Hopefully you guys will appreciate my Canada puns more than r/Jokes did
I tried telling some but they were having Nunavut.
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
My sister didn't believe me when I told her I don't know who the Prime Minister of Canada is
Why’s it called “Canada”?
Because when they were first asked to spell it, they said “C, eh. N, eh. D, eh”.
My friend wouldn't believe that Canada has a Prime Minster.
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid
What is Canada called when it fails at something?
Yesterday, someone asked me to make a joke about Canada
I’m sorry, I can’t think of anything
I was taking my children on a tour of the largest territory in Canada, but they kept acting up so I turned around and went home.
My wife was mad about it, but I don't care! I was having Nunavut!
Did you hear about Canada’s new green initiative?
They’re replacing plastic water bottles with a Canada water.
How did the Canadian’s come up with the name “Canada”?
There was a bunch of Canadians sitting around the table and one guy suggested they start naming letters their country name should contain.
One person said “C, eh?”
A second person said “N, eh?”
A third person said “D, eh?”
So what if I'm not part of a culturally similar indigenous peoples inhabiting the Arctic regions of Greenland, Canada and Alaska that speaks a language that is part of the Eskimo–Aleut family.
I could try harder to be, but I guess I'm just not Inuit.
I just found out Canada isn’t real
Turns out it was all mapleleaf
What do Canada and Mexico have in common?
They have us in the middle.
You never seen territories in the news, I guess they want nunavut
What was hockey called before it became popular in Canada?
You folks heard the one about Canada, eh?
They plan on buying Minnesota and calling it Canada B.
Have you heard the rumors about Canada’s Prime Minister?
You may think they’re fake, but they’re Trudeau
We imported a tree from Canada.
Thank god Canada’s not the global super power
At first i didn't believe the prime minister of Canada's wife had corona virus
But then someone told me it was trudeau.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
What is a threesome called in Canada?
What is the leading cause of liver disease in Canada?
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack.
Someone told me Yukon is the largest territory in Canada
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
We're calling our spaceship the Apollo-G.
A Canadian man is told to write a paper on a letter, so he says
An "S," eh?
Canada wan't originally supposed to have a C in it's name
But then they wanted anada letter
Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States?
What part of northern Canada is habitable?
If the United States annexed all of Canada and multiplied it’s area by two, what would you get?
What would happen if Canada moved their Capital?
You know Canada used to be spelled “CND”
But everyone kept getting confused because of all the eh’s
What do you call a dinosaur from Canada?
What’s Canada’s favorite board game?
I was thinking about eating wild animals in Canada.
Sometimes I think it is a big moose steak.
Soon Canada will take over the world then you'll all be sorry
Did you ever hear that they named Canada pulling letters out of a hat?
The person drawing them said, "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
My son convinced my sisters to sneak into Canada and start a garden.
It's his Alien Aunt Farm.
You might not believe that today is Canada's 150th birthday.
One day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.
And then we will all be sorry.
Some people think Canada is run by someone who has no idea what he's doing.
Excess weight could soon be Canada’s second leading preventable cause of cancer, report says
TIL about a bird that migrates from Canada to Jamaica each year, feeding on snakes over the winter
I’m currently in Montreal, Canada and just found this place across the street. I wonder if they serve Russian style poutines?
What's Canadas spy organization called?
'So you think you can dance Canada' missed a great opportunity to call themselves 'So you think you Canadance'
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
In Canada, they use the more appropriate “B.C.E” instead of “B.C.”
It stands for “Before Christ, Eh?”
How did Canada get it’s name
The leader of the country pull random letters and announced them first he drew a C so he said “C ey” then he drew a N so he said “N ey” then he drew a D so he said “D ey” and ever since then it’s been called Canada
Canada recently passed legislation that will ban keeping or breeding whales and dolphins in captivity
Guess you can say marineland has lost its porpoise
One day, Canada is going to take of the entire world....
Then you'll all be sorry...
How do we find out who is the worst Dad joke guy in Canada?
How did they come up with the spelling for ‘Canada’ ?
So there was a C eh, and a N eh and then a D eh
Went to pick something up for my friends 25th whilst in Canada but I could only find cards with incomplete slogans..
I’m sure he’d be okay with a card that said ‘Happy Birthd’, eh?
Did you hear the story of how Canada was named?
Many years ago, all the elders came together to name their wonderful country. The elders argued for many days, and could not come to an agreement on the name. One brilliant elder came up with a great idea, they would put all the letters of the alphabet into a hat, pull them out, one at a time, and that's what the name of their new country would be.
Of course, the elder who came up with the idea was chosen to pull the letters out of the hat.
Elder: C, eh. N, eh. D, eh
My friend caught hypothermia while painting outdoor scenes in Northern Canada.
Everyone thinks he needed a second coat.
One my friends is studying in New Zealand and her boyfriend is studying in Canada. I told this to someone and remarked on how romantic it would be for them to date on the International date line .
Whats TSA called in Canada?
Canada has launched its own version of Jeopardy.
The answers have to be in the form of an apology.
You might think I'm lying when I tell you Canada has a prime minister.
If the U.S gave Oregon to Canada would they be organ donors
You might not believe that the prime minister of Canada has a French last name.
I flew home to Canada from Europe yesterday. I woke up this morning and said to my dad "my arms hurt. I'm not sure why. I feel like I worked out or something". Without skipping a beat, my dad:
"Huh. Must be from all that flying you did"
I heard some salacious gossip about the prime minister of Canada
I don't think it's Trudeau
You know in Canada you don't have to fully spell out "we had" any more
Because they recently made "we'd" legal
Why are ball-based sports illegal in Canada?
Because then it would be cannibalism.
My brother in law just moved to Canada
He can’t work until he gets his permanent residency.
My wife said, “maybe he could move pianos for cash, under the table.”
Her dad said, “it’s hard enough moving pianos, hows he going to move them under a table?”
In Canada, we are so progressive and accepting that even our highway is Trans.
This Wednesday, pot is becoming legal here in Canada. For people ranking international travel destinations,
Canada should be high in your list of priorities.
My wife was yelling and upset with me that I couldn't figure out the exact route to her parents house in Canada from our place in Ohio.
I told her it was border line abuse.
How did Canada get it's name?
They drew letters from a hat.
"C. Eh? N. Eh? D. Eh?"
With the legalization of recreational marijuana in Canada...
A lot more people will be saying they have friends in high places.
50% of Canada is A
and its number 1 at being just north of America
If the US and Canada cant come to an agreement on NAFTA, we are in trouble. Transfer speeds are going to plummet
Without a US BC connection.
Son, have I ever told you the story of how Canada got it's name?
First, someone said,
"I think it should have a C, eh?"
Then another guy said,
"I think it should have an N, eh?"
Then a third guy said,
"I think it should have a D, eh?"
In Canada the mountains aren’t just funny
I don't know if Canada's prime minister is lying
But I think it's Tru deau
Dad Joke on /r/news: Russia says Canada weed legalization is a breach of international responsibility
A man walks into a bar in Canada...
The bar tender says, "What can I do for ya eh?"
To which the man replies, "How's aboot a pint of lager?"
The bartender hands him his beer. The man then asks, pointing at a crying Russian man at the opposite end of the bar, "What's the deal with him?"
"Him? Oh, that's just Vladimir Putin."
While settling Canada...
One of the French outposts refused to cooperate with the others.
It was the rogue fort.
Some day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.
And then we will all be sorry.
Did you hear how the named Canada? Someone was pulling letters out of a hat...
What do you call a dinosaur from Canada?