Internship Puns

It’s my induction day.

A preoccupation.

...I think I'm suffering from post-part-time depression.

"Study abroad? I'd study a broad."

My dad pulled one on my brother when he was going to an interview for an internship with UPS (delivery service).

"What does the UPS guy say when he drops a package?"

"What?"

"Oops"

Laughed too hard at first because I thought it was some sort of anti-joke. But nope, just a lame pun. Stay classy, pops.

Last night my family was on speaker phone with my grandpa, and told him about my internship this summer with a large potato chip company.

Grandpa: "Well that is great news, and if you ever decide to live out a life of religious vocation, you can make potato chips for the whole monastery!"

Me: "Yeah, I suppose I could do that"

Grandpa: "You know what they would call you then, don't ya? They call that the chip-monk"

I just started an internship at a newspaper in May and I haven't met many people, yet. The other day this woman talked to me and at the end of it she says, "My name is Joanne, by the way." And without hesitation, I reply, "That's an interesting last name." Needless to say, she didn't understand and I just looked completely stupid. I will not make friends fast here.

I started my internship today at an environmental consulting firm. My boss was introducing me to a colleague.

Boss: "This is Ellie-okay, he's the summer intern and he's studying civil engineering."

Colleague: "I can tell, he's very polite."

All the guys around his cubicle groaned while the three of us let out a big laugh. I think I'm gonna like working here.

Been working an unpaid internship for the last three months. Tonight is the company's party for their 5th anniversary in business.

Dad: "Are they gonna cover your drinks."

Me: "I sure hope so. If it's not open bar, I'll be pissed."

Dad: "No you won't, you'll be sober."

Shoulda seen that one coming...

So at my internship I have to go through these massive cabinets and sort out hundreds of drills, endmills, boring bars etc. While I was finishing a tray of tap drills my boss comes up and says "Are you having any fun yet?" Without a beat I say "Honestly I'm about ready to tap out..." I could hear his groan above the noise of the machines in the shop.

So I was telling my father that I was considering applying to Carroll college.

Him: Where are they again? Me: Helena, Montana. Him: Oh, awesome! You can probably get a really good internship at their big handbasket company! Me: What? I didn't know they made baskets there. Him: Really? You haven't ever heard of Helena Handbasket?

After having completed his internship on bowel diseases, he was talking about the primary function of the colon. When he was finished, I helpfully added that the colon has the added purpose of indicating that you were about to start a list. "For example, 'colon', item one, item two, item three..."

The groan/glare he gave me was quite a reward!