Warning: when you host a lobster race, all shell can break loose
You would think that a Snail without a shell would move that bit faster ?
But it's actually more sluggish.
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
But no, it only made him more sluggish.
You know where I should put those sea shells I found at the beach?
Egg: If you take me seriously, you'll leave my shell intact and not remove my whites. Me: *Breaks Egg and removes whites*
Do you wanna know why people with shell fish allergies can’t be body builders?
Because they can’t have mussels.
When you’re having one shell of a day
Why wouldn't the fish inspector approve the clam's new shell?
It wasn't a-fish-shell
I try to take my mermaid friends out of Atlantis every now and then to explore the coral reefs, wreckages and collect some shells, but they hesitate to do so...
I think they're a bit shellf conchess
What kind of nut doesn't have a shell
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?"
"I'm a spy"
"A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
My snail was losing in races, so I tried taking his shell off.
But it just made him more sluggish.
Felt bad for that garden snail after he lost his shell..
Poor guy has been sluggish ever since.
Me and my mother-in-law's relationship in a nut shell.
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him go faster. If anything it made him more sluggish.
I took my snails' shells off and told them to fight
The snail left his shell at home.
He was feeling sluggish the rest of the day.
I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell...
It only made it more sluggish.
It's time to shell-ebrate!
Here's this sub in a nut shell
I'm a shell of a man
Snail slides into a Tesla dealership after seeing Elon Musk on TV. Inches his way up to a salesperson. Snail asks to go on a test drive, the sales person shrugs, says sure, why not. It's been a slow day.
After it's over, snail is impressed. "I gotta get one of these!
Saleswoman asks if he can afford it. He is, after all, a snail. Snail retreats into his shell comes out with a wad of cash, the exact amount for the car.
"Yeah lady, I can pay! Can I get it customized?"
The woman says of course, but it'll cost more. Snail whips out more dough.
Snail says "Paint it with pink S's all over the vehicle!"
The saleswoman says sure and asks why.
The snail says "When I'm driving around, I want people to say 'WOW! Look at that fast, pink electric S-car go!'"
I saw a group of snails take off their shells and fight with each other.
Snails don't move any faster if you remove their shells.
In fact, they become more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. Unfortunately, it just seems to have made him sluggish.
My mother has a beautifully arranged shell-f at her home.
You'd think snails would be faster without their shells
but it turns out they're actually more sluggish.
My turtle was upset.. he couldnt afford the new shell-phone
Took the shell off my racing snail to see if I could make it go faster...
Just made it a bit sluggish.
My friend was talking about how he found a box of shotgun shells in his desk
I asked him if he could hear the ocean in them
Just a mermaid talking on her shell phone.
A met a snail who had its shell removed
He said he felt a bit sluggish
Honey, our relationship can't go on if you just close yourself into a shell.
I thought a snail would be faster without it's shell but actually it is quite sluggish
This made me laugh a shell of a lot
Someone told me that if you hold a Shell up you can hear the sea.
All I got was 6 years for armed robbery
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
I wanted to see if my snail would move faster without the it's shell
but it wasn't any less sluggish then before.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
Why do mermaids wear sea-shells?
Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big.
Two peanuts were waking down the street, one was wrapped in its shell
I took the shell off of my pet snail to see if it would move faster
But it just ended up being more sluggish.
Why does the Little Mermaid wear sea shells?
Because she outgrew B shells..
I took the shell off my pet snail to make him go faster
But now he’s even more sluggish than before
Amazon is selling oysters on the half shell (144 per case). That’s just gross.
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
So I entered my snail in to a race, but I took his shell off to make him faster.
It ended up making him sluggish.
I opened a pistachio shell, and there was nothing inside.
Even Mother Nature is participating in No Nut November.
What does a turtle do in its shell?
I removed the shell from my snail to make it faster
But instead it just made it sluggish.
My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster.
Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish.
What does Ariel wear sea shells?
Because she can’t fit in D shells
I took the shell of my snail recently
He’s been sluggish ever since
Why does The Little Mermaid wear sea shells?
Because she can't fit into D-shells.
Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because they're too big for "b" shells
Why do mermaids wear Sea Shells?
Because “B” shells are too small and “D” shells are too big.
Found a shell on the beach
Wouldn't snails move faster if they just took off their shells?
Well, actually, it would make them more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail today...
I thought it would make it faster, but if anything it just made it more sluggish
A snail was told he would go faster if he took his shell off.........
...... but it just made him more sluggish!
What do you call a place turtles go that don't have shells?
People have a misconception that if you take the shell off snails, it will go faster...
But they just end up being sluggish.
Edit: Don't thank me, the wife laid this one on me just now. I told her was going to post this on reddit, she said we've run out of stamps.
What did the pistachio say to it's shell?
Why does Ariel wear sea shells?
Because d shells are too big.
Did you guys her about the racing snail that took off his shell?
Well after that he became a big sluggish.
What does a snail keep in his shell?
If a snail loses its shell does it become faster?
No, it gets a bit more sluggish.
Heard it on Round Planet from Netflix
A group of snails got into a really heated fight. They took their shells off and went at it.
Why do mermaids wear sea shells?
Because they grew out of their B shells.
This is me in a nut shell
Help, I'm trapped in a nut shell!
I thought removing my snail's shell would make him faster...
Turns out that it just made him more sluggish.
Crime is getting worse where I live, so my dad decided to give me some protection and boxed up his trusty 9mm, a big and a small clip and a bunch of shells for me! [Xpost /r/funny]
When you put a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean
I think I'm just hearing in between channels
Old man at Subway explained to me why mermaids wear sea shells on their chest
I was in line at Subway and this older man was in front of me. He looked back and said, "Do you know why mermaids wear sea shells on their chests? Because "B" shells are too small and "D" shells are too big."
I gave him a chuckle and a "That's a good one".
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Because B shells are too small
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Because she can’t fit D-shells
Thought taking my shell of my racing snail would make it faster.
Turns out that just made it more sluggish.
What did Barack Obama say when he dropped his shell at the beach?
What do you call a Chinese man with a hard outer shell?
I took the shell off my pet snail to see if it would move any faster.
It just made it more sluggish.
She Sells Sea Shells by the Sea Shore. Say that five times fast.
Went to a wedding last night, Dad dropped this bomb shell during his speach...
"Thank you all for joining us tonight, it's been a very emotional evening for all of us, even the cake is in tiers."
I didn't get it until later.
I thought pulling the shell off my racing snail would make him faster...
But it just made him more sluggish.
I took off the shell of my snail to make him go faster...
but now he is more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail to make it go faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail to make him go faster...
...It just made him more sluggish