If Cassius Clay used a Chinese app to send money, would you call it AliPay?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cephas11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
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I suggested to the national park service we release clay pigeons back into the wild.

That idea was immediately shot down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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I was going to sculpt a human out of clay. I got the lower body and torso but ran out at the shoulders.

I didn't plan ahead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coluber_kid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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My doctor said that I might die because I accidentally consumed clay.

I'm shitting bricks to be honest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Someone made a statue of Cassius Clay out of discarded rubbish

It was Litter Ali, a work of art.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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When Ancient Greeks used to mix the clay for their dwellings a rule of thumb was to mix it until it was the texture of Hummus before putting it on the interior walls

It’s quite well known that the Ancient Greeks championed Hummus Texturality

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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I saw a bust of Cassius Clay made out of trash

Litter Ali

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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I'm getting really worried about all that clay I ate.

Seriously, I'm shitting bricks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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A dog used lived in a clay-brick house but was evicted for not paying his mortgage..

A Dobie's adobe abode owed dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfie_13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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My son's having his face moulded into clay.

I think he's getting a head of himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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When you show your beautiful clay figure to your friends and they say it looks like shit ...

... I didn't knead to hear that.

(improved version of my former post)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoTomArrow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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When your clay figure ends up looking like a piece of shit ...

... I didn't knead to see that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoTomArrow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats a can of beans?

Gaseous Clay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalismetal5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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Muhammad Ali Walks Into A Bar
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halshing
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
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My professor just dedicated an entire 2-hour class to make ONE dadjoke.

Today was the first day of his class, Special Topics in Poetry. We walk in and there is a guest with some ceramic art. We thought we were gonna write poems about it or some shit, but then the professor says, "Welcome to special topics in pottery."

The whole class is like wat...?

Then the guest lady starts showing a powerpoint of some of her work and then we literally spent the whole class mushing clay and making bowls and shit.

To make things even dadder, he chuckled "poetry pottery heh heh heh" like we didn't get the joke and he had to explain it to us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ITasteLikePurple
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2016
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My friend is such a liar.

He showed me this clay pot, and told me that he uses it for slow cooking.

What a crock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryCredibleHulk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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What do you call a boxer who just ate Taco Bell?

Gassius Clay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dn151864
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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I asked my teenage daughter what book she was reading...

Daughter: Call Me by Your Name.

Me: Ok. Should I call you Clay or Dad?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenclubber
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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What floats like matter that has no fixed shape or volume and stings like a bee?

Gaseous Clay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DocDerz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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My girlfriend loves me, I swear.

We've been watching the Flash, which is awful TV at its finest. You'd expect anyone to watch this to enjoy some good punnery, but that's not the case. I texted this to my girlfriend and got a condescending "Oh, honey..." in response.

My text: "If someone sculpted Barry Allen out of clay, you could call him Adobe Flash."

I swear she loves me but I don't always know why.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poorloko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2016
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My dad adopts an alter ego any time he farts

He starts shadow boxing and proclaiming he is "Gaseous Clay" and "he is the greatest"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jty87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2016
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What do you call a sore potter?

Clay Aiken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AceFitz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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My daughter made me a waffle out of Play Doh

I put a bit in my mouth and she though it was super gross. I said "I love the taste of clay" and she retorts back "dad, it's not clay, it's Play Doh". I turned to my wife, who was already shaking her head and said "that's mere child's clay".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sethdare
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
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Dad joked bf during a manicure

Me: (putting clay mask on hands) If you gotta do anything with your phone, do it now with your left hand!

Bf: That's my texting hand, you started on the wrong hand.

Me: No. I started on the RIGHT hand.

-groans commence-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_believe_it
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
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What happens when a claymore (anti personal landline) explodes?

"It becomes a clay-less" my dad is literally the king of corny dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OC4815162342
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2013
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