seafood puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bungaqueza
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant last night?

Battered Fish Everywhere!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beastieboys1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
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My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.

They seemed a little fishy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
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I knew i shouldn't have eaten the seafood,

Im feeling a little eel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SedPotat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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I went to a seafood disco last week...

and pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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I got my first senior discount at the seafood restaurant last night.

It smelled good but it tasted like caarp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
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I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood. He said, "everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,

that's shellfish."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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A blind person was eating seafood

It didn’t help.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nom_nom44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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When my friend craves seafood, he doesn’t care what anyone else wants to eat.

He has shellfish desires.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 24
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I don’t trust people on the west coast who don’t like seafood.

There’s something fishy about them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Digomansaur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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I tried eating seafood

But ya know i just couldn't see it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombiehunter201
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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I went to a seafood disco

and I couldn’t dance because I pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wings_of_Fire312
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants

Turns out she was only with me for my mussels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MJBGaming
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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I went to a seafood disco last weekend.

I pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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When do ribs become seafood?

When you eat it in a so-fish-ticated restaurant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/falknorRockman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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What happens when you eat too much seafood?

You begin to feel a little eel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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Dad: My doctor put me on a seafood diet

Son: I know dad, you see food you eat it.

Dad: No, I can only eat c foods, cantaloupe, cauliflower, carrots.

Son: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unclematthegreat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Great for any seafood snack!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonicGames
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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My girlfriend dumped me when I stopped taking her to Seafood restaurants.

Turns out she was only with me for my mussels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnoyingChef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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What is the most blessed seafood?

Holy mackerel!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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I'm on a seafood diet

When I see food, I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Why couldn’t the shellfish go to the seafood disco?

He pulled a mussel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wicked_Potato-75
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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They say you shouldn't mix seafood with dairy, so sorry if this one is cheesy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michilio
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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There’s a shifty seafood market near my house.

A lot of fishy stuff goes down there.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Why doesn’t the government trust seafood places

Cuz they’re always a bit fishy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Citydoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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So I walked over to a seafood restaurant yesterday

And I pulled a muscle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuintonFlynn
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I knew I shouldn't have had that seafood.

Now I'm feeling a little eel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MookieV
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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I knew I should have skipped the seafood

Now I'm feeling a little eel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/V-Tac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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I think I ate some bad seafood

I've been feeling a little eel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greedyman87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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I’m on a seafood diet

I see food, I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SidHoffman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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There seems to be something odd about this seafood place, I can’t place what it is...

I don’t know it seems a little fishy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hankisgod
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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I went to an exotic seafood restaurant that serves clown fish, but I didn't eat it.

It tasted funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brother_p
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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The all you can eat seafood buffet had restrictions I didn’t know about :/

I should have read the crab clause

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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I've decided that I'm going on a seafood diet.

When I see food, I am going to eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMH2075
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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I never understood the "seafood" diet joke.

It just seems like they were fishing for laughs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/normal-spongebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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Why did members of the Wu Tang Clan storm out of Danny's Filthy, Aged Seafood?

They didn't appreciate their fish coming with a side of an old, dirty bass turd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsherFischell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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I'm on a seafood diet......

I see food and I eat it !!

Nom nom nom. yumm yum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Dad: Is that seafood on your plate?

Me: dad, I’m eating spaghetti with meat sauce... it’s beef.

Dad: well I see food on your plate... don’t you?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Monotone-Pinecone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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What did the police say when they raided the seafood restaurant?

Don't move a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StephenHunterUK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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What’s Godzilla’s favorite seafood?

Crushed asians

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDoot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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A man walks into a fancy seafood restaurant with his recently deceased Siamese fighting fish and asked the chef to cook it for him

The chef told the man that he has bigger fish to fry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nonresidentialdot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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I still remember fondly the first time my Dad took me to a wonderful seafood restaurant.

I’ll never forget it. A great mussel memory.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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I went to a seafood party last night

I had so much fun I pulled a muscle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattpudzilla
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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A seafood delivery truck is a school bus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
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I went to the seafood disco last night...

I pulled a muscle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mariochristo03
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
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I’m on a seafood diet

If I SEE food I’ll eat it. dad laugh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meeksFerda3000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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I went to Maine and ate all the seafood.

I was feeling shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5parky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
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Mom: "I don't want seafood..."

Dad: "Me neither. I prefer to eatfood."

Mom: "Well I'm on a low-crab diet."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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I was looking on Yelp for some good seafood in my area and there was one place close by.

But it only had tuna half stars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliveBoobs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
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My sister asked my pop to pass the seafood at the dinner table.

I have a scrawny, little, younger sister and we always have a seafood buffet for Christmas dinner.

Sister: "Hey, dad can you pass me the shrimp and I want some mussels too please?"

Dad: "Here's the shrimp, for mussels you're gonna have to go to a gym and do some exercising" [continues eating his food without ever passing the mussels]

Sister: "Hey, dad....."

Pops: "Hay is for horses, this is seafood."

This was especially funny due to the fact that he kept a poker face the entire time and never made eye contact with my sister, being completely serious and never cracking a smile. These exchanges happen at least 7X a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/konvictkarl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
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There was a big fight at the seafood restaurant.

Three fish got battered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harvayylmao
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
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I went to a new seafood restaurant that serves clownfish.

I thought it tasted funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brother_p
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2017
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I heard there was a seafood sale at the grocery store, so I brought some glowsticks...

I wanted to be ready when the bass dropped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2017
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just heard there was a fight at the local seafood restaurant

apparently four fish got battered

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoflungpoomunkey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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Where do you go to buy secondhand seafood?

A prawn shop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ker-Blammo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
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I'm on a seafood diet

I see food, and I eat it!

*Disclaimer: this is actually a joke my mom told

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissMorality
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2017
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I'm on a seafood diet.

I sea food, and I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haiko248
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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Did you hear about the two men from the monastery who opened a fast-food seafood restaurant?

One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/optomus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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What's a rocks favorite seafood?

Rock lobster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soviet_Giraffe
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
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After an unsuccessful morning of fishing my dad and I got lunch at seafood restaurant

He ordered a small filet and when the waitress brought it by he held out his hands and asked her to just drop it a couple inches. That way he could say he caught his lunch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charlienbeck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
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I told my friend she should get a job on the Seafood Team at the local Whole Foods.

She declined, said she didn't want to get Salmon-ella.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/numberninemac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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After complimenting him on his recent weight loss my dad told me that he has been on a seafood diet

"I just eat everything I see."

God damn it, Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merovingian89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
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What do you call a Scots child who monopolizes the oyster counter at a seafood restaurant?

A raw bar bairn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dwarven-Monk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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We went to a fancy seafood restaurant for my dad's "double nickel" birthday.

When asked what he would be having he casually answered "I think I'll try the halibut. Just for the hell of it."

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
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seafood

i knew i shouldn't have seafood

i am feeling a little eel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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There was a fight at a seafood restaurant

Battered fish everywhere

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potholedtrain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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I️’m on a seafood diet.

I see food and I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Longtail_675
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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I went to a seafood disco last week…

and pulled a mussel!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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I'm on a seafood diet

I see food, I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mtb_frc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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I went to a seafood disco last week...

...and pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
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I'm on the seafood diet...

If I see food, I eat it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mastermindxs
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2015
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