What is a highlighter's favorite Twister position?

Knee on yellow.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheelay_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
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What religious positions are open for women?

Nun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonservia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17
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I have two jokes, one on momentum and another on the position of a particle.

but I can tell only one of them

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karan-sandhu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
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Recently, I've resigned from my position as a tunnel drill operator.

The job was boring.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b3rkath
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
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Can someone help me with this crossword puzzle? 7 letters, starts with R, clue is "Taken away from original place or position"

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishslap
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
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Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?

More geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerspoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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I have a fear of being under something dirty but no one gets my position.

No one ever under stained...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GongBreaker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pastry that announces its own position on a subject?

A Chocolate Declaire

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firthmaxion
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...

They really need a hair traffic controller.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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β€œDad, when you were in college, what was your position on marijuana?”

Dad: Slumped in a beanbag chair, mostly.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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My position at work was eliminated and is now being done by a robot.

I guess you could say that I’m jobsolete.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alx924
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
My buddy Jesus got promoted to a supervisory position and I got to choose the music for his promotion party.

I went with "Your Own Personnel Jesus"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KatLikeGaming
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Posted pic of my dog in weird position and got this.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awsomedude45677
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend β€œWhy I have to change my position every time?”

He replies β€œI know, this sub is full of reposts”

πŸ‘︎ 227
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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Is it the position of the full stop or going to prison is better than marriage?
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/star72846
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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People are starting to get angry, there’s too many who want my position, too many after my seat.

I think I better leave the toilet now.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poshpringles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Why do Mexican men get better positions out of college?

Because they can apply for seΓ±or positions

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComedyLover21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve peaked. My girlfriend and her friend are both leaving their current jobs for better positions. This is the best joke I’ve ever made.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T3hN1nj4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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What’s Pinocchio’s favorite position?

Lying

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkieFall2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Doggie style is a position

I can get behind

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artiquecircle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The knight had many standing positions for masturbating to chose from

Depending on the circumstances

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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Why do they call it the cowgirl position?

Isn't it kind of rude to call her a cow?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neetlow
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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If x = the main character of a story, how do you determine the position of x?

With the exposition.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJCray8
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a guy who sells chairs designed for use in waiting rooms. He has a very high-level position.

He's the chair man of the bored.

πŸ‘︎ 583
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wdn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
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My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. β€œQuit hurting your mother.” I said β€œ You’re grounded!”

β€œGo to your womb!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thor_loop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A recruitment agency phoned me up. 'Can you tell me what your ideal position is?' asked the woman, very politely.

Apparently, 'legs up on the sofa' wasn't the answer she was looking for.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife to try a new sex position but she refused

I guess you can’t teach an old pawg new tricks

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torontroll
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Notre Dame is adding a new position to its football team?

Hunchback.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anonymouspimp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the dermatologist lose his position at the hospital?

He made too many rash decisions.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A knight that's specializes in sexual positions.

Sir Cum Stances

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imhereforthetacos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2014
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A bearded man applied to a position that required him to be clean shaven.

At the job interview, the manager of the company greeted the applicant and upon noticing his facial hair, promptly asked the man how attached he was to the beard.

The man, tugging on his facial hair, replied β€œvery.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AKAPolock
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
The coach asked his quarterback to consider switching positions after an interception

He said β€œI’ll pass”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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Has the arthropod emery board position been filled yet?

Because if not I'd like to file a bug

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutoid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
🚨︎ report
After interviewing people for a position at my work

I asked a co-worker about her thoughts on the guy we just interviewed:

Her: I think it's a go, but I've having some reservations.

Me: Why? He's not a restaurant.

she laughed, but others within earshot groaned

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeluxeTea
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
🚨︎ report
What position would Luke Skywalker play on the Star Wars hockey team?

X-Wing

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tavissd1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
🚨︎ report
Finally proving my position as a dad!

My son and I got a pizza tonight, and as we were leaving my son saw a can of orange sunkist that had been run over by a car tire and said "hey dad look at this Sunkist!" And I replied "looks more like a crush to me!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Markmywordsone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2015
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad what position he played in high school football

"I played left out"

"What do you mean left out"

"I was always left out"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gsfield
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Finally read my daughter's PhD about types of wheels and none of her evidence supports her position.

Turns out she's just a spin doctor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
🚨︎ report

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