thanks in advance. :)

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/terminavelocity
📅︎ Mar 15 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad found a new messaging feature

http://i.imgur.com/BY15Jd0.png

(posted this to /r/funny about a month ago but it got removed)

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/somehobo606
📅︎ Jan 15 2016
🚨︎ report

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