Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?

They are key workers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarBoobSale
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Something that remains twisted after being undone...

A twist tie!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GetItGotItProfIt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Approximately 95% of all ocean critters remain undiscovered.

The ocean keeps its sea crits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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I went to an archaeology party where they were looking for remains of a lower leg

It was quite the shindig

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdelisi18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Why does a dad joke remain a dad joke?

Because it’s dadicated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rezion77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What do you call a candle made up of the melted remains of other candles?

Frankincense

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer, and asked him whether I can sue the airline.

He said, β€œYou don’t have much of a case.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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I've heard that after a beheading, one remains aware for a few seconds afterwards

If that ever happens to you, quit while you're ahead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefrechiest_fry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Remains to be seen
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Remains to be seen!
πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aska11415
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Remains to be seen...
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nerfwarriors
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2017
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Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dainty_Shiv
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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Remains to be seen.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3bdilra7man
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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The Tower of Pisa was trying hard to remain politically neutral...

...but it was leaning too far right!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Glass urns coming to the market now. How well they will sell? Remains to be seen.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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My grandfather’s last wish was that we scatter his remains in the sea.

Everyone at the beach started freaking out though, because we didn’t cremate him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Son: what's that in the beer glass on the mantle? Me: well, that's your uncle Frank that's where he wanted his remains. It was his favourite beer stein. He always said it would be funny, never got why.

Son: maybe it's so he could be a frank in stein? Me: Dammit Frank!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boon904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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For the longest time I couldn’t figure out how I tripped over the remains of that tree.

I was stumped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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Dad: Thanks for doing your chores Emily, unlike some children who will remain unnamed

Son: tears welling up please give me a name dad I'm almost 17

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackson160
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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Will they be popular? Remains to be seen.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpooqd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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When I die, I have two wishes. 1) Scatter My remains on my ex’s front lawn.
  1. Also, I don’t want to be cremated.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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After king Midas died, his subjects threw his remains down a watering hole.

They figured "might as well"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrapesMckenzie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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What do you call the petrified remains of a lion named Cow?

Moofossil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cooldude9210
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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My dad just told me that Rick Astley voted remain in the referendum

Because he's never gonna give EU up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfb1337
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
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After trying to convince my dad that it's important for me to fix my piano so that I remain cultured...

"You will be fine, just eat some yogurt"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/llamasinhats
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
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I went to an archeology party yesterday where they were only looking for remains of a lower leg

It was quite the shindig.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DistortedWolf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer, and asked him whether I can sue the airline.

He said you don’t have much of a case.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark30322
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I took the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer and said, β€œI want to sue the airline!”

The lawyer said, β€œYou don’t seem to have too much of a case.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I showed my lawyer the damaged remains of my bag and asked him whether I can sue the airline.

He said, β€œYou don’t seem to have much of a case.”

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam2584
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youngfiga
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2017
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