What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?

The Coup Klux Klan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobMV03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Good thing there are just the two doors to the US Capitol building

Cause attempted sedan doesn’t have the same ring to it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeugirdork
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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My dad got me while listing the legislative buildings of several countries. He said, β€œThe US has Capitol Hill, Germany has the Reichstag Building, the UK has the Palace of Westminster...

...and Australia has the Outback Statehouse.”

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
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What's the difference between Mordor and the Capital?

One does not simply walk into Mordor

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Did you hear about the Band Director who got fired and started a car towing company?

He called it Stuck Auto.

It was a huge success and he found time to focus on his passion for martial arts founding a new school based on starting slow and building up speed. It's called Crush En Do.

It was most noticeably used by a section of the terrorist organization in the United States Capitol. They're known as the D.C. Al Coda.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rannak
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoghead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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A band director got fired...

So he opened a towing company called StuckAuto. It was successful and he made 3/4 times the money which allowed him to retire and focus on his passion for martial arts.

He founded a new style based on starting slow and building up known as Crush en Do. This style gained fame when it was found to be the chosen style of a terrorist group operating out of our Nations Capitol known as the D.C. Al Coda.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rannak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2015
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A political dad joke

So I'm visiting Puerto Rico with my family (dad, mom, sister and I). One of the main attractions in San Juan is the Capitol building. After walking around for a while, I had to go to the bathroom. This is the exchange that ensued:

Me: Have you seen any bathrooms nearby?

Dad: Nope, no bathrooms around here.

Me: Ummm, why not?

Dad: Because all politicians are full of shit!

Groans were had all around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonJu4n
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
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