The Dolphin Olympics

Every four years, all the dolphins of the world gather in the Sargasso Sea for a series of athletic feats in their quest to win coveted Golden Clam Shells in the Dolphin Olympics. The most prized event is the famed "fish flip," where dolphins must first corner and then launch a tuna as far as they can through the air using any means necessary.

This year, the overwhelming favorites were Spliffy, a Common Dolphin, and Bianco, a brainy Bottlenose, both of whom were expected to leave the others in their wake. Spectators squeaked and squealed as tuna after tuna was flung up to twenty-five meters through the air, before splashing back into the ocean. All eyes now turned to Spliffy and Bianco as they weaved through the course, chasing their silvery prey. Everyone held their blowholes in nervousness, anxiously waiting to see who would be champion of the seas.

Just as Bianco spectacularly cut inside Spliffy with an acrobatic roll and was about to launch the tuna skyward, out of nowhere, a giant, lumbering shadow appeared. An gigantic barnacled tail sprang upward, sending several tonnes of ocean water and one unsuspecting tuna fish into the clear blue Atlantic sky. Dolphins watched with their beaks ajar as the tuna flew in an arc well over two hundred and fifty meters.

The y couldn't believe their eyes. A Whale! An enormous, annoying, bellowing humpback whale had just set a new Dolphin Olympic record with its humongously large tail. It was an enormous fluke.

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I made this joke up over dinner last night and was met with the best response you can get from a dad joke to kids. "I don't get it".

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📅︎ May 02 2023
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