My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.

I love being a sniper.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/badindc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I had mono in high school. I went to the doctor today with similar symptoms but two times worse...

Turns out I have stereo.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TragedyMaskBand
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
If I was a smart but unscrupulous high school student, I would start a business doing other kids' homework for a nominal fee.

The name of the business? "Nerdy deeds, done dirt cheap"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talbottronious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
A high school girl was on her way home from a party, got knockout drunk, and shat on herself and all over her friends.

She was a real party pooper

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironninjapi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.

But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!

πŸ‘︎ 300
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
This was at my high school
πŸ‘︎ 232
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Auggie-manz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.

I said, β€œYes, but I was part of the control group.”

πŸ‘︎ 185
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.

I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Thought y’all might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school πŸ™ƒ
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmkwee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me today, "Look, I've had this since high school and it still fits me."

Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.

Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M1ST3RT0RGU3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalJunkie101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why princess ariel didn't finish high school?

Because her grades were always under the C.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ineedapapaya
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award

I was voted most likely To.Be

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s not that my high school math teacher was mean...

He was just average.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When my kid graduates high school I want him to go to Indiana for college.

Then I can have a β€œHoosier Daddy” bumper sticker.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/damscomp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad drives to the local high school and picks up his son.

Son: β€œDad, put me down, you’re embarrassing me.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a crush in high school...

... I drank it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TTChaos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the man get sent back to his home country for following his high school girlfriends life rules?

It was his ex-tradition

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
High school started out promising for me, but I ended up selling meat as a job.

I guess you can say I butchered my grades.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamz000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I remember having rocks thrown at me because I was a nerd in high school.

As they hit me, I thought, β€œthat’s not gneiss.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The only thing I learned in high school was how to multiply...

and I have eleven kids to prove it.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...

I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoggyOfAustralia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neutrinoccino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm surprised to find myself working at NASA even though i never graduated high school.

Someone had to clean the toilets and keep the place clean.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My chemistry book from high school... I was bored.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yesandno-2003
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My maths book from high school... I’m sorry
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yesandno-2003
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I still don't understand why I got in trouble in high school for turning in my Biology lab notebook with a turd in it.

The teacher told us specifically to keep a log in our notebook!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teduh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the similarity between a person with rheumatism and a high school drug dealer

They both have bad joints

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PocketGlove1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?

Because they get stereo instead!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Siigari
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Do Magicians Make Good High School Teachers?

They already know all of the trick questions.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I remember dressing up as a breakfast pastry for one of my high school plays.

It was a sweet role.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend from high school became an engineer or something.

He would design vehicles and stuff like no other.

One day he called me and said he had a very special design planned for his next vehicle.

So I asked him: "What's the big design you're working on?"

He said: "Its a secret. You'll find out later."

A few months later, he sends me a picture of this amazing motorbike that's entirely made of wood and nothing else. I called him back and told him I really liked it and if I could ride it.

He replied in a deep and depressing voice: "You can't I'm sorry. I threw it away."

I asked him why he threw away such a masterpiece he worked so hard to make.

He replied: "I tried everything..... But it just wooden start!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers!!

What are the odds?

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I was ok with Algebra, Geometry, and Trigonometry when I was in high school.

But I reached my limit with Calculus.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to be the president of the Voting Sucks club in high school

It was pretty good but I never got re-elected

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrumpGuy88888
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My high school bully once drew a zero on my face with a magic marker

He really did a number on me

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a friend in high school who was a foreign exchange student, and he always took mine and my friend’s e-cigarettes

We called him the international juul thief

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/minimikjr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My High School chemistry teacher gave us this pun quiz
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyaleWithMayo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
finally, high school Spanish has become useful!
πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does a person go after high school?

Home

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Psych-Demon
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to bully someone in high school...

Now I'm the one with eczema face.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranticFurret
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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