Archaeologists found the remains of the 12 apostles...
They're now called 'The 12 a-FOSSILS'
After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
How did the skeleton remain calm
Because nothing gets under there skin
Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?
How do you make sure your drug deals remain perfectly neutral?
You drop acid and touch base!
Something that remains twisted after being undone...
Approximately 95% of all ocean critters remain undiscovered.
The ocean keeps its sea crits.
I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer, and asked him whether I can sue the airline.
He said, “You don’t have much of a case.”
I went to an archaeology party where they were looking for remains of a lower leg
Why does a dad joke remain a dad joke?
What do you call a candle made up of the melted remains of other candles?
I've heard that after a beheading, one remains aware for a few seconds afterwards
If that ever happens to you, quit while you're ahead
Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular
The Tower of Pisa was trying hard to remain politically neutral...
...but it was leaning too far right!
Glass urns coming to the market now. How well they will sell? Remains to be seen.
My grandfather’s last wish was that we scatter his remains in the sea.
Everyone at the beach started freaking out though, because we didn’t cremate him.
For the longest time I couldn’t figure out how I tripped over the remains of that tree.
Son: what's that in the beer glass on the mantle? Me: well, that's your uncle Frank that's where he wanted his remains. It was his favourite beer stein. He always said it would be funny, never got why.
Son: maybe it's so he could be a frank in stein?
Me: Dammit Frank!
Dad: Thanks for doing your chores Emily, unlike some children who will remain unnamed
Son: tears welling up please give me a name dad I'm almost 17
Will they be popular? Remains to be seen.
When I die, I have two wishes. 1) Scatter My remains on my ex’s front lawn.
- Also, I don’t want to be cremated.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
After king Midas died, his subjects threw his remains down a watering hole.
They figured "might as well"
What do you call the petrified remains of a lion named Cow?
My dad just told me that Rick Astley voted remain in the referendum
Because he's never gonna give EU up
After trying to convince my dad that it's important for me to fix my piano so that I remain cultured...
"You will be fine, just eat some yogurt"
I went to an archeology party yesterday where they were only looking for remains of a lower leg
It was quite the shindig.
I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer, and asked him whether I can sue the airline.
He said you don’t have much of a case.
I took the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer and said, “I want to sue the airline!”
The lawyer said, “You don’t seem to have too much of a case.”
I showed my lawyer the damaged remains of my bag and asked him whether I can sue the airline.
He said, “You don’t seem to have much of a case.”
Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.
Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.
Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular
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