seafood puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bungaqueza
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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Did you hear about the seafood restaurant that will give you calamari in exchange for money?

They practice squid pro quo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crotalis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I saw a blind man eating seafood today

It didn't help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phileo56
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I'm on a seafood diet

I see food and I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/artinmens
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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My 7yr old son, "Why is seafood called seafood?"

"Because you see the food."

He came up with it all by himself.

Proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Findego
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Why did the seafood-themed jazz musician's career tank?

Because he had no sole

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRage469
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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My friend opened a seafood restaurant...

He named it β€œCCCCCCC”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What is a seafood an Italian would love to have?

A moray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysticOlive
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant last night?

Battered Fish Everywhere!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beastieboys1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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I knew i shouldn't have eaten the seafood,

Im feeling a little eel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SedPotat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.

They seemed a little fishy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants

Turns out she was only with me for my mussels

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MJBGaming
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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I went to a seafood disco last week...

and pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood. He said, "everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,

that's shellfish."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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I got my first senior discount at the seafood restaurant last night.

It smelled good but it tasted like caarp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I don’t trust people on the west coast who don’t like seafood.

There’s something fishy about them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Digomansaur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I tried eating seafood

But ya know i just couldn't see it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombiehunter201
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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When my friend craves seafood, he doesn’t care what anyone else wants to eat.

He has shellfish desires.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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When do ribs become seafood?

When you eat it in a so-fish-ticated restaurant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/falknorRockman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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What happens when you eat too much seafood?

You begin to feel a little eel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Great for any seafood snack!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonicGames
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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Dad: My doctor put me on a seafood diet

Son: I know dad, you see food you eat it.

Dad: No, I can only eat c foods, cantaloupe, cauliflower, carrots.

Son: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unclematthegreat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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What is the most blessed seafood?

Holy mackerel!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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They say you shouldn't mix seafood with dairy, so sorry if this one is cheesy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michilio
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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There’s a shifty seafood market near my house.

A lot of fishy stuff goes down there.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Why doesn’t the government trust seafood places

Cuz they’re always a bit fishy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Citydoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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So I walked over to a seafood restaurant yesterday

And I pulled a muscle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuintonFlynn
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I went to an exotic seafood restaurant that serves clown fish, but I didn't eat it.

It tasted funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brother_p
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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I think I ate some bad seafood

I've been feeling a little eel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greedyman87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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I've decided that I'm going on a seafood diet.

When I see food, I am going to eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMH2075
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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What did the police say when they raided the seafood restaurant?

Don't move a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StephenHunterUK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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Why did members of the Wu Tang Clan storm out of Danny's Filthy, Aged Seafood?

They didn't appreciate their fish coming with a side of an old, dirty bass turd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsherFischell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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I never understood the "seafood" diet joke.

It just seems like they were fishing for laughs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/normal-spongebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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A blind person was eating seafood

It didn’t help.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nom_nom44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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I went to a seafood disco

and I couldn’t dance because I pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wings_of_Fire312
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I’m on a seafood diet.

I see food then I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Scribbler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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I went to a seafood disco last weekend.

I pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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My girlfriend dumped me when I stopped taking her to Seafood restaurants.

Turns out she was only with me for my mussels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnoyingChef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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Why couldn’t the shellfish go to the seafood disco?

He pulled a mussel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wicked_Potato-75
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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I knew I should have skipped the seafood

Now I'm feeling a little eel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/V-Tac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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I'm on a seafood diet

When I see food, I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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I knew I shouldn't have had that seafood.

Now I'm feeling a little eel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MookieV
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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seafood

i knew i shouldn't have seafood

i am feeling a little eel

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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There was a fight at a seafood restaurant

Battered fish everywhere

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potholedtrain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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