There was an article I read about this man who hasn’t woken up in years in Washington

I guess he’s in a Tacoma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthatbrownguy91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What did George Washington say to his reinforcements?

You musket down here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billgluckman7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What did George Washington say to his men before they stepped into the boat?

Men, step in the boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leanne_Cock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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I made a post on TIL about George Washington,

it got removed because it was β€œtoo General”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.

In that sense, he was on the money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.

I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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You ever notice how George Washington only got a big stick, and everyone else got huge memorials? I guess that's why they call it the Washington Post.
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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The guy who made this was a George Washington Carver
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiochemBeer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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without the washington monument america would be a pointless nation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swoswald
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Peanuts are great and all, but do you know what George Washington Carver SHOULD have been famous for?

Mount Rushmore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrNerdfighter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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Long layovers in Washington, DC airports are so Dulles
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smiling_frown
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Washington Post with a cheesy headline
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ap25000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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Pencil Washington
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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What do you call George Washington's false teeth?

Presidentures

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danwright32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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What is George Washington’s favorite animal?

A buck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jack-a-boy123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?

Because he couldn’t lie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshuaschrimpf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Can someone please draw Pencil Washington?
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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A man turned to me and said, β€œI built the Washington monument.”

I replied, β€œyou raise a good point.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ldb477
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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What did George Washington say to his men before they got onto the boat?

Men get onto the boat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pewpewlazor5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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Where did George Washington get his hatchet?

The chopping mall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red0333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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If George Washington, Ben Franklin, James Madison and Alexander Hamilton play D&D, do they roll for constitution?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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Guys wanna see a chiseled Washington?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pastaman125
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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TIL: George Washington predicted that eventually the $1 bill will contain his likeness.

In that regard, he was on the money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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What did King George think about George Washington?

He thought he was revolting!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thattransgal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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George Washington predicted that one day, a dollar bill will bear his likeness.

In that regard, he was on the money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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The difference between Washington and Florida is like the difference between apples and oranges.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YucksterFukster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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George Washington is the only president to not blame the previous administration for his problems
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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Why are the sidewalks of Washington, D.C. so clean?

Because all the trash is in the White House.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickmidas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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I asked my dad, who swore in Washington?

He said, most people who have been there, especially anyone who has driven there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yesennes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch his coffin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arz992
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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What do you call a president who has to do a lot of laundry? Washington.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corn_n_potatoes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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I was named after George Washington

My name isn't the same as his I was just named after he was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HawkofNight
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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After the March on Washington, MLK needed new shoes.

The shoe shop was ecstatic to have him as one of their customers, they left him with this kind remark:

"God bless your sole!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/modstms
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2017
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George Washington is the only president to have been drawn and quartered.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Trekspert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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There was an earthquake in Washington DC the other day...

It was obviously the government's fault.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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Wheel of Fortune should host a show in Washington state.

Then I could winna Winnebago in Walla Walla, Washington

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anaconda386
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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While she was taking me on a tour of the embassies in Washington D.C...

Her: This one's the Japanese embassy, this one's the Belgian embassy, this one's the Finnish embassy...

Me: The Finnish embassy? Where's the start embassy?

Her: .......

Me: :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abraxan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
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What did Dakota say to Washington?

I don't know....Al-aska!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarahsugarplum
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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Washington Redskins
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aquajock
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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Recently made a trip to Ford's Theatre in Washington D.C....

Made a trip to DC by myself and went to Ford's Theatre as part of the trip. I uploaded a couple picture's I took into an album and made a brief description of each, because I knew my family would be interested in looking. Then my father, who is normally a very silent man who rarely ever smiles (let alone cracks a joke), commented this.

Simple, yet effective.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ResRevolution
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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Washington Post Headline: IBM ends campaign urging women to hack hair dryers after heated blowback

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2015/12/08/ibm-ends-campaign-urging-women-to-hack-hair-dryers-after-heated-blowback/?hpid=hp_hp-cards_hp-card-technology%3Ahomepage%2Fcard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samsdeadfishclub
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2015
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Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolclay1300
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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What did George Washington say to his men before they got in the boat?

Get in the boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/junto_x
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
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