Someone who gets inspired catching trout... a fishionary

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmrtnt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
🚨︎ report
First Tim SALMON, and now Mike TROUT?

Is this a baseball game, or a Long John Silvers?!?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/svenguillotien
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a fishmonger with a trout flopping back and forth under his arm and asks "Do you do fishcakes?"

Pointing at the fish, "Cos it's his birthday."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skubbags
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Relationship problems
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ‘€︎ u/xJoey23
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Very fishy

Reporter goes to a brand new fish farm. The owner is showing her around. "These are our salmon, our trout are over there..." As the owner is speaking, reporter trips & her billfold falls into the nearest tank. It floats away, carried by the artificial current.

Reporter asks if the owner has a pool skimmer or something. Owner proudly says "No need, just watch - these fish are smart!"

Reporter watches as her billfold pops above the surface on the nose of a fish. The wallet is then tossed up, and another catches it.

This goes on until the last fish tosses the lost leather case into the reporter's hands. "That's amazing," she says.

Owner grins & says "Yep! We're proud of our carp-to-carp walleting!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ‘€︎ u/earthwulf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the fisherman cross the road?

Just for the Halibut

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ‘€︎ u/Golden5StarMan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a fish joke here...

But I don't think it's the right plaice to. I feel like I'll just flounder. I'm a dab hand with bad puns, though I'm probably gonna look like a right bass. I trout this'll be very popular. I mean, sal-mon, it's pretty bad. I think I need to tuna bit of it. I should ask my friend Hali-but she's probably busy. So no dice.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Driving down the freeway just now, wife reads a sign..

"Trout Motel. Sounds fishy."

Mom joke?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do some people hate fishing?

I’m still trying to figure it trout.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/BridJrome
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife says I need to eat more fish

I might have a deficiency.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/RiseAtlas
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
If horses gallop and trot,

Do sea horses scallop and trout?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/DolphinzX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Boat names

Keeping up a-pier-ances

The Sturgeon-General

A fine piece of bass

All I really want is gulls

About a bouy

Gulls don't like bouys, gulls like cars and money

Bass and titties

Little ado a-trout nothing

Please keel free to add your own :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrToastNBake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a Fishmongers and acted like I knew everything.

I soon learned my plaice

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/MickyLeeYT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Animals puns for wedding tables...

We're having a Canadian wedding with an animal theme to differentiate the different tables. On each table we'll have an animal emblem with some kind of love pun for each animal. It's been a trying affair to come up with these, but I know a lot of them could be better. In fact, most of them are downright ridiculous.

Reddit, how can we improve these?

Moose - I find you amoosing.

Beaver - I think I'll pick this flower for her, it would beavery romantic.

Owl - Owl always love you.

Fox - You are the object of my affoxtion.

Skunk - I stink you're sweet!

Bunny - Everybunny loves you!

Woodpecker - Knock Knock! Who's there? Wood! Wood who? Wood you be mine?

Porcupuine. I'm stuck on you.

Wolf - Wolf you marry me?

Trout - We'll be together trout eternity!

Turtle - You're turtley amazing.

Lynx - Let us lynx our lives together.

Bear - To be away from you is unbearable.

Squirrel - I'm going nuts for you!

Raven - Can't stop raven about you.

Turkey - I could just gobble you up

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/TonyMcConkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my dad while fishing today.

I went speckled trout fishing today with my dad and uncle and they were getting a little annoyed because I kept pulling in fish and they weren't even getting a bite. So my dad started making fun of the way I was standing because I was in the middle of the boat so I had one foot on the floor by the seats and one foot up on the deck, kind of like the captain Morgan pose. Dad: Why you keep standing like that? Me: Because it gives me a leg up on the fish. He just grinned and went back to not catching any fish.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/crampedlicense
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Since we're on fish puns...

We took a plastic fish to a marching rehearsal at my university last year. Afterwards, we proceeded to have a conversation that was one pun after another.

"Fish. That is all."

"Just for the halibut."

"Oh for the love of cod, can we not bring this here?"

"Seriously, I will krill every last one of you."

"I'm not squidding with you guys. This scampi happening any more."

"Sorry. I couldn't resist the oppor-tuna-ty."

"You're floundering."

"Why, pollocks! I'm just getting started!"

"Don't worry. His shark is worse than his bite."

"Don't trout my pun ability."

"'Pun ability' my bass! You wouldn't know a fish joke if it sprat you in the eye!"

"I might need to go see a sturgeon. These jokes are killing me."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaws9182
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad was ordering music for me online...

I had a church service that I needed to order the music for. I was explaining to my dad just what needed to be ordered. I play Trombone, and naturally needed music in Bass Clef. So he asks me about the clef and I told him I needed Bass Clef.

He goes..."You sure you don't need Trout or Halibut clef?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wilkes-kun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.