My daughter was watching The Little Mermaid so I asked her if she knew why Sebastian was kicked out of college?

It's because all his grades where under da c

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBum80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
The College Board announced today that it will be dropping the essay section from the SAT.

It’ll now just be called the T.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tietjen1209
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
In college, we had a buddy who always gave us suggestions as to what booze or drugs to try.

He was the original trip advisor.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 656
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I called an old college classmate and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes, with hot water, under his wife’s supervision.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
What is a Rubix Cube’s favorite part of college?

Orientation

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masonprewett
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the sun go to college?

It already has like a million degrees!

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldbeardsdelight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid would've been in college by now.

So glad I pulled out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Thank you for getting me through college, student loan providers.

I don't think I can ever repay you.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I thanked my student loans for getting me through college.

I just don't know how I could ever repay them!

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.

We were maid for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend in college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked "should I go to college?"

They replied "of course you should"

I said "I degree"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My son is going to college in a town in Iowa...

He Ames to get a good education.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I can now legally tell dad jokes so heres my favorite. What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?

Bi son!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samfeegan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why's it hard for Americans to go to Canadian colleges?

Because... you must graduate High School with all Eh's.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to college to become a meteorologist but I quit because

too much of the grade was based on class precipitation.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SufficientVariety
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in college, all the fraternities rejected me because I was circumcised.

You had to be a complete dick.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When my kid graduates high school I want him to go to Indiana for college.

Then I can have a β€œHoosier Daddy” bumper sticker.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/damscomp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I have two college friends who studied ancient Egyptian plumbing.

They were pharaoh faucet majors.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonHeinie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call scientific equipment that went to college?

A graduated cylinder

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NanHacKer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neutrinoccino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did Jesus go to college?

Bless U

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J_Radical
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t afford to pay my electric bill in college

Those were pretty dark times

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Young6138
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardatworktom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was a single man in college, I had a lot of free time.

Then I started listening to full albums, and hardly ever left my room.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to this restaurant called Warren one time in college

It really was a terrible buffet

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnlightendOne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in college, my roommate and I would clean each other's rooms

We were maid for each other

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently failed my Medical College entrance exam because of nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
While taking a tour of a college campus, the tour guide mentioned that the school was surrounded by three different cemeteries.

Tour guide: And did you know that if you live across from a cemetery, you can’t be buried there?

Me: What?? Why not?

Tour guide: Because you’re still alive!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lind-zayy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The archaeologist had majored in geology in college,

but he was also a history miner.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you study in music college?

A major

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phagocitosis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My son wanted to join a really expensive math college but he didn't have enough money...

I needed to cosine for him.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arickg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How many college students does it take to change a lightbulb.

None, they can't afford the lightbulb.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuzzOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
College offers some questionable class choices, but o you know which one is the most sketchy?

Art class: Pencil Drawing 101

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
After going back to college to get yet another degree, some of my friends made fun of me for it.

They were some real 3rd degree burns.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turtle-tamer-73
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Not many people know about this, but when I was in college, I majored in surfing.

They called me a β€œrad” student.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daustin627
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do bees go to college for?

For a beesiness degree

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nykti
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the highway being built by the college in New Orleans?

It was Tulane

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spenpenn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the buffalo dad say to his son when he moved out for college?

Bye son

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Orehoj
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

Bison

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cullly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

β€œBison.”

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in college my roommate used to clean my room and I used to clean his

We were maid for each other

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.

We were maid for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sun never go to college?

It already has thousands of degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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