I've been throwing bear puns at my partner all day but finally had to stop

They were going into Kodiak arrest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Giftzahn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Bear puns. Help?

Hello all, what are some good bear puns/punny jokes, aside from the unbearable?

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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there is a serious lack of possible bear puns, can any of you think of more?

The problem with bears as a pun topic is that there are only 6 possible puns and most of them are stretches.

  1. bear double meaning with tolerate

  2. pandanother thing

  3. grizzly double meaning with horrific

4)kodiak double meaning with camera

5)koalalifications

6)and Ursidae the family classification can be shortened to sound like ursa and be used instead of "or so" like in the phrase "or so i was told".

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2012
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Check out this new subreddit, made for entirely bear puns reddit.com/r/unbearable
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoyBoi69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
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Polar Bear Pun Joke; YouTube channel just about Puns youtube.com/watch?v=TCxoV…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infiniteknight32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2013
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I accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked..

Now, it can ride a bike without stabilisers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What do you call a bear with no ear?

B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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What do you call a bear without an ear?

B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MudComplete
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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What’s the best way to trap a polar bear?

First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!

(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megsie72
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Which bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"

Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carr3iroh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a rum..............and coke."

"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smarzz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Why dont bears wear socks?

Because they have bear feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icanhazsalvation
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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How did the polar bear catch a penguin?

Because it was bipolar...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twozon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What do you call bears with no ears?

B

Edit: Thank you for hugz!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtfiction
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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My #1 Concern with my Bear Ranch is...

things could get grizzly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drlolbl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Courtesy of my wife: what’s the bear minimum?

One bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andremamola810
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Why did the bear leave the forest he was living in?

Because it was unbearable to live there anymore...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexgen9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Goldilocks, running from the 3 bears, finds herself in a dead end with nothing but a bag of ice. Papa bear is Drunk and scary. What happens next?

A Goldy-smack with a cold sack in a cul de sac, which is more than a bear with beer could bare.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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What does a polar bear eat

An ice burger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoto798
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What's a bear with no Teeth?

A gummy bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OWPMadRuski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Gummy Bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B33_H1V3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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A big bear goes into a bar and slaps down a $20 bill and says to the bartender,"give me a gin and................tonic"

The bartender replies, "Why the big paws?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What do you call a bear that's missing its ear?

b.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.

It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Why are pictures of Polar Bears always so powerful?

Because they're on polar roids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadsreal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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A bear walks into a bar

He orders a large coke......... and a rum. The Bartender says, β€œhey, why the big pause”. The bear says β€œI don’t know, I was born with them”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trexinator1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed his tooth?

The dentist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EcksMarksDespot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.

wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SocialPerformer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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A bear goes to the bar and says "can I get one whiskey..................and one coke"

The bartender asked "why the big pause"

The bear replies "I was born with them"

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillRespectively1
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What kind of bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thrillhouse74
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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What do you call a bear without teeth?

A Gummy Bear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedWing_16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.

How do you kill a blue elephant? (How?) With a blue elephant gun.

How you you kill a pink elephant? (With a pink elephant gun?) No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? (No clue...?) So they can hide in cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (Of course not) Then clearly it works

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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How do you cook a bear?

With bearnaise sauce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I made a bear-y adorable pin badge <3 v.redd.it/z9vizkn75hv51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/outrunbun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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What kind of cheese do you attract a bear with?

Camembert

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldbayfries
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Why do bears never get lost?

Because they always have their bearings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marine1992
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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What do you call a bear without ears?

b

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-dildo-king
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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The bear couldn't decide whether to go north or south for the winter

He was a bipolar bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Which Marvel superhero is Fozzy Bear's favorite?

Black Panther.

Waka-waka-wakanda forever!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ptshoink
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What do bears call people in sleeping bags?

Bearritos.

This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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How does Fozzy the Bear cook his food?

In a Wok-a Wok-a Wok-a

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravendemyseri
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I just ate a burger made out of bear meat

It was very gristly.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vwraider
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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What bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McCarty_Bedell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What do you call a bear with no ear?

B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeafbadger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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