Stopped by a roadside lobster stand that said 'lobster tails Β£2' I paid my Β£2 and the owner of the stand says...

Once upon a time there was this lobster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I came across a roadside stand advertising Lobster Tales for $2

What a deal! I happily paid. The cashier began, β€œOnce upon a time there was this lobster…”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Ahai
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
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What did the oyster text to the Lobster?

A Shellfie

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster that just got a boob job?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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A lobster and a shrimp opened a highly expensive pufferfish shop.

I guess selfish shellfish sell swell fish.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
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Why didn't the lobster want to share anything?

Because he's shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moz1981
πŸ“…︎ May 11
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Why don’t crabs and lobsters donate to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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"Will those lobsters share their food?"

"No, they're two shellfish."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChangeNew389
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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Why do people hate lobsters

Cause there clawfaul

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guest1928349284
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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Did you hear that Lobsters have formed their own political movement?

They're fighting for a just claws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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I took a lobster out for dinner

When he saw the main course, he sure looked steamed!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luxara-VI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What do Red Lobster shrimp and a car dealership have in common?

They’ve both been detailed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flowersforfrogs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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I saw a lobster escape a grocery store tank

It clawed itself out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuchoTornado
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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How do lobsters take their kids to school?

A crustacean wagon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Octo-bird
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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I was driving through Portland, Augusta, and Bangor and was disappointed that I couldn't find any lobster.

I thought that was their Maine attraction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faceless-Pronoun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor....

I have shellfish steamed issues.

πŸ‘︎ 186
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Warning: when you host a lobster race, all shell can break loose
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maddawg90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Did you hear there's no more lobsters in the sea?

There's other problems too, but this is the Maine issue.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Intrepidity87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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For the lobsters in the kitchen....

...the sinking of the Titanic was a 'miracle'.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Why don't lobsters ever share?

Because they're shell-fish. First child due in April!πŸ˜ƒ

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timsketchy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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What’s worse than a lobster on your piano?

A crab on your organ.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What do you call a greedy lobster?

Shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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What did the chicken say to the Lobster who refused to wear a face mask?

You're so shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mockturtle22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood. He said, "everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,

that's shellfish."

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an annoyed lobster?

A frustacean

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCraddingGuy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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What do lobsters drink in the morning?

Clawfee

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carnival_k
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What did the clam say to the lobster when it stole his pearl?

You're so shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!

They’re so shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0wser_304
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?

King's Crustation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmytheelf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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What’s the difference between an old Greyhound terminal, and a lobster with 36DD breasts?

One’s a dusty bus station & the other is a busty crustacean!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lind-zayy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.

I payed my $2 and the guy says β€œOnce upon a time there was this lobster.”

πŸ‘︎ 290
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RocksOnReddit924
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mza299
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tpark474
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus depot and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

I’ll see myself out...

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gsned70
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatypusPajamas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What's The Difference Between A Dirty Bus Stop And A Lobster With Breast Implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazykitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's The Difference Between A Dirty Bus Stop And A Lobster With Breast Implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazykitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between an old bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus-station, the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...

Once upon a time there was this lobster...

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__kitten
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a Dirty Bus Stop and a Lobster with breast implants?

One is a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boob implants?

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a nasty bus stop and a lobster with breasts?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a filthy Greyhound terminal and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and one is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rfdyl12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?

One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bathroomword
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and one is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BornChris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats the diferance between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station and the others a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/conbeanaman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abernackle610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report

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