teacher puns are the best puns.
Biology teacher pun
Teacher: How does Juliet maintain constant body temperature?
Biology teacher pun part 2
Teacher: What did one daughter cell say to the other daughter cell when she stepped on her toe?
Teacher: That's my toe sis! (Mitosis)
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
My biology teacher is a pun legend
My teacher was talking about how her new puppy likes to eat rocks and...
I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?
That's where I draw the line.
My math teacher called me average...
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
Did I tell you guys about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn’t control her pupils.
I wanted to date my math teacher....
I wanted to date my math teacher to have a chance of looking at her tan lines. But I cant, cos its was a sin.
My creative writing teacher told me to submit a creative 2,000 word essay.
So, I gave her 2 pictures.
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
My uncle was a math teacher.
When he retired, he bought a boat and named it Aftermath.
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
Why was the chemistry teacher upset?
Because their joke didn't get a reaction.
What did the teacher say when s/he jumped out of the closet?
We used to have a Teacher’s assistant named Ruth, but one day she left.
After that, our teacher became ruthless
Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.
Why did the teacher never fart in public?
My teacher said my history is bad
I always use incognito mode.
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
Teacher: "You know, you really should have done your homework. It was in your best interest."
Kid: "Yeah, my dog ate it. How'd you know dogs were my best interest?"
My maths teacher called me average yesterday. How MEAN...
When I needed a loan and didn’t have collateral, I called up my math teacher.
I told my teacher I learned a new word, Plentiful
She said “congrats!”
I replied “thanks, it means a lot”
Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence
Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning
Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul
Those teachers aren’t mathing around
Never pick a fight with a music teacher
You may think it’s A minor offense, but the punishment could B major
Why was the math teacher late to work?
Got a math assignment from my teacher the other day...
When I glanced over the assignment , I noticed one of the problems was missing.
I waved down the teacher, and he came over and said, "Everything looking good?"
I said, "I don't see a problem here."
He looked at me and said, "Great!" and walked away.
Why is Gandalf a terrible teacher?
He starts by telling you that you shall not pass.
How did the anatomy teacher become successful
My teacher asked us to describe our breakfast in one word.
I told her it was surreal
My teacher gave me some weak paper the other day
Why did the Math teacher get a divorce?
He substituted his wife for an ex.
Algebra teachers support change in the world...
Because they love radicals.
(Sorry if this has been done before, this is my first post on this sub)
I never liked art teachers...
They were always a bit sketchy.
Our cooking teacher gave us a notice about the part of our upcoming exam where we'd be working with cheese wheels...
"It'll be grated on a curve."
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?
Was told by a friend's father!
My Karate teacher is getting a divorce.
He is a great Sensei, but he's not very skilled at the marital arts.
What’s the difference between a train conductor and a teacher?
One minds the train while the other trains the mind.
Why was the math teacher late to work?
Because she got on the rhombus.
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now" Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher.
No idea why the school hired him.
What drugs do teachers use?
Teacher: Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence.
I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.