My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.
I had mono in high school. I went to the doctor today with similar symptoms but two times worse...
If I was a smart but unscrupulous high school student, I would start a business doing other kids' homework for a nominal fee.
The name of the business?
"Nerdy deeds, done dirt cheap"
A high school girl was on her way home from a party, got knockout drunk, and shat on herself and all over her friends.
She was a real party pooper
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
This was at my high school
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
Thought y’all might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school 🙃
My wife told me today, "Look, I've had this since high school and it still fits me."
Me: "Yeah!!! It's a scarf. "
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
Why princess ariel didn't finish high school?
Because her grades were always under the C.
Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award
I was voted most likely To.Be
It’s not that my high school math teacher was mean...
When my kid graduates high school I want him to go to Indiana for college.
Then I can have a “Hoosier Daddy” bumper sticker.
Dad drives to the local high school and picks up his son.
Son: “Dad, put me down, you’re embarrassing me.”
I had a crush in high school...
Why did the man get sent back to his home country for following his high school girlfriends life rules?
High school started out promising for me, but I ended up selling meat as a job.
I guess you can say I butchered my grades.
I remember having rocks thrown at me because I was a nerd in high school.
As they hit me, I thought, “that’s not gneiss.”
The only thing I learned in high school was how to multiply...
and I have eleven kids to prove it.
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...
I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
I'm surprised to find myself working at NASA even though i never graduated high school.
Someone had to clean the toilets and keep the place clean.
My chemistry book from high school... I was bored.
My maths book from high school... I’m sorry
I still don't understand why I got in trouble in high school for turning in my Biology lab notebook with a turd in it.
The teacher told us specifically to keep a log in our notebook!
What's the similarity between a person with rheumatism and a high school drug dealer
They both have bad joints
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
Why Do Magicians Make Good High School Teachers?
They already know all of the trick questions.
I remember dressing up as a breakfast pastry for one of my high school plays.
My friend from high school became an engineer or something.
He would design vehicles and stuff like no other.
One day he called me and said he had a very special design planned for his next vehicle.
So I asked him: "What's the big design you're working on?"
He said: "Its a secret. You'll find out later."
A few months later, he sends me a picture of this amazing motorbike that's entirely made of wood and nothing else. I called him back and told him I really liked it and if I could ride it.
He replied in a deep and depressing voice: "You can't I'm sorry. I threw it away."
I asked him why he threw away such a masterpiece he worked so hard to make.
He replied: "I tried everything..... But it just wooden start!"
I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers!!
I was ok with Algebra, Geometry, and Trigonometry when I was in high school.
But I reached my limit with Calculus.
I used to be the president of the Voting Sucks club in high school
It was pretty good but I never got re-elected
My high school bully once drew a zero on my face with a magic marker
He really did a number on me
I had a friend in high school who was a foreign exchange student, and he always took mine and my friend’s e-cigarettes
We called him the international juul thief
My High School chemistry teacher gave us this pun quiz
finally, high school Spanish has become useful!
Where does a person go after high school?
I used to bully someone in high school...
Now I'm the one with eczema face.
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
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