What's a fish say when it hits a brick wall?

Dam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skib900
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night

The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What did the fish say when it hit a brick wall?

Dam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TugBoatAugust
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A ton of feathers. You have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruebensrun1724
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Me: My wife injured herself lifting a brick reservoir above her head three days ago.

Coworker: How is she today?

Me: She's still holding up well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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We should raise the Lego bricks and help them to a normal Level of Respect!

They have been stepped on for far too long.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_German_Memer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Which weighs more, a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers?

The feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdolmiosauce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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There are 503 bricks....

There are 503 bricks on a plane, and one falls off, how many bricks remain?

502

This is a change joke and I made an animation about it. https://youtu.be/9Eaj94Z1rNc

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markom3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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My friend saw I was upset the other day and he said "It could be worse. You could be an irrigated hole in the ground surrounded by brick work that people use to get water"

It didn't help, but I knew he meant well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HarryGoLocky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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just a nether brick in the wall
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkblade_e
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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My friend has this weird habit where he gnaws at bricks when he visits someone’s home.

Doctors are calling it Munch housin’ syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What did the fish say when he bumped into a brick wall?

Dam

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?

Because he just couldn’t Lego.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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What do I have if I have 8 red LEGO bricks in one hand and 16 blue LEGO bricks in the other hand?

Really big hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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What did the bird say when it found a brand new brick wall?

"Simply impeccable."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sup-mr-stark
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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If a red house is made of red bricks and a blue house is made of blue bricks, then what is a green house made of?

Glass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kortbug2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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Why don't people, who constantly step on Plastic toy brick, just

LEGO of the pain?

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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A pound of bricks weighs more than a pound of feathers

In America you can buy a square foot of bricks for around $8.50. There are 7 bricks in a square foot, meaning you are buying each brick for about a $1.21. Today one dollar is 0.75 pounds, so $1.21 is about 0.92 pounds, meaning for a full pound you can buy 1.087 bricks for about a pound. Each brick weighs 5 pounds, which means 1.087 bricks weighs 5.435 pounds. Now on the other hand you many buy 48 feathers for one dollar in America , considering that one dollar is 0.75 ponds, you could buy 64 feathers. with one pound. Each feather weighs around 0.0003 ounces, which multiplied by 64 is 0.0192 ounces , which is 0.0012 pounds. 5.435> 0.0012. There you have it a pound of bricks weighs more than a pound if feathers .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Depressed_Citrus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.

They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigFootV519
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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Don't judge a brick by its color
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

Feathers, because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zerogivin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Bricks are the happiest construction materials.

They're always getting laid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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I was walking by some folks, that didn't seem to get how lopsided the brick wall they were making was...

So I leveled with them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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500 bricks on an airplane and one falls off. How many are left?

((To be played back and forth with a friend as questions and answers))

[499.]

What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Put elephant in. 3. Close door.]

What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Put giraffe in. 4. Close door.]

All the animals attend a birthday party for the king of the jungle, except one. Who didn’t attend? [The giraffe. He’s still in the refrigerator.]

A girl swims across an alligator infested river, but safely makes it to the other side. How was that possible? [All the alligators were at the birthday party.]

The girls still dies though, how come? [The one brick from the airplane fell on her head.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaShMa_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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When in college, I made a bookcase out of bricks and boards, which eventually fell to pieces...

It had a short shelf life!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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What did the fish say when he swam into a brick wall?

"DAM!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeeCeeRoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Ben Folds: β€œShe’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hippomaster6000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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I got fired from my job as a brick layer...

Apparently my work wasn't good qWALLity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J24cihpsd
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Hi, I’m brick
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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What do you call white thin bricks

Blank slates....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Citydoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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A brick fell out from an areoplane carrying 100 bricks. How many are left?
  1. A brick fell out from an areoplane carrying 100 bricks. How many are left?
  2. How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
  3. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
  4. The Lion King had a bid ceremony but only one animal that did not attend. What was the animal?
  5. An adventurer wanted to cross a river fulled with crocodiles. But he is not hurt after crossing the river. Why?
  6. The adventurer dies after he walked away from the river. Why?

Answers

  1. 99 left
  2. Open the fridge, put it in, close the fridge.
  3. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put it in, close the fridge.
  4. The giraffe.
  5. Because all the crocodile went to the ceremony.
  6. The brick fell on him and killed him.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SiowYY
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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A lorry carrying LEGO bricks overturned on the motorway.

The police say they don't know what to make of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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So I recently broke up with someone who was built from toy bricks...

But she's so hard to Lego

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryan_the_raging99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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A man tried to pass through a brick wall

...but one does not simply walk into mortar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chairfairy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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I’ve always wondered what a ton of bricks would feel like

And then it hit me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeTrickulous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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A dog used lived in a clay-brick house but was evicted for not paying his mortgage..

A Dobie's adobe abode owed dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfie_13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Bricks getting laid
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mangopojke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2017
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How did the brick learn how to get laid?

It went on a course.

Came up with this today while laying bricks :) Possibly a bit niche outside of a building site.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssumedPersona
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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What did the one brick say to the other brick?

Psst! I've just got laid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rush_dar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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The other day a cadmium brick fell onto my two middle fingers.

It was heavy metal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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What did the fish say when he swam into the brick wall.

DAM

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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