Today's school pun
So today in school we were went on dates with energy (we were given a random energy and fact about them) so I said "I sure hope I get geothermal because then they'd be hot...
What do fish study in school?
My wife asked if people wearing camo was big when I was in school.
Told her if they did, I didn’t see them.
A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...
I asked my son how he did on his school report about Canada
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
This was at my high school
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
Why did a pirate drop out of school early?
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left to school ?
What do Father Christmas's little helpers learn at school ?
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”
This happened a while back, I was dropping my 7 year old school son to school. “Son, hurry up, we’re running late.”
Son: “no dad, we’re walking late.”
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
Schools today are serious about keeping sickness away. They even sent the espresso home today.
Because it was a little coffee.
Thought y’all might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school 🙃
My wife told me today, "Look, I've had this since high school and it still fits me."
Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner
Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.
Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.
I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.
Why did the horticulturist go to night school?
To learn thyme management
What do you get when you go to an emo school?
Beauty School would actually be very easy to procrastinate in
Because it has make up exams.
For all the time they spend in a school, you'd think that fish are really smart.
But it turns out, they're all below C level.
I heard that the jalapeño finally finished school.
He is now known as Dr. Pepper
The woman in charge of our local primary school has decided to resign.
She wants to quit while she's a head.
A son tells his Dad he wants to win the limbo contest at his school...
His dad says, "That's a pretty low bar."
What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
Where did Alfred go to school?
What is the first thing Santa's little helpers learn in school ?
A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...
I went to the Med school library to get a book on abdominal pain
Someone had already ripped the appendix out.
Sherlock, what kind of school is this?
Elementary, my dear Watson
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
My son’s learning about Buddhism in school, so when he’s around I make Nirvana jokes
Why didn't the Zombie want to go to school?
He was feeling a little rotten
Courtesy of my 6 year old
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school today?
What is the first thing elves learn in school?
I was recently rejected from a mushroom studying school.
They said there wasn't mushroom for a fungi like me.
Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award
I was voted most likely To.Be
There was a kidnapping in school
to get into firefighter school
you need to stop drop enroll
Wow. Today in med school I found out bad stuff is generated by one's hips...
Every year hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school
Never to be heard from again.
What did the dad buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off to school?