If you’re here for the yodeling lesson

Please form an orderly, orderly, orderly queue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/butmuhfreedoms
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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One of the earliest dates I went on with my Wife was a Blindfolded Archery lesson.

It wasn't our first date but was the one that stuck in my head.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoElseButAlf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, β€œWhat are all these buttons for?”

β€œThey are to keep your shirt done up” he replied.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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He needs a few more lessons
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My wife sees Satan every weekend for evil lessons.

I have no idea how much she charges.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I was trying to give my son a lesson on averages the other day,

He stood up halfway through and said "Dad, I really don't know what you mean."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobletGoblet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...

My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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i started taking lessons on rock climbing

Hopefully soon i get the hang of it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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A guy in work asked why my son had given up his flying lessons.

I told him pilot jobs aren't really taking off at the moment.

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbounce74
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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Kid started virtual decimal lessons today.

It was in tenths.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoyznGirlznBabes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I remember, when i was a teacher, a student came up and said 'hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson?'

I just looked right through him. Mad world innit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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What do you call a classroom lesson on serial killers?

A Hannibal Lecture!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Kids, little bit of a lesson for you. Time flies like an arrow.

And fruit flies like a banana.

πŸ‘︎ 700
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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History lessons

When I fight with my wife, she keeps getting historical.

You mean, hysterical, right?

No, she keeps bringing up the past

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/checker280
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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I decided to spend the lockdown months taking online lessons on escapology.

I need to get out more.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Got bored on history lesson
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k0k0nut3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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A "common" math lesson explained (xpost from r/wooosh)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDako
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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My son missed curfew again, so to teach him a lesson, I made him remove all the kudzu out back.

It was de-vine punishment.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SgtBoaty
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Even though my baby poops a lot, I feel like the life lessons he’s been teaching me are invaluable.

He’s a great tooter.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fkedifiknow
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Four Worms and a lesson

A Southern minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol -Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke -Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Life Lesson
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Swimming lessons
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cow_Tse_Tongue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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History Lesson

History Lesson

In the Middle Ages people who had troublesome daughters sent them to nunneries so as to do something with their lives. However, doing that was a bit expensive so poorer families sent their daughters to become an anchorite. So for those families, becoming an Anchorite was second to nun

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeagaMillion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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What do you call a lesson on turtles?

A turtorial

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EoinM17
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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I learned an important historical lesson after I visited Mount Rushmore.

The best American Presidents were stoned.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Stop giving children biblical names without Bible lessons

Yesterday I was robbed by Moses

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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I went to a lesson about shelled amphibians.

They tortoise a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_OrangeJu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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I put the new engineer in charge of driving the locomotive despite without having lessons on how to drive it...

I figured he would do well with on the job training. He went off the rails and wrecked. I don't need to mention about his conduct during the process.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Spooky Stats from my online lesson today imgur.com/a/O5IJJSW
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/usdsquare
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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My daughter was so angry with me when I told her I got her piano lessons

That's when I found out she was prone to violins

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Prismatic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
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[X-Post from r/Tiresaretheenemy] They do it to teach the others a lesson! imgur.com/OmRL6l6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pattyomalley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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I used to hate my guitar lessons

I always fretted going to them.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fr34k_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
An Astronomy Lesson

One of the most interesting objects in the night sky is a fuzzy patch of stars known colloquially as the β€œSeven Sisters”. In order to find it, first find the constellation Orion, and follow the direction his Bow is shooting.

No thanks necessary, we aim to Pleiades.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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Lesson learned: Don't ask IT guys for help
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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History lesson

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TibtibThePrincess
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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My daughter told me she learned a valuable life lesson in Spanish class today.

No means no.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jujutsujoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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A true history lesson

While the king was trying to decide what to name its guards, his wife walked into the room. She said β€œhoney, I’m going to bed.” The king was preoccupied with his thinking and shortly said β€œk. Night.” Then moments later went β€œbabe you’re a genius! Knight!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayleigh2020
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t get into my group music lesson today

I found out I was band

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Topasappa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
One whole lesson of boredom later...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bongripper98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
🚨︎ report
All morons need a lesson.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaintenanceCall
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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Four hundred years ago, the pagan minority in Salem learned a valuable lesson about dealing with religious fanaticism

Be careful what you witch for

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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When God was integrating Planet Earth, he suddenly recalled his Calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
If you’re here for the yodelling lessons...

Please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/f-a-c-e
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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If you are here for the yodeling lesson, please form a

orderly orderly orderly queue

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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I went to my first yodeling lesson last week.

The receptionist said, "If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue".

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ocbrad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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