What sex position makes the ugliest babies?
I started a petition to swap the position of "a" and "n" in the alphabet.
No one took me seriously when I said
If Father Christmas played soccer, what position would he play ?
Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic's sister, Ana, agreeing with her friend Ally about the positions of body parts
What is a highlighter's favorite Twister position?
If Karen had a job, what would her position be?
Head of the chain of demand.
What religious positions are open for women?
My wife left her position as a Geologist to pursue her dream as a tennis coach...
...She went from studying faults to double-faults.
I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called “69 Mating Positions”.
Turns out it’s about Chess strategies.
If Frodo was the President of the Fellowship, what position would Gandalf have?
I just got a senior management position at Old McDonald’s farm
I have two jokes, one on momentum and another on the position of a particle.
but I can tell only one of them
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?
Recently, I've resigned from my position as a tunnel drill operator.
Can someone help me with this crossword puzzle? 7 letters, starts with R, clue is "Taken away from original place or position"
I have a fear of being under something dirty but no one gets my position.
No one ever under stained...
What do you call a pastry that announces its own position on a subject?
With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...
They really need a hair traffic controller.
“Dad, when you were in college, what was your position on marijuana?”
Dad: Slumped in a beanbag chair, mostly.
My position at work was eliminated and is now being done by a robot.
I guess you could say that I’m jobsolete.
My buddy Jesus got promoted to a supervisory position and I got to choose the music for his promotion party.
I went with "Your Own Personnel Jesus"
A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend “Why I have to change my position every time?”
He replies “I know, this sub is full of reposts”
Posted pic of my dog in weird position and got this.
Is it the position of the full stop or going to prison is better than marriage?
I’ve peaked. My girlfriend and her friend are both leaving their current jobs for better positions. This is the best joke I’ve ever made.
People are starting to get angry, there’s too many who want my position, too many after my seat.
I think I better leave the toilet now.
Doggie style is a position
Why do Mexican men get better positions out of college?
Because they can apply for señor positions
What’s Pinocchio’s favorite position?
The knight had many standing positions for masturbating to chose from
Depending on the circumstances
I know a guy who sells chairs designed for use in waiting rooms. He has a very high-level position.
He's the chair man of the bored.
Why do they call it the cowgirl position?
Isn't it kind of rude to call her a cow?
If x = the main character of a story, how do you determine the position of x?
My wife is weeks pregnant. Lately the position of the baby has been hurting her tail bone. I had my face down by the belly, and my wife told me to talk to it. “Quit hurting your mother.” I said “ You’re grounded!”
A recruitment agency phoned me up. 'Can you tell me what your ideal position is?' asked the woman, very politely.
Apparently, 'legs up on the sofa' wasn't the answer she was looking for.
Did you hear that Notre Dame is adding a new position to its football team?
I asked my wife to try a new sex position but she refused
I guess you can’t teach an old pawg new tricks
A knight that's specializes in sexual positions.
Why did the dermatologist lose his position at the hospital?
He made too many rash decisions.
The coach asked his quarterback to consider switching positions after an interception
A bearded man applied to a position that required him to be clean shaven.
At the job interview, the manager of the company greeted the applicant and upon noticing his facial hair, promptly asked the man how attached he was to the beard.
The man, tugging on his facial hair, replied “very.”