teacher puns are the best puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dpierceyjr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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Biology teacher pun

Teacher: How does Juliet maintain constant body temperature? Class: Ummm..... Teacher: Romeostatis

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicolas--
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
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Biology teacher pun part 2

Teacher: What did one daughter cell say to the other daughter cell when she stepped on her toe?

Class: Umm....

Teacher: That's my toe sis! (Mitosis)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicolas--
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
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Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.

So today, a subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 24k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
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I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.

Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"

Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*

Me: "Well played."

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plane_Garbage
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
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Once my school had multiple teachers absent and they sent the substitutes to the wrong class AMA

Whoops wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjxdtjtxjynx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17
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Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: It’s may.

Student: No, it’s January

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
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I'm a teacher and I like to do superhero impressions before class to put students in a good mood.

The other day I told them I was going to do an imitation of Batman, so I started off with:

"Argh… kryptonite, getting weaker…"

"THAT'S SUPERMAN!" a student in the back row yelled

"Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot", I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
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The teacher kicks me out of our class

Now I'm outstanding

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skyxvii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22
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Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14
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What do you call the kid in class that always demands the teacher give the exam results ASAP?

Markus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lakkabrah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16
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Chalk boards are no longer being used in schools, so when the last school finally took them down to install smart boards, the teachers gathered all the writing utensils from them and had a large bon fire just outside the school. It smelled so good.

They loved chalk lit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baldeagle77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22
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A math teacher asked his class...

"If you have ten dollars and ask your dad for ten dollars, how many dollars do you have?"

A student replied, "10 dollars"

The teacher responds, "You don't know your maths, kiddo"

To which the student replies, "Well you don't know my dad"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pr0fe55ionalN00b
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
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For a Chemistry teacher, what is the golden rule that his class must follow?

That they maintain decAurum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CakeEaterMidir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
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You know you’ve made a terrible joke when you make the math teacher completely lose it.

Teacher: β€œIf acceleration is constant, we get all these really nice formulas. If acceleration is not constant, the math gets messy.”

Me: β€œYou might say that for ruining the math, it’s being a jerk.”

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobby-Bobson
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
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Teacher asked β€œWhat is the formula of water?” Student said β€œH I J K L M N O” teacher said β€œthat’s not the formula of water”

Student said β€œyou said the formula was H to O”.

πŸ‘︎ 270
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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Did you hear about the teacher who ran a landscaping business during breaks?

He operated the grader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
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I had a very good math teacher. He was an integral part of my life. It doesn’t add up that I can’t remember who he was.

He is a real Mister Riemann.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
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What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?

She grated it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/franticsword
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
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My music teacher said:

You are lacking musiquality

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ensar1134
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
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Teacher: why are you smiling? My brain:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peepeebigg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
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Hey son, today I told your science teacher a joke about salt, and she said...

"That's sodium funny!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
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If painters paint, and teachers teach...

do janitors janit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
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The chemistry teacher broke her leg.

Turned out it was a compound fracture.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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At our PTA meeting, my son's teacher said he's the best she's ever seen at using Elmer's...

She said he's a glue-ru.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
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Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.

So instead, a subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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I hated my job as an origami teacher

Too much paperwork

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
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My english teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.

I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moonxmochi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
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Our art teacher wanted us to come closer to sketch an aspect of distance or time...

We all drew near.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
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My sarcastic teacher handed back my final exam..

I was told I was intelligen’t

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CakeRedditor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
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The chemistry teacher is always pushing my buttons in class!

I think she’s just looking for a reaction.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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How many times did the Spanish teacher have to tell her class how to say eleven?

Once

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πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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I think I have worked out why students dislike math teachers

They just keep giving you problems.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
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My math teacher called me average

How mean is that ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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Why was the school teacher busted?

He was trying to do some meth

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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The teacher is too salty

Teacher: What is below 7 in the pH scale?
Student: Acids.
Teacher: Good. What is above 7?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Clearly you don't know the basic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/099nightwalker
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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I used to know a teacher who could never hold a fart in.

He was a terrible private tooter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
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I asked my teacher if she could sign me up for a puppetry class, even though it was full.

She said she’ll be able to pull some strings.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
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Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?

Because he fingered A Minor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryryryn0
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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My friend with the lazy eye just lost his job as a teacher.

He had a real hard time controlling his pupils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. β€œHow do you know if the dog was dead?” She asked the boy. β€œI know because I pissed in his ear.” The teacher looked horrified. β€œWhat do you mean you pissed in his ear??”

β€˜I went up to him and went β€œPssstt!” in his ear and he didn’t move.’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Commment
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
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Teacher posted this lol
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jophish916
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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I was the top student in my class until my teacher gave me very low marks.

She degraded me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaroZoroark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
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Why can’t a physics teacher and a biology teacher date?

Because they have no chemistry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BULbyCharTOle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
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I went to a Halloween party with my geometry teacher

Her costume was really squarey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
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I got mad when my teacher told me I was an average student.

It was just a mean thing to say.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dah_uja2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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My teacher told me to begin studying things with a pH higher than 7.

She always tells me to start with the basic stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alex13104
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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Why can't you trust a math teacher holding a graph paper?

She's definitely plotting something.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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What did the math teacher say after they were magically transformed into a tree?

Gee, I’m a tree. (It sounds like geometry if you say it out loud).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WitherLord888
πŸ“…︎ May 21
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What did the science teacher say when someone threw water at him?

HΒ²Oh!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mozzatits
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
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What’s a substitute teacher’s favorite restaurant?

Subway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bsoyka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
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I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail

But apparently you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.

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πŸ“…︎ May 19
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Son: "Dad I know you're an English teacher, but can I ask you the date in Roman Numerals?"

Dad: "I think you mean May I"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoPotahto
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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My math teacher walked into the classroom, wrote a tiny number "7" on the board, then walked back out again.

I thought, that's a little odd.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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Teacher: Give me a sentence using the words defense, defeat and detail.

Student: When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/c8choruta
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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What do you do when your female teacher says your name wrong?

You teacher

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
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Brought to you from my math teacher.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doc-Zombie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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I've decided to become a math teacher, but I'm only going to teach subtraction.

I just want to make a difference.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Why couldn’t Beethoven find his teacher?

Because he was Haydn.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingInTheNorth57
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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The chemistry teacher rejoined the FBI after several years of teaching.

She became a reagent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
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How did the English teacher kill her self - cliff hanger!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xmattar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
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My music teacher gave me the best compliment ever

So i (16M) like jokes. I told one to my (awesome dad joke enthusiast) music teacher that went something like.

him picking up a guitarr Me: why are you so strΓ€ng?

StrΓ€ng means guitarr string and also strict as in a strict teacher in Swedish.

He laughed a bit and said: "you are gonna make a great dad"

Thank you PΓ€r, love ya buddy!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luer1001
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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Teacher: β€œJohnny, can you spell weather?” Johnny: β€œW...E...V...V...A” ...

Teacher: β€œWell that is the worst spell of weather we’ve had in a while!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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I didn't think my son was stealing from his geometry teacher until I saw his room...

All the sines were there.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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All teachers should know the I before E except after C rule.

Unless they teach science.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freerider020
πŸ“…︎ May 11
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I was having trouble playing a song on guitar and my teacher said "practice to a tick"

It didn't work at all and now I have Lyme disease

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πŸ‘€︎ u/disintegore
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
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What happens when the teacher forgets the magnets for science lab?

Ferrous metal's day off

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Preceptual
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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We were learning about politics and discrimination in class. Our teacher told us to grab colored pencils.

He then corrected himself. What he meant to say, was pencils of color.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Sparky_
πŸ“…︎ May 12
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My maths teacher started throwing wordplay in calculus problems, I guess it is

A problem of Ex-pun-ential order

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kyatapleekhai03
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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Today my maths teacher showed us a bomb

then he blew the lesson way out of proportion

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ May 12
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I remember when I once had a friends named Eni. We were best friends until one day, she gossiped about me and stopped hanging out with me. The following day, a teacher asked me if a had any friends,

I responded with β€œNo, not Eni.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SHiFT_VeLoCiiTy
πŸ“…︎ May 14
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My English grammar teacher was having some marriage problems and it was really getting to him, so the whole class joined in to buy him a gift

After we bought him a simple present, he was past tense

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 01
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My teacher asked the class to get onto our computers.

Mine couldn't support my weight, and broke.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/05nolee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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My son's math teacher called him average

I just think he's mean

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huhmanrawx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?

She got a full sentence

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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My PE teacher told me I was so bad at golf that I should go to golf jail

It would be a shame if they putt me in there.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ibean2d
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
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What did the student say to the geography teacher

Kenya please stop!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
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You don't need style to be a teacher,

but class is a necessity.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klaustrofoben
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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Are you the replacement teacher for my class today?

Sorry, wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bionic_Sandwich
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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A maths teacher decided to form a band, what he’s gonna call it?

Algorythm. (Algorithm)

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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I finally figured out why dads make great science teachers.

They are really in their element.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dramulk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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My teacher told me I would never be any good at Poetry because of my dyslexia....

But so far I've made 3 vases and a jug.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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The teacher asked the student about the progress on the Microsoft Office course.

The student responded: 'thank you for asking, i'm doing excellent.'

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/burt_tts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
Growing up I went to an all-Muslim school. The teacher asked me to make sure that my classmates weren't sneaking bacon at lunch.

I got a badge and a sash that read, "Halal Monitor"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unklethan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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What do you call a teacher that farts in the closet?

Private Tutor

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stripedpixel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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My teacher told me the meaning of plethora today

I thanked her and told her it means a lot

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoboNinja2019
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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I once walked in on my teachers having sex

Being homeschooled was never easy for me

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teacher explode when he was corrected by one of his students?

Because he was undermined

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunkz3n
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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The teacher asked if anyone knew the square root of negative one...

So I shouted β€œI”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAmpersand
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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In high school I had a cross eyed teacher

He wasn’t very good though, he couldn’t control his pupils

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yousuchafukinhoe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
My 4th grade teacher was a bubble gum Nazi

She hated the chews

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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My chemistry teacher covered me head to toe in sodium chloride after I flunked my test...

I've never been more ensalted in my life

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
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Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?

He couldn't control his pupils.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mojo884ever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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