What did the oyster text to the Lobster?

A Shellfie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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Why did the Oyster visit the Physio?

He pulled a Mussel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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What did the oyster cleaner say when his colleagues threw him a party?

Aw shucks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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What kind of noise annoys an oyster

A noisy noise annoys an oyster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeebok
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
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Can you believe people actually eat mountain oysters?

Isn't that nuts?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wessdude79
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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Why are oysters the best at crowd control?

'cause they always be screamin' : "ALLRIGHT EVERYBODY CLAM DOWN !!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurtkopain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
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why don't oysters give to charity?

because they're shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_crozier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
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Why did the oyster's girlfriend dump him?

He was shellfish in the seabed

No, my 4 year old son didn't write this. I did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NumberOneRussian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
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Why wouldn't the oyster give up her pearl?

She was shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeHunt_004
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Son: You're taking all the oysters!

Dad: Sorry, im being shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComboBreaker1045
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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What's the difference between an epileptic oyster schucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carriager
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Why don’t oysters share their pearls?

Because they are shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kimbers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Why do crabs dislike oysters?

Because they are shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaReehlEza
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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After years of training as a chef, the only job I got was preparing oysters at a small restaurant.

I have to say it really shucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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The world is my oyster

And I have a shellfish allergy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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What do you call male oysters?

Boysters. What do you call bodybuilding oysters?

Hoisters. What do you call oyster pirates?

Ahoysters. What do you call oyster nuns?

Cloisters. What do you call oysters that live under water?

Moisters. What do you call shy oysters?

Coysters. What do you call working class oysters?

Employsters. What do you call oysters with an evil plan?

Ploysters. What do you call singing oysters?

Voiceters.

I should stop before this gets worseter.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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If you really want to have the world as your oyster...

Don't you think that's a little shellfish?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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What is an oyster’s favorite band?

Pearl Jam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeJonJames31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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An oyster says to her boyfriend " I feel like I can really open up to you."

"Awww shucks"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jedispartan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Did you hear about the oyster that over did it on the dance floor?

He pulled a mussel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoVeryKerry
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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My friend plays classical music to his pet oysters, which he places stones within the soft tissue of their bivalves...

He makes cultured pearls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Mussels, scallops and oysters never share

They're shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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It's an old joke that oysters are shellfish becauee they dont want to share...

But no one complains about the hedgehogs? Share the hedge, jerks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbffed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Amazon is selling oysters on the half shell (144 per case). That’s just gross.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sights_of_the_sun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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I just got hired by a high end restaurant, but the only thing I do is prepare oysters.

My job really shucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Why shouldn't you eat oysters with Method Man?

Because Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to shuck with

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Giraffe_Racer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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What would happen if an oyster witnessed a mafia killing?

He would clam up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FurriesRGay14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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What did the the grain of sand say after it made it's way out of the oyster?

Whew! I'm nacred...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orthoprosthetist
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
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Sometimes I fantasize about quitting my job and going to work in an oyster bar....

...but I heard the work kinda shucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/threeninjas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2016
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What does an oyster wear into battle?

Clamouflage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crack_rock
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
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Eating dinner with a group of friends this weekend and the oyster appetizer was at the other end of the table. 'Can you get me an oyster?'

"Sorry, they're all gone."

"Aww shucks!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagsMaloney
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
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You may as well call me an oyster

Because im shellfish...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stax3745
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
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A baby eel is called and elver. A baby oyster is called a spat.

Tell your friends. It'll be the weirdest thing you elver did spat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakerz798
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2015
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What do you call a Scots child who monopolizes the oyster counter at a seafood restaurant?

A raw bar bairn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dwarven-Monk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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Why don't oysters give to charity?

Because they're shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dooderdoot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn’t the oyster give up her pearl?

She was shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't oysters donate to charity?

Because they're shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Why don’t oysters share their pearls?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Why don't oysters give to charity?

They're shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmiller62
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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Why don't oysters give to charity?

Because they are shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/exorcist2018
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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