How is pottery supposed to get a job now?
I didn’t know what to make of it.
That idea was immediately shot down
I'm shitting bricks to be honest.
I didn't plan ahead
It was Litter Ali, a work of art.
Seriously, I'm shitting bricks.
It’s quite well known that the Ancient Greeks championed Hummus Texturality
A Dobie's adobe abode owed dough.
I think he's getting a head of himself.
Gaseous Clay!
There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.
“Look at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. “Earth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”
“A new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. “Let us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.
“I see”, said the student. “It’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”
“That’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. “You just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”
His students registered dismay and anguish.
“Isn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.
“Ahm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. “Oh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.
“So you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, “Mah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”
Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. “And he”, he said, turning to his students, “is clearly the gradi
... keep reading on reddit ➡It was a knick-knack paddy whack
Gaseous Clay
Today was the first day of his class, Special Topics in Poetry. We walk in and there is a guest with some ceramic art. We thought we were gonna write poems about it or some shit, but then the professor says, "Welcome to special topics in pottery."
The whole class is like wat...?
Then the guest lady starts showing a powerpoint of some of her work and then we literally spent the whole class mushing clay and making bowls and shit.
To make things even dadder, he chuckled "poetry pottery heh heh heh" like we didn't get the joke and he had to explain it to us.
He showed me this clay pot, and told me that he uses it for slow cooking.
What a crock.
Gassius Clay
Daughter: Call Me by Your Name.
Me: Ok. Should I call you Clay or Dad?
Gaseous Clay.
We've been watching the Flash, which is awful TV at its finest. You'd expect anyone to watch this to enjoy some good punnery, but that's not the case. I texted this to my girlfriend and got a condescending "Oh, honey..." in response.
My text: "If someone sculpted Barry Allen out of clay, you could call him Adobe Flash."
I swear she loves me but I don't always know why.
He starts shadow boxing and proclaiming he is "Gaseous Clay" and "he is the greatest"
I put a bit in my mouth and she though it was super gross. I said "I love the taste of clay" and she retorts back "dad, it's not clay, it's Play Doh". I turned to my wife, who was already shaking her head and said "that's mere child's clay".
Me: (putting clay mask on hands) If you gotta do anything with your phone, do it now with your left hand!
Bf: That's my texting hand, you started on the wrong hand.
Me: No. I started on the RIGHT hand.
-groans commence-
Litter Ali
Gaseous Clay
