teacher puns are the best puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dpierceyjr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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Biology teacher pun

Teacher: How does Juliet maintain constant body temperature? Class: Ummm..... Teacher: Romeostatis

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicolas--
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
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Biology teacher pun part 2

Teacher: What did one daughter cell say to the other daughter cell when she stepped on her toe?

Class: Umm....

Teacher: That's my toe sis! (Mitosis)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicolas--
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
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A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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My biology teacher is a pun legend
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MushroomLatte
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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My teacher was talking about how her new puppy likes to eat rocks and...

https://preview.redd.it/0v9ktic4jrc61.png?width=462&format=png&auto=webp&s=71d4573f3dce3295220e65c8756cfa02b7319211

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Garlic-Nice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?

That's where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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My math teacher called me average...

How mean!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayZGatsby
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher

is what they were bangin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CreepersFTW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Did I tell you guys about the cross-eyed teacher?

She couldn’t control her pupils.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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I wanted to date my math teacher....

I wanted to date my math teacher to have a chance of looking at her tan lines. But I cant, cos its was a sin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/David-EN-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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My creative writing teacher told me to submit a creative 2,000 word essay.

So, I gave her 2 pictures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1biglebowski
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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My uncle was a math teacher.

When he retired, he bought a boat and named it Aftermath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.

So instead, a subreddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Why was the chemistry teacher upset?

Because their joke didn't get a reaction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilyGreen347
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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What did the teacher say when s/he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexsaintmartin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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We used to have a Teacher’s assistant named Ruth, but one day she left.

After that, our teacher became ruthless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Steph_Curryan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.

So today, a subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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Why did the teacher never fart in public?

He was a private tutor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinBender
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My teacher said my history is bad

I always use incognito mode.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.

Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"

Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*

Me: "Well played."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plane_Garbage
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Teacher: "You know, you really should have done your homework. It was in your best interest."

Kid: "Yeah, my dog ate it. How'd you know dogs were my best interest?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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My maths teacher called me average yesterday. How MEAN...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shivraj234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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When I needed a loan and didn’t have collateral, I called up my math teacher.

She was able to cosine.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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I told my teacher I learned a new word, Plentiful

She said β€œcongrats!”

I replied β€œthanks, it means a lot”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OogaBoogaWoog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence

Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning

Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul

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πŸ‘€︎ u/traceywashere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Those teachers aren’t mathing around
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zulfrum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Never pick a fight with a music teacher

You may think it’s A minor offense, but the punishment could B major

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Why was the math teacher late to work?

She took the rhombus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/babydluv21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Got a math assignment from my teacher the other day...

When I glanced over the assignment , I noticed one of the problems was missing.

I waved down the teacher, and he came over and said, "Everything looking good?"

I said, "I don't see a problem here."

He looked at me and said, "Great!" and walked away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Why is Gandalf a terrible teacher?

He starts by telling you that you shall not pass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave7243
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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How did the anatomy teacher become successful

He got a head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My teacher asked us to describe our breakfast in one word.

I told her it was surreal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WoNelli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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My teacher gave me some weak paper the other day

It was tearable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealSamHawkins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Why did the Math teacher get a divorce?

He substituted his wife for an ex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteSamurai5150
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Algebra teachers support change in the world...

Because they love radicals.

(Sorry if this has been done before, this is my first post on this sub)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Main
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I never liked art teachers...

They were always a bit sketchy.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Our cooking teacher gave us a notice about the part of our upcoming exam where we'd be working with cheese wheels...

"It'll be grated on a curve."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...

I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?

A pro-grammar

Was told by a friend's father!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTimeDictator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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My Karate teacher is getting a divorce.

He is a great Sensei, but he's not very skilled at the marital arts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mhoke63
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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What’s the difference between a train conductor and a teacher?

One minds the train while the other trains the mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldenpike
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Why was the math teacher late to work?

Because she got on the rhombus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/babydluv21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now" Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher.

No idea why the school hired him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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What drugs do teachers use?

Crystal math

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TiesG92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Teacher: Use the word β€˜intermittent’ in a sentence.

I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Sidgio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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