Why didn’t the clam have many friends?

Because he was a little shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smolprincess928
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor....

I have shellfish steamed issues.

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn't the fish inspector approve the clam's new shell?

Because.....

It wasn't a-fish-shell

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/voidtype
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
I’m feeling pretty sore after tripping over some clams.

I think I might’ve pulled a mussel.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Why were the clams apart?

They were practicing seashell distancing.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefourblackbars
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What did the clam say to the lobster when it stole his pearl?

You're so shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams...

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"

"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."

"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.

"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
How does a clam learn to play an instrument?

Mussel memory!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rougetoad49
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
What happened when the clam got too stressed out?

He got clammy hands

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameispounds
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Don't let your clam chowder

Don't let your meat loaf either

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingshawaiian__1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
I used to search for clams on the beach

But then I pulled a mussel

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reditt_username
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The clam before the storm
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't clams share their pearls?

Because they are shell fish!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raysilan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the clam say to the mussel?

You make me feel so spe-SHELL.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/studiolxv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What did a clam say to her cheating clam husband...

You shellfish bastard!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fruit_And_Nutcase
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
On a clip of clams lurching around on a plate
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If a clam takes a picture of itself...

would the picture be a shellfie?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnomekicker18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an epileptic clam shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?

One shucks between fits.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gaeleng
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the clam that never shared?

How shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlothChamber
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why wasn't the clam a good companion?

Because he was shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/code_engine
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a clam do for his birthday?

he shell-ebrates

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hidoshigo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
When you eat clams,

they become shells of their former selves.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hollywoodqwertyu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a clams favorite beach?

Mussel beach.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LtRocko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a greedy clam?

Shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omnipeasant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
You hear what happened to the clam after his divorce?

He had to pay his ex-wife abolone.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rinaldi1337
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a clam that doesn’t like to share?

Shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustAGuyInTampa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My buddy and I bought a big bag of clam meat to fry up, but he's already getting sick of them...

I asked him if he was suffering from Mussel Fatigue.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Assaultkitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2014
🚨︎ report
Clam Chowder

Clam chowder makes 'em louder makes em sound like blastin' powder!

My dad used to respond with this all the time when we, as kids, would chant the 'beans beans they're magical fruit' rhyme.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crackofdawn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the clam have any friends?

He was very shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HatsuneJimbo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"

"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."

"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.

"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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