Oven fired clay?

How is pottery supposed to get a job now?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caelium44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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My daughter gave me some model clay earlier.

I didn’t know what to make of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arcadoodles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Plasticine is a mouldable clay like substance

I was a bit disappointed when trampoline turned out to not be a mouldable tramp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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If Cassius Clay used a Chinese app to send money, would you call it AliPay?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cephas11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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I suggested to the national park service we release clay pigeons back into the wild.

That idea was immediately shot down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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My doctor said that I might die because I accidentally consumed clay.

I'm shitting bricks to be honest.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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I was going to sculpt a human out of clay. I got the lower body and torso but ran out at the shoulders.

I didn't plan ahead

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coluber_kid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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Someone made a statue of Cassius Clay out of discarded rubbish

It was Litter Ali, a work of art.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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I'm getting really worried about all that clay I ate.

Seriously, I'm shitting bricks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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A dog used lived in a clay-brick house but was evicted for not paying his mortgage..

A Dobie's adobe abode owed dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfie_13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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My son's having his face moulded into clay.

I think he's getting a head of himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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What do you call a farting boxer?

Gaseous Clay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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One day, Anne decided to create some pencil and paper art. So she grabbed some of her chopped Terra Cotta and decided to create her art at a comedy club. There,

Anne Drew Diced Clay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueAidooo
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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What do you call Muhammad Ali when he reaches his boiling point?

Gaseous Clay!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdibleSteak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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The Mafia killed a man in a rice field because of a dispute over a small trinket

It was a knick-knack paddy whack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion – but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

β€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. β€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”

β€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. β€œLet us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

β€œI see”, said the student. β€œIt’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”

β€œThat’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. β€œYou just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”

His students registered dismay and anguish.

β€œIsn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

β€œAhm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. β€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

β€œSo you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, β€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. β€œAnd he”, he said, turning to his students, β€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomnommish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Who was the heavy weight champion of farts?

Gaseous Clay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rumblebeard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Muhammad Ali Walks Into A Bar
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halshing
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
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My professor just dedicated an entire 2-hour class to make ONE dadjoke.

Today was the first day of his class, Special Topics in Poetry. We walk in and there is a guest with some ceramic art. We thought we were gonna write poems about it or some shit, but then the professor says, "Welcome to special topics in pottery."

The whole class is like wat...?

Then the guest lady starts showing a powerpoint of some of her work and then we literally spent the whole class mushing clay and making bowls and shit.

To make things even dadder, he chuckled "poetry pottery heh heh heh" like we didn't get the joke and he had to explain it to us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ITasteLikePurple
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2016
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My friend is such a liar.

He showed me this clay pot, and told me that he uses it for slow cooking.

What a crock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryCredibleHulk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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What do you call a boxer who just ate Taco Bell?

Gassius Clay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dn151864
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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I asked my teenage daughter what book she was reading...

Daughter: Call Me by Your Name.

Me: Ok. Should I call you Clay or Dad?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenclubber
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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What floats like matter that has no fixed shape or volume and stings like a bee?

Gaseous Clay.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DocDerz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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My girlfriend loves me, I swear.

We've been watching the Flash, which is awful TV at its finest. You'd expect anyone to watch this to enjoy some good punnery, but that's not the case. I texted this to my girlfriend and got a condescending "Oh, honey..." in response.

My text: "If someone sculpted Barry Allen out of clay, you could call him Adobe Flash."

I swear she loves me but I don't always know why.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poorloko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2016
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My dad adopts an alter ego any time he farts

He starts shadow boxing and proclaiming he is "Gaseous Clay" and "he is the greatest"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jty87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2016
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What do you call a sore potter?

Clay Aiken

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AceFitz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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My daughter made me a waffle out of Play Doh

I put a bit in my mouth and she though it was super gross. I said "I love the taste of clay" and she retorts back "dad, it's not clay, it's Play Doh". I turned to my wife, who was already shaking her head and said "that's mere child's clay".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sethdare
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
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Dad joked bf during a manicure

Me: (putting clay mask on hands) If you gotta do anything with your phone, do it now with your left hand!

Bf: That's my texting hand, you started on the wrong hand.

Me: No. I started on the RIGHT hand.

-groans commence-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_believe_it
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
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I saw a bust of Cassius Clay made out of trash

Litter Ali

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats a can of beans?

Gaseous Clay

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalismetal5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report

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