What happens if you eat bad salmon?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ May 28 2021
What did one salmon say to the other salmon after it ran into a concrete wall?
ποΈ 8
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οΈ May 10 2021
Who do you call when all of your cured salmon is stuck in the freezer?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ May 13 2021
Why does nobody trust the baby salmon?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Apr 12 2021
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm...
Man: Do you do fishcakes?
Fishmonger: no, I'm afraid not, sorry.
Man: Ah, that's a shame - it's his birthday today
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Mar 12 2021
My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 11k
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οΈ Jun 21 2020
My town throws a festival for the salmon spawn each year. This is what they call companies that contribute a significant amount of money.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Sep 30 2020
A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.
He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 104
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οΈ Sep 11 2020
What does a salmon always have in its home?
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Nov 11 2020
A buddy of mine likes taking pictures of salmon in clothes
He says he likes shooting fish in apparel
ποΈ 121
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οΈ Aug 30 2020
How do salmon keep people out of their homes?
ποΈ 27
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οΈ Jul 25 2020
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DONβT EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded βyouβll get salmon-Ella!β
ποΈ 49
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οΈ May 28 2020
A buddy of mine has a new hobby where he dresses up salmon in tiny outfits and takes pictures of them.
He says its like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Aug 31 2020
Last night at dinner, we were eating sushi, so I asked my wife, "What do you call refusing to incriminate your salmon?"
She swung and missed (getting to "Pleading the fifth" before eventually ending up at "Salmon the fifth?").
Then my 5-year-old daughter asked, "What was the first word you said?" and when told it was "Pleading," she said, "It would be 'Pleading the FISH'!"
I've never been so proud of her.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jun 26 2020
Where do they keep the most valuable salmon?
ποΈ 4
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οΈ May 14 2020
Salmon must have a good data plan...
They are always streaming
ποΈ 26
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οΈ Nov 12 2019
Why was the fish kicked from the Salmon group?
'Cause he was being pretty shellfish.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Oct 27 2019
My cat, JOJO, fighting Dio (circa, 1886). Tis a purrfect parody. Anime: Jojoβs bizarre adventures. Pun Clarification: Hamon is a fighting energy in the anime, you can see that the pun was replacing the word Salmon.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Aug 22 2019
Quick aside. If admiral ackbar contracted a minnow-scule amount of salmon-ella poisson-ing while tuna-ing his guitar on his carp-et, would he instead need to use his bass tonight?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Oct 03 2019
I was up the creek without a paddle, so had to make one out of salmon eggs...
After that, I roe-ed my boat to back to civilization, where I share my wonderful sense of humor!
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Nov 05 2019
I have a recipe for salmon with mozzarella on top.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ May 28 2019
Salmon are born in a river, swim out to sea for most of their lives, and then one day years later swim back against insurmountable odds to the very spot where they were born.
And I canβt find my car in the parking lot.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 22 2019
What do you call an argument between two linguist salmon?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 25 2019
The police say I stole a salmon!
But they don't have any fishsical evidence
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Apr 06 2019
Watching bears fish for salmon in Alaska live on YouTube when my GF asks what I'm watching.
ποΈ 416
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οΈ Aug 16 2017
When you regret ordering salmon over a New York strip
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jun 06 2019
This town has a festival every year for the spawning salmon. They are rife with fish puns. Itβs my favorite time of year.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Dec 21 2018
I wanted some smoked salmon
Unfortunately it quit smoking last week
ποΈ 5
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οΈ May 15 2019
If smoking is so bad for your health, then how come it cures salmon?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Jan 25 2019
Me: Anything to eat? Wife: There's salmon I baked in the fridge. Me: Next time you should bake it the oven. Waka waka waka!
ποΈ 449
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οΈ Apr 04 2014
My coworker called me selfish for reheating salmon in the microwave.
"But it's not shellfish!", I replied.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Jan 14 2018
I went to a sushi bar and ordered the salmon roe...
It was a spawn-taneous decision
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Nov 20 2018
Why can't you use a salmon as an instrument?
Because you can't tune a fish
ποΈ 12
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οΈ May 02 2016
First Tim SALMON, and now Mike TROUT?
Is this a baseball game, or a Long John Silvers?!?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jul 18 2018
What kind of soccer do salmon play?
Profishannal soccer
^^^^^imsosorry
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Apr 13 2015
I made salmon for dinner last night...
Girlfriend: "I can't eat this it tastes funny."
Me: "Are you sure? I'm certain the label said salmon and not clown fish."
Cue groans and eye rolling
ποΈ 31
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οΈ Sep 16 2014
If you want to make easy money, just take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Jan 29 2021
My friend hit it big taking pictures of salmon in human clothes.
He said it was like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jan 21 2021
My friend is getting rich by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 9k
π
οΈ Jan 20 2020
LPT: A quick and easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Nov 18 2020
If you want to make easy money, just take photographs of salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 117
π
οΈ Aug 27 2020
A friend of mine is making easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 28
π
οΈ Sep 17 2020
My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 7k
π
οΈ Nov 29 2018
My friend is making a lot of easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel!
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Oct 02 2019
If you want to make easy money, just take photographs of salmon dressed in suits, and sell them online.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
ποΈ 40
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οΈ Jul 18 2019
What happens when you put Nutella on Salmon?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Jun 18 2018
What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Jul 22 2017
What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Nov 10 2016
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