Today's school pun
So today in school we were went on dates with energy (we were given a random energy and fact about them) so I said "I sure hope I get geothermal because then they'd be hot...
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
school has really reminded me of english classes and writing a bunch of these
Why did the tree drop out of school?
He kept failing twigonometry.
A school collapsed on itself during school hours. When did it happen?
In school I was really bad at math. As a matter of fact,
I failed so many times, I can’t even count.
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
Going to school to learn how to Google+
What did the momma buffalo say to her baby buffalo on his way to school.
I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers!!
Why did the dog do so well in school?
Because he was the teacher’s pet
I recently found out that in most schools nowadays ...
Brass instruments are band.
Why was the school teacher busted?
He was trying to do some meth
When I was in school I got asked, "What is 3000 converted into Roman Numerals ?"
You know a school paper is a very rough draft when...
...it is rough enough to use as sandpaper.
You're going to need all the luck in the world to get an A on that paper.
Note: I was not sure if this should go in dadjokes or another joke sub-reddit.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
"I was teaching my son colours while I drove him to school."
"No, he's in college."
For anyone that's not 'overall' the details for school
What was the name of the janitor at the French marine biology school?
Where does a person go after high school?
My son went to a good school before the shutdown.
But now his school is virtually the best.
My son gets to play a frosted cinnamon biscuit in the school play!
My wife volunteers as a school crossing guard.
I tell everyone she’s into human trafficking.
I was ok with Algebra, Geometry, and Trigonometry when I was in high school.
But I reached my limit with Calculus.
Why did the fish fail school?
I had a crush on my science lab partner, then she left the school
I lost My Chemical Romance
Wizards go to school to learn how to spell.
I told my son, "Have you heard that they're shutting down all food resources in schools, so that children can't eat?"
"Canteens?" he asked.
"No, it doesn't matter what age," I replied.
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
By the time my brother got out of the 4th grade, we all knew what he was gonna be when he left high school
A Firefighter ran into a school holding a screwdriver and yelled...
Quick, everyone get out, this is NOT a drill!
My high school did a musical of a guy taking a girl out to dinner...
A joke I thought of in elementary school: what did the dragon say to the bad employee?
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
What's the first letter turkeys learn in school?
Have you heard about the guy who got in trouble for making a pun at school?
I got kicked out of school for getting married.
I was going for my bachelor’s degree.
Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds
Anyhow today I lost my job at the aquarium
I've been getting into a lot of trouble at school recently, so my dad asked to have a word in private
He turned to me and said, "Parwiovradte."
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Why was Hitler rejected from art school?
They did nazi his artistic talent
At first, I was afraid I was petrified. Kept thinking, I could never live without that post school drop off ride. Bet then I spent so many nights thinking, how you did me wrong.
And I grew strong and I learned a schoolless day is just so long. Go on now, go, walk out the door, please go to school now. 'Cause you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one, who each school day said goodbye? But now I think I'll crumble? And I'll lay down and die? Oh, no, not I, I will survive Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey.
In high school, I never went to those anti-drug programs.
My son is playing the clarinet for a school concert this evening
It’s a good thing his bedroom is soundproof
I was thrown out of music school for plagiarism.
They thought I was stealing songs, but I was just taking notes.
8yo nephew's an early bloomer. Gets home, tells his dad, "There was a kidnaping at school today." Dad: "What!?!" 8yo, dead serious, -
"It's okay, dad... He woke up." Doesn't even smile. Walks away.
What did the buffalo say to his son at the school dropoff?
Three of my high school's percussionists were all involved in a torrid affair regarding the geometric shaped piece of metal...
It was an odd love triangle...
For prom, high school seniors will have to video call each other
They need to practice social disdancing.
A funeral home got busted for raffling dead bodies off to med schools.
Police said it was a dead giveaway.
Why did the orange enjoy high school?
He was in the pulp-ular crowd.
Your all like school during an epidemic
Saw this on on of my school computers. Couldn’t resist.
Did you here about the kidnapping at school today???
Why did the cholo flunk cannibal school?
He couldn’t finish his ese.
When Danny Zuko looks back at his time in high school ...
Do you think he is sandymental ?
What school do baby cheeses go to?
Courtesy of my daughter, who very proudly made it up.
Growing up I went to an all-Muslim school. The teacher asked me to make sure that my classmates weren't sneaking bacon at lunch.
I got a badge and a sash that read, "Halal Monitor"
They kicked me out of art school when my sculpture didn't work out as planned.
I reached my statue of limitations.
Which school does China send its prisoners?
I don’t get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they’re aimed at a younger audience.
Why didn’t the bridge go to school?
Because it was suspended.
Dad: Why is there no school now?
6 year old (serious as heck): Because they are out of toilet paper
Since converting to online school
I have became an official zoomer
Hi! I got a chance to play the trumpet for my school band!⤵️
Your grandma used to teach English at school...
...and that’s why she’s always grandmatically correct.
In high school I had a cross eyed teacher
He wasn’t very good though, he couldn’t control his pupils
Where does Africa’s deadliest killer go to school?
An Iraqi schoolchild gets back home after school
His father asks him:
“Son, what’s that on your back?”
The son answers:
“It’s my bag, dad”
My Dad told me he always struggled with three subjects in school;
Maths, and he couldn’t remember the other one.
Dad:”back when I had to do wall-sits in school..”
“I had enough and told my gym teacher I couldn’t stand doing them
How does a bee get to school?
have you heard about the new proposed school marking scheme where they divide the marks of a test out equally
They are calling it marks-ism
What was the snake’s favorite subject in school?
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn’t hard work, after all, it was child’s play.
What two areas of school sound like a delicious pastry when put together?
Did you hear about the cow who dropped out of school to start a computer business?
finally, high school Spanish has become useful!
My son has been learning about inventors at school and came home today desperate to know my favourite ground breaking invention.
Animals should be used to represent school subjects...
English should be a hawk, they have good eyes, and you need good eyes for reading.
History should be bowhead whales since they’ve lived through more than anyone else.
And finally, maths should be snakes, I hear they’re great Adders.
Me: Dad!! I got mugged on my way home from school!!
Dad: damn! What will those kids throw at you next?
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
The math department at my former high school decided to dress as dominoes for Halloween
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Ventilation manufacturer for my school called “Xpelair”
Son- today at school we learned about mythology..
Did you hear about the school kidnapping
It was alright he woke up
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's all okay, he woke up.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
It’s okay, he woke up....
I experimented in high school with drugs and sex.
I was part of the control group.