Hopefully you guys will appreciate my Canada puns more than r/Jokes did

I tried telling some but they were having Nunavut.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada

is it a 34 degree murder in the US?

πŸ‘︎ 499
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FriezaAndHoushi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20
🚨︎ report
My sister didn't believe me when I told her I don't know who the Prime Minister of Canada is

It's Trudeau

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eventualmente
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
Why’s it called β€œCanada”?

Because when they were first asked to spell it, they said β€œC, eh. N, eh. D, eh”.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Advaldinho
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21
🚨︎ report
My friend wouldn't believe that Canada has a Prime Minster.

I told him it's Trudeau.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gubaxter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid

They give us Nickelback

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquireX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
What is Canada called when it fails at something?

Can'tada

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VoKai
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, someone asked me to make a joke about Canada

I’m sorry, I can’t think of anything

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
I was taking my children on a tour of the largest territory in Canada, but they kept acting up so I turned around and went home.

My wife was mad about it, but I don't care! I was having Nunavut!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doogasa34
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Canada’s new green initiative?

They’re replacing plastic water bottles with a Canada water.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lanman33
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
How did the Canadian’s come up with the name β€œCanada”?

There was a bunch of Canadians sitting around the table and one guy suggested they start naming letters their country name should contain. One person said β€œC, eh?” A second person said β€œN, eh?” A third person said β€œD, eh?”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
So what if I'm not part of a culturally similar indigenous peoples inhabiting the Arctic regions of Greenland, Canada and Alaska that speaks a language that is part of the Eskimo–Aleut family.

I could try harder to be, but I guess I'm just not Inuit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shumumazzu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
I just found out Canada isn’t real

Turns out it was all mapleleaf

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hzohn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Canada and Mexico have in common?

They have us in the middle.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lshawel
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Canada

You never seen territories in the news, I guess they want nunavut

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnuggSnuggs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
What was hockey called before it became popular in Canada?

Hock.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bukkakkemassacre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
You folks heard the one about Canada, eh?

They plan on buying Minnesota and calling it Canada B.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mavii_Nero_Mira
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the rumors about Canada’s Prime Minister?

You may think they’re fake, but they’re Trudeau

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/diebeatus1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
We imported a tree from Canada.

It's pretty oak, eh.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Thank god Canada’s not the global super power

Or we'd all be sorry

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/llMude13ll
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
At first i didn't believe the prime minister of Canada's wife had corona virus

But then someone told me it was trudeau.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sterrrage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?

Sasquatch-ewan

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BubsytheBobcat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
What is a threesome called in Canada?
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Capybananarama
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of liver disease in Canada?

Hepatitis Eh?

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cthutzpah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack.

Those damn mooselimbs.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone told me Yukon is the largest territory in Canada

But I'm having Nunavut.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Canada is planning a mission to the moon

We're calling our spaceship the Apollo-G.

πŸ‘︎ 173
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Canada

A Canadian man is told to write a paper on a letter, so he says

An "S," eh?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Canada wan't originally supposed to have a C in it's name

But then they wanted anada letter

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chuck_-_-_norris
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States?

Black Friday

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justainsel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What part of northern Canada is habitable?

Nunavut

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thats_Folked_Up
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
If the United States annexed all of Canada and multiplied it’s area by two, what would you get?

WSA

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shortordercook
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What would happen if Canada moved their Capital?

canadA.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/proborc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
You know Canada used to be spelled β€œCND”

But everyone kept getting confused because of all the eh’s

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur from Canada?

A Torontosaurus Rex!

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Canada’s favorite board game?

Sorry

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stingero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Canada..
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Athena123YT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I was thinking about eating wild animals in Canada.

Sometimes I think it is a big moose steak.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jgpitre
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Soon Canada will take over the world then you'll all be sorry
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mackaygeorge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear that they named Canada pulling letters out of a hat?

The person drawing them said, "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gavinwride
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My son convinced my sisters to sneak into Canada and start a garden.

It's his Alien Aunt Farm.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tsaot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HerEcomEdAtboI001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
You might not believe that today is Canada's 150th birthday.

It's Trudeau.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Seen in Canada.
πŸ‘︎ 284
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you spell Canada?

C-eh?-N-eh?-D-eh?.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goldraven
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
One day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.

And then we will all be sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 500
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Some people think Canada is run by someone who has no idea what he's doing.

It's Trudeau.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmotionallyPained
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Excess weight could soon be Canada’s second leading preventable cause of cancer, report says

It’s a heavy problem

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KfirLA
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
TIL about a bird that migrates from Canada to Jamaica each year, feeding on snakes over the winter

It's called a mongoose.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m currently in Montreal, Canada and just found this place across the street. I wonder if they serve Russian style poutines?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anniemay_13
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Canadas spy organization called?

CIEh?

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IntestineYarnball
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
'So you think you can dance Canada' missed a great opportunity to call themselves 'So you think you Canadance'
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheZenPsychopath
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.

As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "AcΓ‘, nada."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewer1056
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
In Canada, they use the more appropriate β€œB.C.E” instead of β€œB.C.”

It stands for β€œBefore Christ, Eh?”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Canada get it’s name

The leader of the country pull random letters and announced them first he drew a C so he said β€œC ey” then he drew a N so he said β€œN ey” then he drew a D so he said β€œD ey” and ever since then it’s been called Canada

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jasonthegoalie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Canada recently passed legislation that will ban keeping or breeding whales and dolphins in captivity

Guess you can say marineland has lost its porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Afraidcoast229
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
One day, Canada is going to take of the entire world....

Then you'll all be sorry...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Purtassium
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How do we find out who is the worst Dad joke guy in Canada?

Call Gary.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How did they come up with the spelling for β€˜Canada’ ?

So there was a C eh, and a N eh and then a D eh

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/im_a_mango
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
canada atm
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bibachah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Went to pick something up for my friends 25th whilst in Canada but I could only find cards with incomplete slogans..

I’m sure he’d be okay with a card that said β€˜Happy Birthd’, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badluckxam
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the story of how Canada was named?

Many years ago, all the elders came together to name their wonderful country. The elders argued for many days, and could not come to an agreement on the name. One brilliant elder came up with a great idea, they would put all the letters of the alphabet into a hat, pull them out, one at a time, and that's what the name of their new country would be.

Of course, the elder who came up with the idea was chosen to pull the letters out of the hat. Elder: C, eh. N, eh. D, eh

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reefay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend caught hypothermia while painting outdoor scenes in Northern Canada.

Everyone thinks he needed a second coat.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
One my friends is studying in New Zealand and her boyfriend is studying in Canada. I told this to someone and remarked on how romantic it would be for them to date on the International date line .
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hal_potter_seven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats TSA called in Canada?

TS-eh

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UserRedirected
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Canada has launched its own version of Jeopardy.

The answers have to be in the form of an apology.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
You might think I'm lying when I tell you Canada has a prime minister.

But it's Trudeau.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jerrysmith815
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If the U.S gave Oregon to Canada would they be organ donors
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ClaymoreG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
🚨︎ report
You might not believe that the prime minister of Canada has a French last name.

It's Trudeau.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Red-Dog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I flew home to Canada from Europe yesterday. I woke up this morning and said to my dad "my arms hurt. I'm not sure why. I feel like I worked out or something". Without skipping a beat, my dad:

"Huh. Must be from all that flying you did"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stepharachide
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard some salacious gossip about the prime minister of Canada

I don't think it's Trudeau

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
You know in Canada you don't have to fully spell out "we had" any more

Because they recently made "we'd" legal

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JEH39
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are ball-based sports illegal in Canada?

Because then it would be cannibalism.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My brother in law just moved to Canada

He can’t work until he gets his permanent residency.

My wife said, β€œmaybe he could move pianos for cash, under the table.”

Her dad said, β€œit’s hard enough moving pianos, hows he going to move them under a table?”

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unmentionable123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
In Canada, we are so progressive and accepting that even our highway is Trans.
πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/satanicbuttstuff
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
🚨︎ report
This Wednesday, pot is becoming legal here in Canada. For people ranking international travel destinations,

Canada should be high in your list of priorities.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife was yelling and upset with me that I couldn't figure out the exact route to her parents house in Canada from our place in Ohio.

I told her it was border line abuse.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnaEd64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
How did Canada get it's name?

They drew letters from a hat. "C. Eh? N. Eh? D. Eh?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
With the legalization of recreational marijuana in Canada...

A lot more people will be saying they have friends in high places.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Totemz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
50% of Canada is A

and its number 1 at being just north of America

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
If the US and Canada cant come to an agreement on NAFTA, we are in trouble. Transfer speeds are going to plummet

Without a US BC connection.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Glen_Chervin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Son, have I ever told you the story of how Canada got it's name?

First, someone said,

"I think it should have a C, eh?"

Then another guy said,

"I think it should have an N, eh?"

Then a third guy said,

"I think it should have a D, eh?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cleetus12
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
🚨︎ report
In Canada the mountains aren’t just funny

They’re Hill Areas

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't know if Canada's prime minister is lying

But I think it's Tru deau

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TesticularPizza
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad Joke on /r/news: Russia says Canada weed legalization is a breach of international responsibility
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SergePower
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a bar in Canada...

The bar tender says, "What can I do for ya eh?" To which the man replies, "How's aboot a pint of lager?" The bartender hands him his beer. The man then asks, pointing at a crying Russian man at the opposite end of the bar, "What's the deal with him?" "Him? Oh, that's just Vladimir Putin."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Memedian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
🚨︎ report
While settling Canada...

One of the French outposts refused to cooperate with the others.

It was the rogue fort.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GregoryTheBlack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Canada isn't real

It's MapleLeaf.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/malicar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Some day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.

And then we will all be sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 212
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear how the named Canada? Someone was pulling letters out of a hat...

"C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 979
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur from Canada?

Torontosaurus Rex

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ilovebud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
🚨︎ report

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