A man attends a funeral for his best friend. He approaches the grieving widow, gestures to the podium and asks; "May I say a word?" The widow responds "Of course.."

The man stands up and speaks "Plethora." and steps back down.

"Thank you..." says the Widow, "that really means a lot."

EDIT The responses here are incredible! ๐Ÿ‘Œ

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 173
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lady_emily_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 28 2021
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Donโ€™t judge a meal by the look of the first course.

Itโ€™s very souperficial.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 22 2021
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Of course I talk to myself

Sometimes I need expert advice

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BurstIntoBlue
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 02 2021
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I took a crash course on driving

And yet they blame me for the car accident

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JoesMemories
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 22 2021
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My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.

She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/awesome_smokey
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 18 2021
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"Crash Course."
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/whyyoutookmyname
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 23 2020
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Subway just opened a golf course

I hear itโ€™s subpar..

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jmfinfrock
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 08 2021
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So a bear walks out of the woods onto a golf course

The golfers didn't want to bear with him about the whereabouts of Tiger Woods and ran towards another bearing.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jimalexp
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 29 2021
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A farmer attempted to tow a load of manure down the interstate at 5 pm. Of course, it caused a crash and traffic jam...

I can't believe he tried to pull this shit!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 11 2021
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Of course, this never happened, but we can dream!
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/orlanthi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 08 2021
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I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course.

Iโ€™m really struggling to get out of it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/adfunk101
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 06 2021
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I had to undergo a 6 week course of radiotherapy last year on my salivary glands.

Every week, I had an appointment with a doctor where they would ask me about my health. They would ask me the same usual questions. This is how it would go:

Dr: Do you get a dry mouth?

Me: Yes but I drink water to compensate.

Dr: Any issues with hearing?

Me: Sorry?

Dr (louder): any issues with hearing?

Me: Beg your pardon?

Dr starts laughing

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kishenoy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 04 2021
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of COURSE hp lovecraft chose a fishing village for a setting (innsmouth)

...the deep ones are also called the many-anglered ones, after all ;)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/berninicaco3
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 01 2021
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Did you hear the one about Austin Richard Post? Oh, of course have.

This is a Re-Post Malone joke.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/iMakeCrap
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 26 2021
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25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sevohanian
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 09 2020
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Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.

Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BetterThanOP
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 05 2021
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Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, thereโ€™s a long break in the ledge they canโ€™t cross. โ€œSomething for this I have.โ€ Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yodaโ€™s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yodaโ€™s garden.

โ€œSomething I have for this.โ€ Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yodaโ€™s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. Heโ€™s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

โ€œThatโ€™s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. โ€œIโ€™ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.โ€

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

โ€œMaster Yoda!โ€ he asks. โ€œWhat did I do wrong?โ€

Yoda replies sagely, โ€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 04 2020
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Do you know the musician who enrolled in a programming course?

He said it was a major improvement to his C# skills, it also augmented his C+ code.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ordinary_shiba
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 12 2021
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Just enrolled on a topiary course....

Certainly a cutting hedge technology.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 31 2021
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After copying the Greeks and Etruscans of course
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MetropolisCourier
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 16 2020
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Scientifically speaking, of course.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TheMcPenguin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 19 2020
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I hate my math class probability course

What are the odds?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AceBalistic
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 09 2020
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Breaking news: a man has just been arrested for completing an origami course backwards..

We will update you as the situation unfolds.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 188
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Micktheprivz
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 05 2020
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Of โ€œCourseโ€ he did
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Musical-Comic-69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 08 2020
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Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/orlanthi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 28 2020
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A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked โ€œwhat happens if the ball lands in the houseโ€

The dad said โ€œitโ€™s a home-in-oneโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/isaiah2rod
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 14 2020
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I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses

But I couldn't ignore the red flags any longer.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/katskratched
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 22 2020
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Who is the best person at the golf course to get to make coffee?

The groundskeeper!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ravendemyseri
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 21 2020
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I told my bowmen that I would pay anytime they need to get some practice in at the course.

Theyโ€™re free range archers now.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/blg111222
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 11 2020
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Need some good puns when I whip this bad boy out on the course today. Help me out you geniuses!
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mac-n-treez
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 03 2020
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Names redacted for anonymity, of course.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 246
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/LordOysteryn
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 12 2020
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Mario failed his online course

Because of his Internet Bowser

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Slymood
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 25 2020
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Thereโ€™s a new drug going around that is nicknamed โ€œangleโ€. My friends want to try it with me, but I took a D.A.R.E. course and donโ€™t want to do drugs, so my friends make fun of me.

I guess Iโ€™m just too square to try angle.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PopTarnekPop
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 17 2020
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I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...

... I found the work oft-putting.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/youtellmebob
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 22 2020
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of course not
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 110
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dumboooo_
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 05 2020
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Of course, you can't visit it just now.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 136
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/orlanthi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 11 2020
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am I right ? of course Im on the left wing :D
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cihan_emre
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 29 2020
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In my graphic design course, we all had to make typefaces inspired by our favorite US cities, and present them in class.

We all knew that at some point, weโ€™d have to discuss the LA font in the room.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HuecoTanks
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 14 2020
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The hurdler was having a hard time with the course.

His coach told him to just get over it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Sir_Pluses
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 05 2020
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Of course He is risen

Helium ~is~ lighter than air

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 46
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/over_weight_potato
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 13 2020
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What did the raindrop say to the cloud that went off course?

โ€œWater you doing?โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/3eemo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 18 2020
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I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.

That has always been my Achillesโ€™ elbow.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 10 2018
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Of course he wood
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/themdonuts
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 24 2020
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I can't believe I failed my HVAC course...

I studied asbestos I could...

Probably should have insulated my grade a little better...

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ItsaSnap
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 05 2020
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Of course I'm not. I'm going to stay at home. That has nothing to do with the lockdown though!
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/orlanthi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 03 2020
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