Dad: "Wrong, son. He was just taking a political stand."
Well, itβs black and white.
The Coup Klux Klan
To protest the Unagi Ration.
Cause attempted sedan doesnβt have the same ring to it
I don't think anyone is shocked.
(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)
Dad: βWell Iβm no legal expert, but I suspect thereβd be some trees in there.β
Donald Trump said protesting was good, but he wanted no violins
... they could call themselves "The Cairo Chiro".
Ireland. It's Dublin every year.
The president, hiding in a secret bunker, ordered the city to be nuked to contain the outbreak, killing both zombies and civilians in the area.
After the strike, he went to celebrate with his wife, but she was sad.
"Honey, we just ended the zombie epidemic. Why are you sad?" he asked.
She responded: "You killed millions of civilians. How can I be happy if you no longer have a Seoul?"
This one was written in London.
...and Australia has the Outback Statehouse.β
I may have to do some krautfunding first
One does not simply walk into Mordor
I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.
That there was a new Gerard Butler movie: "Capitol Hill has Fallen"
It was, after all, a Capitol offense.
Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.
A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.
Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.
I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."
Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo
When to use a hyphen:
The test asked, "What is the capitol of Florida?"
I wrote, "F".
When I got my test back I learned: Apparently, the answer was "F - ".
He called it Stuck Auto.
It was a huge success and he found time to focus on his passion for martial arts founding a new school based on starting slow and building up speed. It's called Crush En Do.
It was most noticeably used by a section of the terrorist organization in the United States Capitol. They're known as the D.C. Al Coda.
It is pronounced Frankfort.
So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!
Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?
To book a rest!
Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:
I want to wreck ya vic!
Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?
Coz He'll sinky
What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?
Their Brunei
Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.
Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.
I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"
The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin
Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!
The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important
The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.
A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.
What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car
Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you
They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo
People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me
Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera
Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there
I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm
If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?
Because its the capitol of Hungary
Co-worker 1: "I sometimes think I should know more about Canada."
Co-worker 2: "I feel like if you know the capitol of Canada and the capitol of Ontario, you're ahead of 99% of Americans."
Me: "Yeah, that or Nunavut."
collective groan
So he opened a towing company called StuckAuto. It was successful and he made 3/4 times the money which allowed him to retire and focus on his passion for martial arts.
He founded a new style based on starting slow and building up known as Crush en Do. This style gained fame when it was found to be the chosen style of a terrorist group operating out of our Nations Capitol known as the D.C. Al Coda.
So I'm visiting Puerto Rico with my family (dad, mom, sister and I). One of the main attractions in San Juan is the Capitol building. After walking around for a while, I had to go to the bathroom. This is the exchange that ensued:
Me: Have you seen any bathrooms nearby?
Dad: Nope, no bathrooms around here.
Me: Ummm, why not?
Dad: Because all politicians are full of shit!
Groans were had all around
