My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
Why did the student throw a 64 pack of Crayola crayons at his art teacher after he was done with his test?
He wanted to pass with flying colors.
I thought of that myself.
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
I saw my math teacher with a sheet of graph paper eatlier
I think he’s plotting something
Once we had a cooking exam. After I finished, teacher said, that it was well done
My math teacher gave me a detention
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Teacher: use "officiate" in a sentence
Studend: A man got sick because of a fish he ate.
My son asked his teacher, "If a person should be punished for something he hasn't done?"
"NO" Said the teacher. "Of course not."
"Great" said my son. "I haven't done my homework. "
What's a math teachers favourite food?
After hearing me sing my music teacher suggested I should be a tenor.....
Tenor twelve feet away from earshot.
My teacher asked me to make a sentence with the word defence, defeat and detail
When a horse jumps over defence defeat go first the detail
Did you hear about the peanut that wanted to be a teacher?
It wanted to go into macadamia.
What’s a teachers favorite spell
My biology teacher is a pun legend
What do you call a teacher that would never break wind in public?
As a chemistry teacher, someone asked me during one of my labs if I look at memes.
Anakin was a bad student. Never paid attention in class, never took any tests seriously. All his teachers were angry with him. Teacher Obi-Wan was specially worried when he had to say,
"I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you."
Teacher: use the word geometry in a sentence
Student: One day, an acorn fell off, landed and sprouted. It grew and grew, and one day it woke up and said “gee, I’m a tree!”
Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.
I've noticed that a lot of math teachers don't want to be mean...
They strive to be above average.
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?
That's where I draw the line.
My son came out with this one today; My teacher told me to have a good day...
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
How can you identify a group of math teachers?
They're the ones that look like alge-bros.
What would a bar owned by an English teacher be called?
What do you call an IT teacher who has an inappropriate relationship with a student?
My son's science fair entry was a volcano made of a fat product from rendering the fatty tissue of a pig. My son's fat teacher waddled around everywhere when he set it off...
The lard ash was everywhere!
My creative writing teacher told me to submit a creative 2,000 word essay.
So, I gave her 2 pictures.
My English teacher has a weird last name so we should just call him Matthew
It doesn't fit him though so we've agreed to call him Englishew
My uncle was a math teacher.
When he retired, he bought a boat and named it Aftermath.
We used to have a Teacher’s assistant named Ruth, but one day she left.
After that, our teacher became ruthless
I told my teacher I learned a new word, Plentiful
She said “congrats!”
I replied “thanks, it means a lot”
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: crumples self portrait
Never pick a fight with a music teacher
You may think it’s A minor offense, but the punishment could B major
I hear Ms. Parton became a Buddhist teacher...
Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence
Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning
Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul
Got a math assignment from my teacher the other day...
When I glanced over the assignment , I noticed one of the problems was missing.
I waved down the teacher, and he came over and said, "Everything looking good?"
I said, "I don't see a problem here."
He looked at me and said, "Great!" and walked away.
When I needed a loan and didn’t have collateral, I called up my math teacher.
Why did the Math teacher get a divorce?
He substituted his wife for an ex.
Teacher: Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence.
I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.
What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?
A pro-grammar
Was told by a friend's father!
What’s the difference between a train conductor and a teacher?
One minds the train while the other trains the mind.
Why is Gandalf a terrible teacher?
He starts by telling you that you shall not pass.
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
Teacher: "Use the word sugar in a sentence."
Student: "The tea is too sweet."
Teacher: "Where is sugar in the sentence?"
Student: "In the tea!!"
Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.
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