Til that a keyboard never rests.

Only because it has two shifts

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/My_Blocks_Dropped
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
We gotta give these band puns a rest
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yakkattakk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
Stop! You're under a rest!!
πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xhas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
This one went by cold with the rest of the chat. Stone-cold.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoneblosom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
My son tried to make me a rest bed with a built-in water station, but the water kept squirting out.

I smiled and told him, "Hey, it's the cot that founts!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
Blew a bike tire on my way home. Had to push it the rest of the way.

What a drag

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slightlyinsanek8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
the rest of the world gradually contracted coronavirus. china got it right off the bat.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gid__rainey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
I do indeed rest my case
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oipussio
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
My Dr said I have to take these pills the rest of my life.

I said but the box says enough for 2 weeks?

The dr said.. that’s right.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
Your under a rest
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterWolf041
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Kills 99% of germs, the rest 1% cause bad puns.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiS
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the numbers

So far all I have is 9.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Rest assured.
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vens8
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Stop you're under a rest!
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/micah_amerson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
I rest my case
πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CODEdragonCal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Rest in Paste
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Rest in piece
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tsause
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
This pun is a step up from the rest
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
I rest my case
πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
The methadone clinic has cancelled urinalysis screenings for the rest of April

Unlike the grocery store, the clinic isn't adopting the "curbside pee-cup" system.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saltoftree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
I rest my case
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bruce_devine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
What is it called when in a group of nazis one nazi tries to find the rest of them

Heil and sieg

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TinzaX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
Ahh I rest my case
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lunardoesart28
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
My friend is such a slacker. He does his work and then loafs the rest of the day...

He's making good money being a baker tho...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
The good news is that you're going to live the rest of your life like a billionaire.

The bad news is .... it's Howard Hughes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 153
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ioannis_03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the rest of the NBA season have in common with the rest of the NHL season?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Everyone rest up today.

Tomorrow we begin a 31 day March.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign that said "Rest area 25 miles"...

I thought,wow, that's pretty big

πŸ‘︎ 141
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
In this time of crisis I believe it is our duty as a community to make a rapid respons team to help the rest of the world!

We will be known as the rapid respuns

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/van_-Dam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life?

The Doctor only gave him 4!...

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
There are 70 ways to be happy 1 is coffee and the rest is

69

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all the other letters are Not-Cs

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Rest in yeast
πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trilingual_Potato
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, does that mean they're guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CarsonLarson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're American when you go in the restroom and you're American when you come out. What are you when you're in the rest room?

European

πŸ‘︎ 940
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Magic_Milkman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m turning 50 soon and will tell people I’ve become part Roman for the rest of my life...

You know, because I’ll be a half century on...

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Titeman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Rest in peace boiling water.

You will be mist.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/meltedpickless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I will not rest until I find the cure ..

... for insomnia

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gavin_SunBreaker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
MOM: Look at all this work! I can't believe I have to be an adult for the rest of my life!

DAD: Not really hon. After 70 you can pretend to be senile, and be a kid again.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Waitress: Do you want a box for the rest of your food?

Dad: No. But I'll wrestle you for it!

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I could go the rest of my life without breathing.

It wouldn't be very long, but I could do it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exitmusic99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
So we’re driving down the road and I see rest area ahead. I say, hey kids

Speak now or forever hold your pee.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djmuhlestein
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
If the Queen of England farts during dinner, the rest of the guests must pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
This joke is Head & Shoulders above the rest.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I got home to find the rest of my family eating dinner. My son said "we'll you should have gotten home sooner", as he ate the last piece of ribeye.

I said "I guess that was my missed steak."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/virtual_no_body
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Jokes don't have to be original right? Cause I've only made up two jokes in my life. The rest are from things like this subreddit. XD
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SilverWaters793
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Rest in Pez
πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArbiterInqui
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
On the instructions of my ready meal it says "Rest for 5 minutes once cooked".

But I'm not tired at all.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter didn't want to eat her dinner so I said "Ok that's fine, technically you can go the rest of your life without eating."

"You'd starve to death but that technically was the rest of your life."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigaylowry
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
For the rest of your days
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GlitchGaminggirl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
If I refuse to rest, is that resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 323
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shwoopsx7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Doctor told me I won't be able to talk for the rest of my life.

I was speechless.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benjo1000113
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
"I make the rules in this house, son. You're going to have to listen to me for the rest of your life."

"You mean for the rest of your life, dad."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
"Rest In Peace" is a death sentence.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

That's naan ya business.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buskeran
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
This pun needs to be laid to rest...
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I climbed the ladder and fell at top, neatly coming to rest on my donkey!

I fell on my ass!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I rest my case.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œWhy do you always insist on walking ahead of the rest of us?”

I said, β€œSorry. I don’t follow.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Are lesbians Vegan? (Rest of pun in text)

because they dont like Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Okami
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw a sign that read," REST AREA 25 MILES"

I thought,wow,that's pretty big!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I rest my case
πŸ‘︎ 925
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zacharyangrk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons [xpost /r/trees]

This joke caters to the lowest common denominator.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zakmackay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
🚨︎ report
What does the rest of the alphabets say when they heard two letters became a couple ?

OK !

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
It's crazy how equestrians think they're so much better than the rest of us.

Get off your high horse, man.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bryansway
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I'd say this liquor is miles above the rest.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My son didn't want to take a nap, so I had to call the police because he was resisting a rest.
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bomber_Max
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
sir you’re under a rest
πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trevgotstacks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

For more jokes, please check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9vyikZJ58I

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigChrisDon
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Rest In Peace Steven hawking
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warturtle27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Needed a rest, so I went to the fracture clinic.

Turns out it was a good place for a break.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattgibbo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitReddit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
🚨︎ report
When my grandpa turned 70, he promised he would walk a mile every day for the rest of his life

It's been three years since then, and I have no idea where he is

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crowningwalrus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Rest in peace Opportunity...

You were to good for this world.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSouthernOcean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My uncle survived a freak storm at sea. He spent the rest of his life unemployed, telling taller and taller tales about it.

When he died penniless, he was living in squall lore.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Beef hanging from a butcher's ceiling is a cut above the rest.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I just had a pun about electricians stripping to make ends meet. I run a pun hashtag on my Facebook. Here are the rest. imgur.com/gallery/dkYzW
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saith_Cassus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Wife (just now): I'm going to try using the rest of the ground chicken to make meatballs for lunch.

Me (just now): I wish you cluck.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Doctor told me I needed to rest and shouldn't do anything except light housework

I said that sounds great, I love lighthouses!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisguysucks2much
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Kylo Wren and the rest of his flock [x-post /r/starwars] imgur.com/caQEIcA
πŸ‘︎ 203
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoobyBear22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
🚨︎ report
After AtatΓΌrk founded Turkey in 1922, he wanted to rest and put his feet up. But he couldn't.

There were no more Ottomans.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/korpsart
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cloraxbleach420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jihana13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œWhy do you always insist on walking ahead of the rest of us?”

I said, β€œSorry. I don’t follow.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSupraDixk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Why is C afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all of the other letters are not-C’s!

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Winfinity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
🚨︎ report

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