I've been throwing bear puns at my partner all day but finally had to stop
They were going into Kodiak arrest
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Bear puns. Help?
Hello all, what are some good bear puns/punny jokes, aside from the unbearable?
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︎ Aug 18 2018
there is a serious lack of possible bear puns, can any of you think of more?
The problem with bears as a pun topic is that there are only 6 possible puns and most of them are stretches.
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bear double meaning with tolerate
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pandanother thing
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grizzly double meaning with horrific
4)kodiak double meaning with camera
5)koalalifications
6)and Ursidae the family classification can be shortened to sound like ursa and be used instead of "or so" like in the phrase "or so i was told".
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︎ Sep 28 2012
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︎ Jun 06 2016
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︎ Sep 05 2013
I accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked..
Now, it can ride a bike without stabilisers.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What do you call a bear with no ear?
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︎ Dec 29 2020
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, βDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?β In my best bear voice, I replied...
βNo thanks, Iβm stuffed!"
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Whatβs the best way to trap a polar bear?
First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!
(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Which bear is the most condescending?
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
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︎ Dec 17 2020
A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a rum..............and coke."
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them"
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Why dont bears wear socks?
Because they have bear feet.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
How did the polar bear catch a penguin?
Because it was bipolar...
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︎ Dec 25 2020
What do you call bears with no ears?
B
Edit: Thank you for hugz!
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︎ Nov 10 2020
My #1 Concern with my Bear Ranch is...
things could get grizzly.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Courtesy of my wife: whatβs the bear minimum?
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Why did the bear leave the forest he was living in?
Because it was unbearable to live there anymore...
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Goldilocks, running from the 3 bears, finds herself in a dead end with nothing but a bag of ice. Papa bear is Drunk and scary. What happens next?
A Goldy-smack with a cold sack in a cul de sac, which is more than a bear with beer could bare.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
What does a polar bear eat
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What's a bear with no Teeth?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
A big bear goes into a bar and slaps down a $20 bill and says to the bartender,"give me a gin and................tonic"
The bartender replies, "Why the big paws?"
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︎ Dec 15 2020
To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.
Itβs also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Why are pictures of Polar Bears always so powerful?
Because they're on polar roids.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed his tooth?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
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︎ Apr 25 2020
A bear goes to the bar and says "can I get one whiskey..................and one coke"
The bartender asked "why the big pause"
The bear replies "I was born with them"
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︎ May 03 2020
This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
(How?)
With a blue elephant gun.
How you you kill a pink elephant?
(With a pink elephant gun?)
No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
(No clue...?)
So they can hide in cherry trees
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
(Of course not)
Then clearly it works
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︎ Oct 22 2020
What kind of cheese do you attract a bear with?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
How do you cook a bear?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Why do bears never get lost?
Because they always have their bearings.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
The bear couldn't decide whether to go north or south for the winter
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Which Marvel superhero is Fozzy Bear's favorite?
Black Panther.
Waka-waka-wakanda forever!
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?
Bearritos.
This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/
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︎ Oct 17 2020
How does Fozzy the Bear cook his food?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
I just ate a burger made out of bear meat
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︎ Oct 30 2020
What do you call a bear without an ear?
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︎ Dec 04 2020
What bear is the most condescending?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
What do you call a bear that's missing its ear?
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︎ Oct 15 2020
A bear walks into a bar
He orders a large coke......... and a rum. The Bartender says, βhey, why the big pauseβ. The bear says βI donβt know, I was born with themβ
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What kind of bear is the most condescending?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What do you call a bear without teeth?
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What do you call a bear with no ear?
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︎ Nov 21 2020
What do you call a bear without ears?
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︎ Oct 12 2020
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