The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the street.
Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How do you know which one’s a prostitute?
The one with the stickers that says IDAHO 😂
A magician is walking down a street...
Two men are going down the street, one runs into a bar..
A giant hole suddenly appeared in the street next to us.
The cops are currently looking into it.
It's a bit embarrassing to admit on here, but I was once attacked by a whole bunch of street Mimes..
..and they did some unspeakable things to me.
I hate taking this street during L.A Rush Hour. The traffic is killer.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
My career as a street fighter didn't last very long.
I broke my hand punching a curb.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
I saw a construction cone doing weird dances in the street and wearing a clown hat. I asked the construction crew that that cone is made from.
They replied, "sili-cone"
An ice cream van crashed in the street today
The whole area is coned off.
Two pretzels walk down the street.
A person sees someone walking in the street without a mask. Frustrated, he goes up to him, stops at two meters away and angrily mutters through his mask,
"People like you make me sick!".
My dog has been chasing a guy on a scooter down the street.
I took the scooter away from my dog.
I always wondered why the the bakery down the street went out of business.
It turns out they were using Naan starter.
An actual variation on a joke my father said.
A child and his father are walking down the street when the child asks...
"Dad, what does being drunk feels like?"
"Well son, you see those four trees over there? If you were drunk, you'd see eight trees."
"Dad, there are only two trees."
I tried street racing once and lost.
I was out of breath after two blocks, but the street kept going for miles.
I exercise by running up the street and knocking on all the doors....
I was out by the street trying to hitchhike but every single car I stuck my thumb out for just passed me by. I began to wonder if it had something to do with the cargo shorts I was wearing.
So I went home and put on some carstop shorts, and had much better success at hitchhiking after that.
I dropped my PB&J sandwich on the street the other day.
Street sweepers may seem slow, but they're actually really fast.
They're always going "broom, broom."
Did you hear that a judge has demanded Dr. Pimple Popper grab any person off the street and remove pus-filled sacs within their skin?
It's a seize and de-cyst order!
There was a kidnapping down the street.
I was offered to have a street named after me, but I said no because I remembered
No one crosses me and lives
Why did the goldfish 🐠 cross the street.
It did not because it can't walk.
What do you call an ex pimp who lives on the streets?
What covid vaccine did Sagat from Street Fighter take?
Pfizer!
Pfizer!
Pfizer!
Sagat Tiger
I was driving my new Toyota down the street and some kid said 'sick car'
I replied, "thanks, I'll get it tested for Corollavirus".
A magician was walking down the street
Then he turned into a shop.
I was walking down the street and I heard someone saying hello in Arabic.
Turns out it was a false salaam.
Yesterday I changed a light bulb, crossed the street and walked into a bar.
The prosthetics store down the street ran out of stock...
Things are really getting out of hand...
A guy stopped me in the street the other day to ask why I was carrying a 9ft book.
I said "It's a long story".
I said to my therapist that I feel a little paranoid with Back Street Boys, and he said...
I fell in love with my neighbor across the street.
It didn't work out. It was a lawn distance relationship.
I was asked who my favorite vampire is. I said “the muppet from Sesame Street”
They told me “he doesn’t count!”. I replied “I assure you he does”.
The wizard in my campaign just got handed a whole bunch of random, unlabeled Sesame Street videos.
He's going to learn how to count or spell.
I was walking down the street and ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
Why do asteroids have good street smarts?
Because they have comet sense
Two pretzels are walking down the street
When one is suddenly assaulted
A man is walking down the street
when he notices a hot, busty woman on the sidewalk. He approaches her and says, "I'll give you a thousand dollars if you let me bite your nipples." Naturally the woman was reluctant, but concluding that she really needed the money, she agreed. So they go into an alley, she lifts up her shirt and unhooks her bra. He proceeds to bury his face in her breasts, moving and shaking his head. After a full minute of this, she says, "Well? Aren't you going to bite them?" He walks away, saying, "Nah... that's too expensive."
I grew up on a street with a lot of friction
You could call it a rough neighborhood
A man is walking down the street holding a bag of pasta upside down...
And then the penne dropped.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
One day, two peanuts were walking down the street.
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