Very punny (places pun)
"I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'."
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︎ Nov 19 2018
Guess its not my place then
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︎ Jun 06 2021
Looking for just the right place to hang this.
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︎ May 23 2021
In surgery my doctor said, "So what do we have here?" I replied that I broke my arm in 12 places."
He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"
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︎ May 08 2021
Guys, make your woman feel special. Place a framed photo of her in the kitchen...
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Why would Adolf hit Ler in the first place tho?
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︎ May 21 2021
Shouldn't the sequel to "A Quiet Place" be called
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︎ May 28 2021
What did the cook say when he saw his new work place?
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︎ May 29 2021
My son's math's teacher was away so the head of school had to step in and take her place.
It's the principal that counts.
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︎ May 21 2021
A bank is a place which will loan you money...
....if you can prove you don't need it.
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︎ May 24 2021
I heard that a gang based in Los Angeles is creating paper money with pictures of the founder's foot's digits in place of presidents...
I dunno if the Crip-toe currency will take off or not.
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︎ May 19 2021
What is a robotβs favourite place to eat?
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︎ Apr 24 2021
What do you call a place that makes textbooks
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︎ May 26 2021
Imagine if Aladdin took place in Italy and when he finally finds the lamp and gives it a good rub, out pops...
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︎ May 04 2021
As we're driving through an industrial area, kid asks, "Why does this place smell terrible?"
Me: It's an olfactory response.
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Feel like this is the appropriate place for me to post this
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︎ Apr 03 2021
How come they call a place where horses are kept a "stable"β¦
And not a neigh-bourhood?
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Why canβt a boat leave from two places at once?
Because that involves a paradox.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
What is a chick's favourite place to eat?
Anywhere, as long as its cheep
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︎ Apr 07 2021
What is a cow's favorite place to go to?
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︎ Apr 03 2021
Always the last place you look
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︎ Mar 20 2021
2 women in a restaurant, when a duck walks in with a huge bunch of flowers. He places them on the table and says,
"You two ladies are so beautiful with sparkling eyes. "
One of the women stopped him, called the waiter over and said, I ordered AROMATIC duck."
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︎ May 10 2021
What is the worst place to hide in a hospital?
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︎ May 02 2021
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
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︎ Apr 20 2021
I told my doctor I thought my arm was broken, in several places.
He said "Well, you should probably avoid those places in the future."
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︎ Feb 19 2021
What do you call a place where brass musicians hang out and drink?
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︎ May 10 2021
The sandwich place near me doesn't have any employees
Apparently they are all subcontractors
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︎ May 08 2021
How did the Romans make sure they nailed Jesus to the cross in exactly the right place?
they drilled a Pilate hole.
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Finally, a place to share this!
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︎ Apr 02 2021
Wife: Dad, stop using the name Peter in the place of Penis. One day the kids will meet a kid named Peter.
Me (husband): I agree. This should be kept private.
Wife: groan...
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︎ May 01 2021
"My wife's going to a nice place in the Caribbean." "Cool. Jamaica?"
Nah. She made the decision on her own.
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Italy is a boring place to visit
All you can do is rome around
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︎ Apr 04 2021
One day Sven was walking past Ole's place and noticed a sign that said Boat For Sale.
Sven went up to the barn and said "Ole, I see da sign in your yard. All you have is a tractor and a combine". Ole said "Yep, and der boat for sale!"
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︎ Apr 16 2021
The perfect place to cross.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
What is a ghosts favorite place to work?
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Initially, I despised sheltering in place, but now I love it!
I think itβs Stuck-home Syndrome
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︎ Apr 18 2021
What did the cloud get for finishing in fourth place?
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︎ Apr 22 2021
Wife: Babe you keep putting the remote in random places...
Me: Correction, I keep putting the remote in "remote" places. That's where it belongs right?
I got a eye roll and a sigh, score.
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︎ Mar 13 2021
I donβt usually brag about going to expensive places..
But I just left the gas station.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
Finally, a place to share this!
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︎ Apr 02 2021
Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....
.....the mammothematician.
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︎ Apr 25 2021
How do you put a gun in it's place?
You tell it that the world does not revolver- round you.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
I visited a place with no internet
There was something amish
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Which part of a hospital is the best place to play hide and seek?
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︎ Mar 21 2021
A remote place
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︎ Nov 27 2020
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in 2 places
He told me to stop going to those places.
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︎ May 02 2021
As we're driving through an industrial area, kid asks, "Why does this place smell terrible?"
Me: It's an olfactory response.
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π
︎ Apr 18 2021
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