Very punny (places pun)
"I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'."
what is a Karen’s favorite place to drink?
Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.
This is because of a-coo-sticks.
Where's the best place to hide drugs in space?
Did you know the Norwegian Navy place bar codes on their ships?
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavyin.
Once, I agreed to help Death move his couch to his new place.
After we got there, I realized I forgot those things you’re supposed to sit on. There were reaper cushions.
What's a baby cow's favorite place to eat?
I don't know, but you can bet it's not a steak joint.
-And you thought I was going to say a calf-eteria!
Jeez, I went to Sweden because my wife wanted to but I didn't want to but now they closed their boarders and now that we went around the place and, I kinda like it
I guess I have Stockholm syndrome.
What's the place people want to visit the most?
The graveyard people are just dying to go there
Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but there’s a time and a place.
It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.
I once worked at a place where I had to use a pay-to-cross bridge 10 times a day...
Where is the best place to buy meat in India?
I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...
I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...
So my wife and I were driving through Pennsylvania today and drove by a place called Fort Necessity.
I looked at her and said “I’m trying very hard, but I don’t feel the need to go there”.
She didn’t say much to me the rest of our trip.
I think there’s a special place in hell for my friend Dante, because he’s always trolling animal rights activists.
What is a snakes favorite place to live ?
Despite curfews in place around the county, cops are out all night clubbing.
What was the name of the Jumanji sequel that took place on a plane?
What was the name of the Jumanji sequel that took place in Wuhan?
What was the name of the Jumanji sequel that took place in a fireplace?
This place has only a few workers.
They must have a staff infection.
What's the best place to hide if a murderer breaks into your house?
The puns at this Chinese place are out of control
Is it a bird? Is it a place?
I just hear about a new chicken fastfood place opening up in Ukraine
Where is the safest place to be in an earthquake?
Can someone help me with this crossword puzzle? 7 letters, starts with R, clue is "Taken away from original place or position"
What did the brewer say to the baker during shelter in place?
At yeast we have each other!
Police: We need to talk to your son about the fire at your neighbor's place
My wife got really mad at me when I told her that someone from the Jamaican Spice place was looking for her.
I said, “The jerk store called for you.”
Did you hear that the guy who got second place in that smoke machine design contest forgot how his prototype worked?
When they asked him about it, he said he didn’t have the foggiest idea.
This really deserves a place here
I went to my optometry clinic and said "I'm surprised this place isn't out of business yet......
I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood. He said, "everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,
The most remote place on earth
I cant believe that locksmiths aren't working in some places
They are key workers after all
With so many places in lockdown, there have been more people than ever learning origami.
You might say interest has been in creasing
The worst place to buy a chess set you ask?
The world has always been a horrible place
We just all have 20/20 vision to witness it this year.
A murder took place. Everyone witnessed the crime being committed.
They know it was E who brutally killed the man in question. They saw it. Against all previous odds of his record coming clear, people testified.
A jury was formed to try E on these alleged crimes. Due to the extreme gore of the crime scene and its explicit details, it was a closed hearing. After hours of trial and testimony, E emerged, innocent in the eyes of the court. He was absolved of all charges.
Everyone wondered how he managed to pull it off.
There is a reason he is called Mr E.
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.
We looked in every nook and granny!
If there’s one place I can’t stand...
So with this lockdown in place
Does this make us all homies?
What do you call a place where annelids work out?
If The Beauty and the Beast took place in America, "Beauty" would have to be from the South
Because she's a Southern Belle
Can you name 3 places in Scotland that are also the names of Grand Prix winning racing drivers?
Ayr Town Centre!!!
When dad took the family to Florida, we finally got to see the place his boat was docked as a child...
It was good to see dad's berth place.
What do you do if you break your leg in two places?
Never, EVER go back to those two places.
Once a year I celebrate getting a sleeping place all to myself.
Browsing reddit on mobile? Place your device on your body.
People usually say, “let’s blow this popsicle stand,” when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, “stick up their ass.”
Have you heard of a place where all the tall people gather to drink ?
the other day I was looking up secret places to work out
thought it would be pretty crappy, but there are a fair amount of hidden gyms
What's a terrorist's favorite place to eat?
My dad's just messaged me saying my mum noticed her eyebrows have gone today. He drew some rabbits in their place and sent me a photo..
Asking if they look like hares from a distance!
My friend found a sturdy piece of lumber to place within his guitar to improve the vibrations...
Might not be the appropriate place for this, but here is a bold take
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
My girlfriends place is filled with bees!
Antarctica is the only place left without the Corona virus
I guess because they are icelated.
What happened to the frog when it parked in the wrong place?
Why's a church the worst place to go during a war?
Because of all the pews.
pew, pew, pew pew pew!
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be…
A few weeks ago I was vacationing, but when I realized how serious the coronavirus was in this place
This place in Jakarta, Indonesia was a Taxi Pool last week
My friend's place is infested with ants, but he doesn't care.
When places ran out of toilet paper people started buying paper towel instead
What's a cat's favorite place to visit while in the middle East?
I place guitar picks on unsuspecting people
Why is the morgue the best place to work at a hospital?
They give you the coroner office.
Where is the cleanest place to sit?
Harry Potter is a good place for puns
Since the government's instituted shelter-in-place orders, lions have been roaming main street...
Is this the right place for this?
Where is the best place to work if you only have one leg?
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think it’s nuts.
I bet you any money I could beat Mike Tyson. Any time. Any place.
Beat him at chess, that is.
Dylan's girlfriend broke up with him and told her she needed some time apart but Dylan went looking for her place anyway.
I guess he didn't know what apartment.
Where’s the best place to go when you’re broke?
(Courtesy of Dave Ramsey)
Why do less marriages take place in winter
Because most of the brides get cold feet.
What do you call steak from a sketchy place?