Today's school pun
So today in school we were went on dates with energy (we were given a random energy and fact about them) so I said "I sure hope I get geothermal because then they'd be hot...
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︎ Mar 09 2019
What do fish study in school?
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︎ Jan 04 2021
My wife asked if people wearing camo was big when I was in school.
Told her if they did, I didnβt see them.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I asked my son how he did on his school report about Canada
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︎ Jan 03 2021
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: βHow do you know it was going to school?β
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︎ Oct 17 2020
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
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︎ Jan 04 2021
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
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︎ Nov 13 2020
I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
This was at my high school
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Why did a pirate drop out of school early?
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︎ Dec 30 2020
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left to school ?
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︎ Dec 23 2020
What do Father Christmas's little helpers learn at school ?
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︎ Jan 08 2021
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, βYes, but I was part of the control group.β
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︎ Nov 19 2020
This happened a while back, I was dropping my 7 year old school son to school. βSon, hurry up, weβre running late.β
Son: βno dad, weβre walking late.β
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Schools today are serious about keeping sickness away. They even sent the espresso home today.
Because it was a little coffee.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Thought yβall might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school π
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︎ Dec 20 2020
My wife told me today, "Look, I've had this since high school and it still fits me."
Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "
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︎ Jan 01 2021
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.
Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.
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I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Why did the horticulturist go to night school?
To learn thyme management
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︎ Jan 03 2021
What do you get when you go to an emo school?
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Beauty School would actually be very easy to procrastinate in
Because it has make up exams.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
For all the time they spend in a school, you'd think that fish are really smart.
But it turns out, they're all below C level.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I heard that the jalapeΓ±o finally finished school.
He is now known as Dr. Pepper
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︎ Nov 20 2020
The woman in charge of our local primary school has decided to resign.
She wants to quit while she's a head.
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︎ Dec 19 2020
A son tells his Dad he wants to win the limbo contest at his school...
His dad says, "That's a pretty low bar."
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Where did Alfred go to school?
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︎ Dec 29 2020
A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...
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︎ Dec 18 2020
I went to the Med school library to get a book on abdominal pain
Someone had already ripped the appendix out.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Sherlock, what kind of school is this?
Elementary, my dear Watson
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︎ Dec 14 2020
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
My sonβs learning about Buddhism in school, so when heβs around I make Nirvana jokes
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Why didn't the Zombie want to go to school?
He was feeling a little rotten
Courtesy of my 6 year old
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school today?
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︎ Nov 07 2020
I was recently rejected from a mushroom studying school.
They said there wasn't mushroom for a fungi like me.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award
I was voted most likely To.Be
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︎ Dec 10 2020
There was a kidnapping in school
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︎ Dec 01 2020
to get into firefighter school
you need to stop drop enroll
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Wow. Today in med school I found out bad stuff is generated by one's hips...
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Every year hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school
Never to be heard from again.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What did the dad buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off to school?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What is the first thing Santa's little helpers learn in school ?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
What is the first thing elves learn in school?
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︎ Dec 09 2020
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