Today's school pun

So today in school we were went on dates with energy (we were given a random energy and fact about them) so I said "I sure hope I get geothermal because then they'd be hot...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatosalad2007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalJunkie101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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school has really reminded me of english classes and writing a bunch of these
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattybanatty
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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Why did the tree drop out of school?

He kept failing twigonometry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
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A school collapsed on itself during school hours. When did it happen?

After math.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsonDaSushiChef
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
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In school I was really bad at math. As a matter of fact,

I failed so many times, I can’t even count.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Going to school to learn how to Google+
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mich_mic
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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What did the momma buffalo say to her baby buffalo on his way to school.

Bi-son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MooMoooCows
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
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I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers!!

What are the odds?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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Why did the dog do so well in school?

Because he was the teacher’s pet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NorthCompetition4
πŸ“…︎ May 24
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I recently found out that in most schools nowadays ...

Brass instruments are band.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
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Why was the school teacher busted?

He was trying to do some meth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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When I was in school I got asked, "What is 3000 converted into Roman Numerals ?"

I replied, "Mmm...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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You know a school paper is a very rough draft when...

...it is rough enough to use as sandpaper.

You're going to need all the luck in the world to get an A on that paper.

Note: I was not sure if this should go in dadjokes or another joke sub-reddit.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
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What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

Bison

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hemihilex
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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"I was teaching my son colours while I drove him to school."

"Primary?"
"No, he's in college."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 19
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For anyone that's not 'overall' the details for school
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
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What was the name of the janitor at the French marine biology school?

Jacques Custodian

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πŸ“…︎ May 24
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Where does a person go after high school?

Home

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πŸ“…︎ May 17
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Viennese school of rock
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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My son went to a good school before the shutdown.

But now his school is virtually the best.

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πŸ“…︎ May 19
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My son gets to play a frosted cinnamon biscuit in the school play!

It's a sweet role!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
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My wife volunteers as a school crossing guard.

I tell everyone she’s into human trafficking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
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I was ok with Algebra, Geometry, and Trigonometry when I was in high school.

But I reached my limit with Calculus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
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Why did the fish fail school?

He was below c level

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oisgray
πŸ“…︎ May 13
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I had a crush on my science lab partner, then she left the school

I lost My Chemical Romance

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Wizards go to school to learn how to spell.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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I told my son, "Have you heard that they're shutting down all food resources in schools, so that children can't eat?"

"Canteens?" he asked.

"No, it doesn't matter what age," I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?

I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Photog77
πŸ“…︎ May 10
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's okay, he woke up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blupilisih
πŸ“…︎ May 11
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By the time my brother got out of the 4th grade, we all knew what he was gonna be when he left high school

32

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrChiggs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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A Firefighter ran into a school holding a screwdriver and yelled...

Quick, everyone get out, this is NOT a drill!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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My high school did a musical of a guy taking a girl out to dinner...

It was a play-date!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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A joke I thought of in elementary school: what did the dragon say to the bad employee?

You're fired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mahare
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, "Don't be silly!"

"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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What's the first letter turkeys learn in school?

Gobble-u

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beliadin
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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Have you heard about the guy who got in trouble for making a pun at school?

He was Pun-ished

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taha812
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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I got kicked out of school for getting married.

I was going for my bachelor’s degree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
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Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds

Anyhow today I lost my job at the aquarium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
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I've been getting into a lot of trouble at school recently, so my dad asked to have a word in private

He turned to me and said, "Parwiovradte."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastProtagonist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s ok, he woke up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buffsmike
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
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Why was Hitler rejected from art school?

They did nazi his artistic talent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/realsuperguy199
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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At first, I was afraid I was petrified. Kept thinking, I could never live without that post school drop off ride. Bet then I spent so many nights thinking, how you did me wrong.

And I grew strong and I learned a schoolless day is just so long. Go on now, go, walk out the door, please go to school now. 'Cause you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one, who each school day said goodbye? But now I think I'll crumble? And I'll lay down and die? Oh, no, not I, I will survive Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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In high school, I never went to those anti-drug programs.

I didn't D.A.R.E.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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My son is playing the clarinet for a school concert this evening

It’s a good thing his bedroom is soundproof

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mercolorecords
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
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I was thrown out of music school for plagiarism.

They thought I was stealing songs, but I was just taking notes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ukelele_pancakes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
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8yo nephew's an early bloomer. Gets home, tells his dad, "There was a kidnaping at school today." Dad: "What!?!" 8yo, dead serious, -

"It's okay, dad... He woke up." Doesn't even smile. Walks away.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NemoKozeba
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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What did the buffalo say to his son at the school dropoff?

Bison

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hrishic2327
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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Three of my high school's percussionists were all involved in a torrid affair regarding the geometric shaped piece of metal...

It was an odd love triangle...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
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For prom, high school seniors will have to video call each other

They need to practice social disdancing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaybram24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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A funeral home got busted for raffling dead bodies off to med schools.

Police said it was a dead giveaway.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NikkoE82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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Why did the orange enjoy high school?

He was in the pulp-ular crowd.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
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Your all like school during an epidemic

No class

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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Saw this on on of my school computers. Couldn’t resist.
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/defaultyboii05
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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Did you here about the kidnapping at school today???

It's fine, he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coop0606
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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Why did the cholo flunk cannibal school?

He couldn’t finish his ese.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoistlyHuman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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When Danny Zuko looks back at his time in high school ...

Do you think he is sandymental ?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_UR_WOTS_M8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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What school do baby cheeses go to?

Brie-school!

Courtesy of my daughter, who very proudly made it up.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/only_one_aye
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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Growing up I went to an all-Muslim school. The teacher asked me to make sure that my classmates weren't sneaking bacon at lunch.

I got a badge and a sash that read, "Halal Monitor"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unklethan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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They kicked me out of art school when my sculpture didn't work out as planned.

I reached my statue of limitations.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
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Which school does China send its prisoners?

kidney garden

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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I don’t get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they’re aimed at a younger audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattBatz1991
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Why didn’t the bridge go to school?

Because it was suspended.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WindsOfNight
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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Dad: Why is there no school now?

6 year old (serious as heck): Because they are out of toilet paper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lifeis_amystery
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
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Since converting to online school

I have became an official zoomer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffy627
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
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Hi! I got a chance to play the trumpet for my school band!‡️

BUT I blew it

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psyche_a_trik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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Your grandma used to teach English at school...

...and that’s why she’s always grandmatically correct.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cdnmfd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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In high school I had a cross eyed teacher

He wasn’t very good though, he couldn’t control his pupils

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yousuchafukinhoe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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Where does Africa’s deadliest killer go to school?

A hippocampus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SippinOnCoffee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
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An Iraqi schoolchild gets back home after school

His father asks him: β€œSon, what’s that on your back?”

The son answers: β€œIt’s my bag, dad”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batnuna
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
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My Dad told me he always struggled with three subjects in school;

Maths, and he couldn’t remember the other one.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Re_Peter_Parker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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Dad:”back when I had to do wall-sits in school..”

β€œI had enough and told my gym teacher I couldn’t stand doing them

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
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How does a bee get to school?

She takes a school buzz

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scooter_McAwesome
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
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have you heard about the new proposed school marking scheme where they divide the marks of a test out equally

They are calling it marks-ism

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercombo369
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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What was the snake’s favorite subject in school?

Hisstory

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.

It wasn’t hard work, after all, it was child’s play.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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What two areas of school sound like a delicious pastry when put together?

Percussion Pi.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rslashhuman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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Did you hear about the cow who dropped out of school to start a computer business?

He made lots of moola.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
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Clothes school
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IBobrDobrI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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finally, high school Spanish has become useful!
πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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My son has been learning about inventors at school and came home today desperate to know my favourite ground breaking invention.

I said the shovel

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBobbyGucci69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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Animals should be used to represent school subjects...

English should be a hawk, they have good eyes, and you need good eyes for reading. History should be bowhead whales since they’ve lived through more than anyone else. And finally, maths should be snakes, I hear they’re great Adders.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginalName172
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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Me: Dad!! I got mugged on my way home from school!!

Dad: damn! What will those kids throw at you next?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skylly100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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The math department at my former high school decided to dress as dominoes for Halloween
πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alt_Plus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Ventilation manufacturer for my school called β€œXpelair”
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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Son- today at school we learned about mythology..

Dad- your thology?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wedge001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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Did you hear about the school kidnapping

It was alright he woke up

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Attheskiingslug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's all okay, he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?

It’s okay, he woke up....

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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I experimented in high school with drugs and sex.

I was part of the control group.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_hate_p_values
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
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