Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
The waiter replies “Why the big pawse?”
“Because I’m a bear”
A drizzly bear.
...so they went home.
Another fish swam near the shore and cried, "WHY. WHY DID YOU EAT MY WIFE, SALMON ELLA?"
Because according to the 2nd amendment.....the hunter has the right to bear arms
How do you describe a desert with at least one grizzly in it? Bear - In
She is infringing on my right to bear arms.
The bartender asked "why the big pause"
The bear replies "I was born with them"
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
Except for a grizzly bear. That always kills you.
He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.
The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.
He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Hello all, what are some good bear puns/punny jokes, aside from the unbearable?
It was a grizzly scene, almost too much to bear.
The problem with bears as a pun topic is that there are only 6 possible puns and most of them are stretches.
bear double meaning with tolerate
grizzly double meaning with horrific
4)kodiak double meaning with camera
6)and Ursidae the family classification can be shortened to sound like ursa and be used instead of "or so" like in the phrase "or so i was told".
Said the man who killed a grizzly with bear hands.
Two naturalists spent the bulk of their lives studying bears in the Soviet Union. One was from Czechoslovakia and the other from Poland. When the USSR fell in December 1991 they were both old men, but they were excited about the prospect of finally getting the chance to study grizzlies in America. That following Spring they made arrangements to travel to Yellowstone to finally see the grizzlies.
When they arrived and informed the park rangers of their plan the rangers were alarmed, telling the scientists, "You can't go now. It's mating season, and the bears are very aggressive." But the former Soviets were insistent. "Please," they said, "We must go. We've waited our whole lives. We may never get another chance." Realizing the men couldn't be dissuaded, the rangers gave them a radio with instructions to report in with their location every day. The scientists set out, and for several days they reported dutifully that all was well.
On the third day, though, they failed to report in. Anxiously, the rangers sent out a search party to the scientists' last known location.
Unfortunately, the rangers discovered a bloody mess when they found the men's camp, and the tracks of two bears, a male and a female, leading off into the woods.
The rangers followed the tracks until suddenly they came upon the female grizzly, her muzzle still crimson with blood. They shot her and conducted an autopsy on the spot, sadly finding the remains of the Polish scientist inside her stomach.
"You know what this means, don't you?" said one ranger to the other. "Yes," the other replied, "The Czech is in the male."
I wonder, could even a grizzly bear it?
"There's no way you could take down a grizzly, they're too big." "Sure there is, I could do it with my bear hands." rolls eyes
Navigation system; 'Bare left after 300 yards'
Dad; Oh my God take cover, there's a massive grizzly bear on the left!'
We were in Central London.
Dad was talking on a Facebook event post about a cookout/party.
Dad: I'll probably have to get some bear and sodas.
Then another post, though he could have just edited the typo.
Dad: Beer, not bear. That would be pretty grizzly.
Made the comment after the movie that it was 'grizzly'. Followed it up by saying I 'bearly' made it thru the movie. I then apologized for the 'big paws' between my jokes.
There were audible groans by the couple walking out in front of us.
We all taste the same to a grizzly bear.
My family (Dad, Mom, Borther, and 2x sisters) was driving back to alberta after a trip to B.C, and my dad pulled this one..
Dad: Holy shit a bear!!
Dad: On the side of the road!
Dad: You don't see it?
Everyone else: No- oh..
we proceed to pass a billboard with a grizzly bear on it while my dad is laughing and doing the classic banging of the hands on the steering wheel
I was watching Wimbledon on the TV today and saw Bear Grylls with his wife in the audience. The commentator said "There's Bear Grylls with his wife Shara."
Me: "Shara... that's a bit of a weird name"
Mum: "Yeah, I heard that his kids have weird names aswell"
Me: "Really? What are their names?"
Mum: "Cub and Grizzly"
Trying to think these up has been unbearable
He sits down at the bar and says “Bartender i’d like a whiskey........................and coke”
“Sure thing” says the bartender “but, why the big pause”?
The bear puts his paws in the air and says “oh, I’ve had these all my life”.