Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...

Once upon a time there was this lobster...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__kitten
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boob implants?

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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Why don't crabs give to charity?

Because they're shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guitnut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2016
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Why won't lobsters help you?

Because they're shellfish!

I made that up for my 3 year old after I gave him a stuffed toy lobster I got on business in Boston. He brought it in to show and tell and told the class the joke. Made me so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wsupfoo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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My fiancΓ© just busted out this gem...

We have a ten week old son and his humor has gotten lamer and lamer by the day. We moved our coffee table out of the way to vacuum and I said, 'It would be really cool to just put a giant love sack there instead of a table' (a love sack is one of those giant bean bag chairs).

He looked at me and without missing a beat belts out 'Cuz a loooove sack, is a little old place where....we can sit to-getherrrrrrr.' Laughs at his own joke... All the way up the stairs.

And it begins.

TL;DR Rock lobster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaps84
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/truth_artist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
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