Today's school pun

So today in school we were went on dates with energy (we were given a random energy and fact about them) so I said "I sure hope I get geothermal because then they'd be hot...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatosalad2007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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What do fish study in school?

Algaebra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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My wife asked if people wearing camo was big when I was in school.

Told her if they did, I didn’t see them.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...

Bison

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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I asked my son how he did on his school report about Canada

He said he got an "eh".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_draw_the_comics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: β€œHow do you know it was going to school?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"

"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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My high school bully still takes my lunch money.

But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...

....or, am I a really bad teacher ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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This was at my high school
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Auggie-manz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.

I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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Why did a pirate drop out of school early?

he had seven c's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/artfillin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left to school ?

Bison

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What do Father Christmas's little helpers learn at school ?

The elf-abet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vivaan765
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.

I said, β€œYes, but I was part of the control group.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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This happened a while back, I was dropping my 7 year old school son to school. β€œSon, hurry up, we’re running late.”

Son: β€œno dad, we’re walking late.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkey-Magic007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.

Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M1ST3RT0RGU3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Schools today are serious about keeping sickness away. They even sent the espresso home today.

Because it was a little coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStateOfMantana
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Thought y’all might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school πŸ™ƒ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmkwee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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My wife told me today, "Look, I've had this since high school and it still fits me."

Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsureyoudo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.

Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.

.
.
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I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Why did the horticulturist go to night school?

To learn thyme management

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sir_anarchist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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What do you get when you go to an emo school?

Edgycation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chefo77
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Beauty School would actually be very easy to procrastinate in

Because it has make up exams.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bubba8115
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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For all the time they spend in a school, you'd think that fish are really smart.

But it turns out, they're all below C level.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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I heard that the jalapeΓ±o finally finished school.

He is now known as Dr. Pepper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fanoran
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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The woman in charge of our local primary school has decided to resign.

She wants to quit while she's a head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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A son tells his Dad he wants to win the limbo contest at his school...

His dad says, "That's a pretty low bar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellzone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Where did Alfred go to school?

Butler University

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...

They had to denominator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrindoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I went to the Med school library to get a book on abdominal pain

Someone had already ripped the appendix out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naj_md
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Sherlock, what kind of school is this?

Elementary, my dear Watson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMordorlorian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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My son’s learning about Buddhism in school, so when he’s around I make Nirvana jokes

Actually, nevermind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mercolorecords2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Why didn't the Zombie want to go to school?

He was feeling a little rotten

Courtesy of my 6 year old

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πŸ‘€︎ u/papawood22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school today?

It’s okay. He woke up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bob-Frapples
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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I was recently rejected from a mushroom studying school.

They said there wasn't mushroom for a fungi like me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SD_Swift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award

I was voted most likely To.Be

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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There was a kidnapping in school

Luckily worry he woke up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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to get into firefighter school

you need to stop drop enroll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Wow. Today in med school I found out bad stuff is generated by one's hips...

It's a waist product.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Every year hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school

Never to be heard from again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwansonsJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What did the dad buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off to school?

BISON.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/black_panthe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What is the first thing Santa's little helpers learn in school ?

The Elfabet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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What is the first thing elves learn in school?

the elf-abet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMop94175
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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